Feline Herp Loser Wrinkles


Bizarro is brought to you today by Runaway Wiener.

I got a question or two about about this cat/dog cartoon. One person wondered if the gag was that the woman is seeing a cat doctor. People who live with cats, however, will likely immediately understand that this is a depiction of a cat who is so pompous that he only sees his caregiver by appointment. Hahahahahahahahaha. (I’ve lived with many cats.)


I heard from another regular reader who didn’t understand this mime cartoon. If you are in this category, you are likely thinking too hard. The simple reasoning here is that a mime needs arms and legs to mime. Snakes do not possess these otherwise common appendages. Hahahahahaha. (I have never lived with snakes but I’ve seen pictures that support this assertion.)


I have not heard from anyone who does not get this cartoon. If you are that person, call me immediately at 202-456-1111 and I will endeavor to enlighten you.






When I drew this cartoon, I had no idea there actually is a FaceLiftBook. And apparently, it’s just what I said it is in this cartoon, which I assumed was fictional. I wish FaceLiftBook had something I wanted so I could ask for a freebie in exchange for the free advertising.

Are you going to any of my upcoming comedy shows? If the answer is “no,” change that answer!

San Francisco shows.    Mill Valley show.    Portland show.


26 thoughts on “Feline Herp Loser Wrinkles

  1. Okay, I’ve got one that I still don’t understand – I liked it, but I didn’t “get it”. It was from a long time ago, but I’m pretty sure it was yours.

    A road leads off into the distance. On one side are elephants, with people riding them. On the other side are kangaroos. There’s a guy on the side of the road, hitchhiking in the direction of the kangaroos.

    Do you recall this one? If so, any hints?

  2. I don’t know if it has anything to do with the joke, but there is a small bird upside-down under the chair in the “Cat Doctor” comic. Hahahaha. (Cats eat birds?!) Thanks for the laughs!

    • I hide small objects in many of my cartoons. The small number above my signature tells you how many to look for. They don’t actually have anything to do with the gags, although they sometimes happen to tie in somehow, like the bird/cat thing.

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  4. hi Dan! enjoyed all these! Especially the psychiatrist!!!!! OH man…story of my life…Ive had a lifetime of “you aren’t, good, talented,smart, worthy…etc. etc.. etc… enough to do that!!” Thankfully, hubby and kids and a handful of friends over the years have made me feel better.

    PLUS it gets real sickening Doing stuff (you wanted to do in the first place) with an added on ‘tude of ” F**K you ! dont tell me what i can’t do!” Cuz people say “you’ll never pull that off”

    So Mr. Dan Pirarro….. Here you’ve gone again…postin a comic that is very timely for me indeed…..

    10 Days ago I informed someone (who i really wanted their support) About an idea I had.. I was told…”your not capable of that…You could join it ..but not run it.”

    Well Today marks the 9th day of my event..posted both on FB and as a weblink.


    It is for artists!!! And Im proud to say I have 50 joined up so far!!!!

    As a side note. Im an artist and poet (albeit starving)…. I love art ..I was a teacher for 20 years and always encouraged my kids to draw…”DRAW DRAW DRAW ” as Mark Kistler would say:

    How To Draw with Mark Kistler: Cool Sharks!


    ………….When I was a child I dreamed of being an art teacher… I was admitted to the Art Specialty Program for 10-12th grades at HS… My teacher was a bitch and was always on me to drop out… (“art really isnt for you shed say”) Here’s mee (all highschooly messed up already) But i didnt want to quit… And she’d scoff “well I can’t make you quit” HRRRMMMFFG!!

    So I stayed for two years…. And I love art 4ever… My kids grew up on Mark Kistler. They had paintbrushes b4 they could walk…And I let my 2yr old son color on the walls with crayons..Then when he was older paint murals…All of us we’re always painting on walls! “Bad parenting” whispers bhind my back. Well at age 27 and 32 both kids are intelligent ,warm creative types.. and BTW Picasso colored on walls as a kid!

    So in your face… HS teacher and all the kids who laughed at my work and made mean comments…… I love art…I love creating… And you didnt take that away from me.. On the contrary,,, I learned How not to treat people and best of all have encouraged ART FOR ARTS SAKE along the way.

    And i get far better mental health services from Dan P. then A Psy(co) DR.

    “If you hear a voice inside you say ‘you cannot paint,’ Well then, BY ALL MEANS PAINT and that voice will be silenced.”

        • And look at the poor guy on the couch…His expression.. I know just how he feels….I swear they confuse u more each visit..so they can make more $$$$. Only thing missing is a detail in the ‘degree’ hanging on the wall… CERTIFIED BY A CRACKER JACK BOX

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    • Just saw it last night. I love that show. This week’s episode was very edgy and I like that, but perhaps not as laugh-out-loud funny as some of the others.

  6. Completely dying to know where that number goes too, and how many people actually think you’re unhinged enough to post you actual digits!! LOL

  7. Ohhh … though I get the cartoon, I can’t help but wonder if that’s a prank number, like the kind women give out to potential dates they don’t care for?

  8. What’s a big Daddy roth? OK now Im starting to ask questions…. I completely take back my comments from several months ago saying “why should people ask you what you mean!! You are a comic artist. We should interpret it our own way }”

    Completly retract that…….

    • Google Big Daddy Roth and you’ll find an artist from the 60s. His famous image, Rat Fink, appears on the cover of the magazine that the snake is reading.

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