You’re Not Hallucinating


(If you are among the dozens of people all over the world who want to see this image larger, do what half of them are doing all across the nation –– click the elephant!)

Bizarro is brought to you by Well Wishes.

Today, I would first like to extend my most sincere apologies for not having posted this cartoon sooner. What a excrement noggin I am for publishing a cartoon that tells people to go directly to this web site, then have nothing posted there about the reason why. I hate myself and you should, too. (Hate me, not yourself.)

So welcome to Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies #23! I you’d like to see one of your own original puns in a future edition, just leave it here in the comments section of this post.

Here are the rules and guidelines:

1. Leave your idea for a pun in the comments section of this post. You comment will not appear in the comments section of this blog, however, because I don’t like to ruin the fun for later readers if I should use it. So I post none of the comments: good, bad, or neither. I do read all of them, however.

2. Your pun must be original (to the best of your knowledge.) If I find out you’ve sent me a pun that you saw or heard somewhere, I’ll come to your house and marry your cousin. And nobody wants that kind of trouble!

3. In your comment, tell me how you’d like to be credited. You can use any name you like, real or fictional.

4. No readers who are wearing any New Jersey Devils sports clothing when they type their comment will be considered. I’m a Rangers fan and I’m still sore about the way that last game went.

That’s all there is to it, kids. Rush to your brain and yank open the door! There’s gotta be a pun in there somewhere!


22 thoughts on “You’re Not Hallucinating

  1. Pingback: You’re Not Hallucinating « Humor

  2. It took me a couple of seconds, but I got my biggest smile when I figured out what that salt shaker was doing in the middle panel. A hidden second pun (not original) – a salt and battery – so appropriate to the stated pun and perhaps an answer to the Bunnygizer’s (Ha! another one) question. Putting yourself in as the punhandler was a nice touch too. I love your subtle, often cryptic, references. Not all of them though – only the ones I actually catch!

    • Thanks for checking in, Calvin. The “salt and battery” pun is old so I didn’t want to make it a part of the caption, of course, but a little nod to the classic cliche seemed appropriate. So glad you enjoyed it. :o)

  3. First of all, let me just say that I have always admired your work, your clean humor and the bizarre touch that you add to each cartoon. It’s an honest relief to find such a thing with today’s mainstream media. I would also like to thank you for posting your work (let’s admit: most of them) and making it free to read and see. It’s a good humorous relief after a long day.

    My second thought was whether you have your books available in the Philippines. Do you? I would love to buy a copy of your latest collection but it is as if your books are hidden away in some secret chamber in our bookstores. I’d order one from Amazon but shipping and handling would probably cost more than the actual book so I resort to digging through the shops.

    Actually a few years back, we were lucky to find one in a store for secondhand books. We bought a copy of Bizarro #9 — in which I first saw your comic strips — but it’s sad to say that it’s now in bad condition. Although I did not understand some of the content there because of their pop cultural references (because I was born the same year it was publish), I still found it entertaining and interesting, especially the weird small animation at the lower part of the pages which I was most fond of.

    Again, I simply want to thank you for your nonstop posts. Although I am not a daily reader, I still love your blog and read it often. It has even inspired to start my own one. May you have more power and better health for you and CHNW!


    • Thanks for the lovely note, David. I’m very happy to hear you’re enjoying my cartoons so much. I have no idea if my books are for sale in the Philippines. I have no control over where they are distributed or sold, I just send my work to the publisher and they do the rest.

  4. 2. Your pun must be original (to the best of your knowledge.) If I find out you’ve sent me a pun that you saw or heard somewhere, I’ll come to your house and marry your cousin. And nobody wants that kind of trouble!

    You’re Mormon than I am.


  5. Love your stuff. Bought the superhero book for my son over the weekend. Part of it is the loving details; didn’t catch the salt till someone pointed it out above!

  6. Greetings, Earthling Dan. Got something that maybe you can use, if not for Sunday Punnies perhaps a regular Bizarro strip… wait, is that an oxymoron..? Anyhowever, true story: a friend of mine (Greg) was relating details of his recent trip to Mexico City. He said, “It looks just like an American city; they have McDonald’s, Burger King, Taco Bell, Home Depot…” I had to stop him there, not just because the audacity of the idea of a Taco Bell in Mexico, but my prain tripped over the Home Depot thing… I had to ask, “Are there Americans in the parking lot of Home Depot in Mexico City looking for work?” And what kind of work would their “work pimp” be hawking for them? “Hey, amigo! You need software coders? How many? I got web animators right here!” I dunno, the whole thing struck me as completely bizarro (HA!), like hailing a taxi in Tehran and the cabbie is from Newark…

    If you like the idea enough to use it, please give credit to Bill the Cat’s human. (Yes, I live with a cat named Bill. When people see us out walking (yes…) they never remember my name but they remember Bill the Cat.)

    Yer pal,


    • This is good stuff but too many people would see it as racist. These days, “society” is so sensitive to these kinds of issues that even the mention of it is forbidden. Crazy world.
      Love you Bill the Cat story. Wish I knew him. :o)

  7. Pingback: Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies | Punny Business

  8. I thought about the expression ‘You look puzzled’ but maybe you’ve already done that ;) loved your cartoons ever since I was a child.

    /Elin from Sweden

  9. I was looking through your other posts and came across a cartoon in the June 9, 2012 section that was similar to a joke I made up a few years ago. I was surprised by how close it was to mine. Just thought I’d tell you.

  10. Walking the dog this morning, it was sunny and too hot for an old black dog. My wife said that next time she would bring one of her pair-a-sauls along but may a couple of old jewish guys wouldn’t help that much.

    I haven’t read every Sunday Punnies, but if you use it, her name is Julie Fisher.

    And Dan, thanks for all of the laughs along the way.


    • The rabbit appears twice: once in the first frame in white, then again in the second frame in just about the same place but in a different position and in pink. Thanks for playing our game, drive safely!

  12. well I thought you could do something with “monsters coming out of the closet” because little kids are afraid of monsters coming out of the closet, but it can also mean that you are gay…just an idea…

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