Oozing Helmet Plague


Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Jeopardy Answer.

So sorry to all of you who depend on reading my blog regularly to be able to sleep at night. I’ve been busy as a monkey with too many bananas lately and my blogging schedule has taken a hit. Don’t be angry with me, I’m punishing myself plenty enough for both of us.

As I mentioned in my previous post, this week the writing and drawing of Bizarro was generously taken over by my “known associate,” Wayno. He’s a good guy and helped me get an extra week ahead on deadlines to give me more time to move. Such a nice boy, in spite of his personal hygiene. (Which is excellent, of course. I’m just kidding. I kid sometimes.)

Anyone remember Rice Krispies, the cereal, and their spokescharacters, Snap, Crackle, and Pop? Me either, but apparently they exist so Wayno made a joke about it. I think it is funny. Bit of behind-the-scenes trivia––Wayno used parts of me in every character in this cartoon. From left to right: the mustache, the cigar, the dazed look in the eyes, the buck teeth.

In this cartoon about a Swisserman, he did not use any parts of me. Which, based on how that last cartoon turned out, is probably a good thing. The quonset hut in the back looks a bit like my new place in LA, though.

Our last cartoon today is about that irritating pharaoh in all of our lives. In my own real life, I have three brothers-in-law since all three of my sisters managed to con someone into marrying them. They’re all nice guys and none would come under the heading of “annoying brother-in-law,” but you get the point. Wayno, on the other hand, probably hates his brother(s)-in-law, otherwise how could you possibly explain this cartoon? You cant, that’s my point.

Wayno has his own blog (he’s probably copying me, but he’s a friend so I let it go) so perhaps he goes into great detail about why he hates his brother(s)-in-law, who they are, where they live, and embarrassing anecdotes about their idiocy. I hope so. That would be fun. Let’s find out here.


Just because the spotlight is on Wayno this week doesn’t mean you can forget entirely about me and how much my meager income depends on people buying my books. This one is a perfect example of a really good one.


5 thoughts on “Oozing Helmet Plague

  1. Wayno obviously modeled his Swiss Army Helmet after the Victorinox brand of Swiss Army knife. Good choice. Their knives are the Swiss Army knife of choice for discerning geeks and nerds. Just ask one! With little prompting you’ll get a lecture and demonstration on every implement contained therein. Great way to scare away potential girl friends on a first date. Ask me now I know.

  2. I fell a little behind on my Bizzaro blog reading and couldn’t help but notice that, while I was away, you’ve been slacking on the icons (pie, dynamite, eyeballs, etc.) And don’t give us any of this “it’s all Wayno’s fault” crap, either — you’re captain of this particular Titanic and the arrangement of the deck chairs falls squarely on your shoulders!

    Chop chop!

    (Other than that — great stuff! :)

    Hey, while I’m in here making demands… I joined the party late and have been unable to find (though I used Google and skimmed your old blogs for a good 15 minutes!) the meaning of acronym you use for the lovely Mrs. Piraro. (Now it’s been so long I can’t even remember what it is — CWHPM or something like that.) I keep going into brainlock when I get to the “W” because it makes me think of SWMBO (pronounced “swim-bow” — she who must be obeyed) and then I can’t get off that track.

    In some soon-future blog post, can you bring us new-pickles (Jazz Cucumbers?) up to speed on this exceedingly important in-phrase?


    • The answers, in ascending order:
      CHNW stands for Crazy Half-Nekked Wife. Here is a link to the post that originated that moniker. http://www.bizarrocomics.com/?p=8
      The reason for fewer symbols lately is that CHNW and I split up and I moved from NY to LA. The cartoons you see now are the ones I was doing while the splitting/packing/traveling/hunting for a new place to live occurred. During that process, I was working hard to get ahead and created simpler drawings with fewer places to hide things. The cartoons will be back to normal in a month or so. Thanks for your patience and your inquiry. :o)

  3. Dan,

    Happy Freakin’ New Year! Hoping it is better for you in 2012. Here’s also hoping that your LA venture proves rewarding. I enjoy the blog (I only read yours and one other) so much. Can you hear Debbie Boone singing?

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