Walrus Extravaganza

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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Lennon Chair.

Hello again, Bizarro Jazz Pickles. I’ve been away from my beloved blog for too long and our reunion is like sweet nectar from the gods. (My personal faith involves several gods who closely resemble giant hummingbirds.)

Yesterday I moved into my new place in LA and I’m very happy about it. I’ve been staying with my swell pal, Adam Paul, for the past several weeks and he has been the coolest guy ever. But I’m looking forward to being in a place of my own and getting back to work! As anyone who has strayed more than 40 feet from the place of their birth knows, moving is a miserable affair. Many thanks to Adam for his friendship and generosity and to his French bulldog, Roscoe, for his cuddling and saliva. If you ever have a rubber squeaky toy that you want to get rid of for good, don’t throw it while Roscoe is around because he’ll only bring it right back.

To catch you up to date, here’s a week’s-worth of cartoons. I shall attempt to get back to blogging more regularly but this move has really eaten up a lot of my time.

I’m really happy with the walrus gag above and got a handful of emails from Beatles fans who liked it, too. Unbeknownst to me, I scheduled this cartoon to run in close proximity to the anniversary of Lennon’s death. (Shame on me for not having memorized the date!) One reader was offended by this cartoon and called me, “unspeakably rude, insensitive, and disgusting.” If you want to read the rest of her comment and my reply, click here and scroll down the comments about half way.

Cartoon #2 is a collaborative effort between me and my “known associate,” Wayno.  He discusses the year-long process we went through to get to this fairly simple gag on his blog.

 

 

 

 

 

Cartoon #3 is also a collaboration with Wayno, but this time I used the gag pretty much exactly as he wrote and envisioned it. Here’s what the little guy has to say about this effort.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In our 4th cartoon today, this poor shopper is falling apart. I went to a local grocery store yesterday to stock the kitchen in my new digs, but am happy to report that I did not lose any body parts. I am thankful for that––it’s hard enough being the new guy in LA without added embarrassments like this. I already feel conspicuous in this city of beautiful people and am certain that everyone instantly knows I’m not from here because my teeth are still the color of  human teeth and my chest and arms are still the size of normal human body parts.

And now we come to last Sunday’s cartoon. Though the Simpson family on TV is supposed to live in Springfield, in truth, the entire show is filmed on a backlot in Hollywood. Industry rumor has it that Homer has indeed undergone too much Botox and the lines of his face must now be added with makeup before shooting a scene. Marge has also employed plastic surgery to alter her looks and has giant knockers, which must be bound tight to maintain her character’s looks for the show.

Our 6th cartoon today is also about phony-baloney people, but I have no funny comments for it. I have, however, left a generous amount of white space below for you to add your own. I find that a Sharpie works best on computer screens.

 

 

 

 

 

 

And last but not least (depending on your opinion) is a cartoon about an African Grey parrot with a cracker problem. Thousands of parrots in the U.S. each year die from cracker overdose, but at least this admirable little bird is attempting to deal with his addiction. Well done, Mr. Parrot. You are an inspiration to us all.

 

If you’re like millions of people who feel the holiday gun to your head forcing you to find just the right gift, look no further. It’s here.

 

 

 

 

 

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