>Halloween

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Pumpkin
Abuse.

It is Halloween weekend and if I were a 10-year-old child I’d be getting my costume ready for trick-or-treating. But since I am ancient and my sciatica is acting up, I’ll probably stay in with my nurse and have her rub liniment on my lower back. Did I mention my nurse is a 24-year-old student from Sweden?

A few years ago, I started doing “Scariest Halloween Costumes of (year)” Sunday cartoons and have kept that tradition. Here today are all of them since 2007 when I began.

(click the cartoon images for a biggerer view)
As you can see, the first one is graphically fairly simple in comparison to what I did in later years. In this one I referred to global warming, the lead toys from China scandal, NFL quarterback Michael Vick’s dog fighting problems, more about the environment with the over-zealous breeders, and the consistently abhorrent anti-role models, Paris Hilton and Britney Spears. Strangely, I got the most hate mail about the population crisis. Many fundamentalist Christians took exception to my contradiction of their lord’s instructions to “be fruitful and multiply.” I still contend He was talking about practicing your math skills.

In ’08, an election year, I touched on the collapsing economy and blamed it on the Republicans, which everyone but a die-hard Republican would agree with. I also hit the TV writer’s strike, which has pretty much been forgotten by now. I expected hate mail about the drunken elephant and got some.

2009 brought the term “Zombie bank” into the popular lexicon, which was a natural for this. It was also the year Kanye West made an ass of himself at the MTV awards (or whatever it was), Michael Jackson died, and Fox and it’s minions funded and organized the faux grass-roots protests about health care reform. I got hate mail about the health care reform aspect on this one, of course.

This year’s cartoon does not touch on political events at all, though there were plenty of easy targets. The Fox News funded and organized, faux grass-roots Tea Baggers would have been an obvious choice but American politics have become so incredible incendiary and stupid that I no longer bother to editorialize. (Except here on this blog.) I’ve decided that such things do nothing to change anyone’s mind and amid the current epidemic of idiocy, I might get tarred and feathered or lynched. Still, I think the three topics I chose are funny, especially the little Jesse James Nazi kid with his toy chopper bike. Although Jay Leno stealing candy from a baby makes me smile, too. I can’t imagine what hate mail I could get from this one but I’m often surprised. I’ll keep you updated.

Have fun on Halloween this year and be safe. Unless being safe ruins your fun, in which case you should just go for it. What’s a few less humans on a crowded planet?

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18 thoughts on “>Halloween

  1. >Piraro said: "Unless being safe ruins your fun, in which case you should just go for it. What's a few less humans on a crowded planet?"Look Dan, I know you're trying to be funny, but stuff like this just comes off as misanthropic and causes me to lose respect for you. You might want to consider your wording a little more carefully.

  2. >Uhhhhh- that Swedish nurse: When she is done with you, could you ask her if she is interested in a trip to Toronto? (It only hurts when I laugh.)

  3. >Here is a very silly idea for a comic – every time I hear the song "Desperado" by the Eagles(?) I hear Desperate Otters.Desperate Otters, Why don't you come to your senses? You've been out riding fences blah blah blah.The idea of otters, desperate ones at that, riding horses just cracks me up. I also came up with "poultry-geists" before Larson did.

  4. >Well you really do seem to be very one-sided on political subjects. Everything Fox News does and says is not automatically evil or wrong, and I don't remember you EVER making fun of Democrats, and there have been many opportunities. Jesus was a community worker, anyone?

  5. >I won't complain if you don't approve this comment, but I would like to say something to you regarding "I no longer bother to editorialize. (Except here on this blog.) I've decided that such things do nothing to change anyone's mind and amid the current epidemic of idiocy…" The reason people either want to stab you or sing your praises with no middle ground of intelligent thought when you give commentary is that you are being a little too one sided in your statements. For example, when you say that a person is "afraid of cheaper healthcare" you are essentially preaching to the choir; the audience that already believes the same as you will no doubt feel your comic to be hilarious and inspiring. They will feel better about their beliefs, with the assurance that there is someone else out there that understands the situation. People on the other side of the fence will be offended, feeling that they are being unfairly "picked on," if you will. The ability to change comes only with the ability to understand the other side whether or not you believe something to be true, whether or not it is true. The same thing goes for animal rights. I respect your opinions, even if I don't agree with all of them,.

  6. >Dan, you have such great talent with your artistry, why must you stoop to such immature name calling with the tea-ba**er stuff?Come on, man, you should be above that by now.

  7. >Could someone explain the Jay Leno one? I didn't quite get that. (My late night choices are Chelsea Lately, Daily Show, & SNL….so maybe I'm just outta the loop on this one.)

  8. >@RaleighRob…Jay retired from the Tonight Show and gave it to Conan O'Brien amidst much hoopla and publicity as well as millions spent to retool the show for Conan. Seven months later, Jay decided to come back and took the show from Conan.

  9. >@ James and Matt…I AM misanthropic, that's why I come off that way. I enjoy the company of individual humans and feel empathy for my fellow man, but I have no respect whatsoever for humans as a species or society as a whole. As Kurt Vonnegut said: "We're terrible animals. I think that the Earth's immune system is trying to get rid of us, as well it should." I make fun of the Tea Party because it is a dangerous movement of uneducated, fearful people who have been duped by the wealthy to vote against their best interest. All of this is orchestrated by a handful of very wealthy, powerful and unscrupulous businessmen at the top of Fox News Corp. It is our patriotic duty, if you believe in such a thing, to point them out and turn them around.Now you people have gotten me talking about politics again when I've just said there is no point. Have I convinced either of you of my point of view? Of course not.

  10. >I look at Democrats as "…a dangerous movement of uneducated, fearful people who have been duped by the wealthy to vote against their best interest." I also look at Republicans as "…a dangerous movement of uneducated, fearful people who have been duped by the wealthy to vote against their best interest." They're all in it for their own self-aggrandizing. Being on one bandwagon is as bad as being on the other. Get off the bandwagons, folks, and think through your own opinions, then we can discuss.

  11. >The first step in getting rid of excess humanity is remove all stop signs and traffic lights!! I live in NY State I, believe I will Vote for Kristen Davis, the Manhattan Madam. She could wrangle whores in NYC, why not Albany? I am also hoping for the passage of Prop 19 in California. Won't do me any good here, ( I don't smoke weed anyway) but I would rather hang out with a room full of mellow stoners than a room full of surly drunks.

  12. This is an old one, but typo report: “Fox and it’s minions” … I probably wouldn’t bother, what with the proliferation of such errors these days, but you’ve stated before that you care about punctuation and grammar, etc. .. :)

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