>Striped

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>Today’s Bizarro is brought to you by My Favorite Novels.

True, some of us are predisposed to look heavier.

For instance, even though I am 6′ 4″ tall, my body type makes me look more like 5′ 7″. The illusion my body type creates is so complete that when you hold a tape measure up next to me, it even makes the tape measure look shorter. Again, around 5′ 7″ or so.

Fortunately, I also have a body type that makes me look thinner than I actually am. While I weigh around 225 lbs, I look like I don’t weigh a pound over 140. Living as a big, tall man who looks like a small, thin man has both advantages and disadvantages.

Advantage: A bully picks a fight with me thinking I am a wimpy little dude but then I kick his ass like an ape on a luggage commercial.

Disadvantage: Women who respond to my personal ads have difficulty hiding their disappointment when they meet me the first time.

The point of all of this is that we all have our imperfections to bear. At least you’re not covered with permanent horizontal stripes.

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10 thoughts on “>Striped

  1. >piraro,this is off the topic actually know its animal topicmay 31st greyound racing is history in rhode islandhttp://twinriver.com/

  2. >Dan, Please help me get back to work. I cant figure out why the basketball players names should affect the coach. Please explain.Jeff

    • To Cajun58, I am 77 yrs young. When I was a little kid we had this word trick we would play on our buddies. I’d say that I could teach you to speak Sioux, Or Cherokee, or Apache, …….. just say this” owewatta, goo, ziam, now say it over and over as fast as you can. Try it on someone, it’s fun. Your friend Beaudreux.

  3. >It’s time I started looking for zebra striped clothing,in the men’s department (no explanation required).BTW; happy belated, National Cartoonist’s Day (May 5th), or National Comic Book Day, as some call it. I just recently learned it falls on the same day as Cinco De Mayo. Hope you got treated to a Happy “Vegan” Meal.

  4. >I learned an AWESOME word yesterday, “embonpoint”. Clickee to hear.One of my bestest friends is the embonpointiest girl in the world, and yet feels fat and ugly. She’s not fat. She’s curvy and gorgeous and really, really strong; she’s a nurse and can single-handedly lift patients that the wimpy little nurses can’t even team-lift. I’m so sick of the standards in this country. The healthy and embonpoint are made to feel bad, while weak and skeletal are held up as the ideal.I’ll get off my soapbox now.

  5. >@ Jeffcub and Cajun58…I’ll be posting a blog about that cartoon next week, probably on Tuesday the 12th. Lots of confusion over that one.

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