Death Midget Carrion Comedy

(To view this cartoon larger, click the coxswain’s head.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Four Horsemen of the Legopalypse.

People on championship rowing teams are in great shape. Maybe even better shape than I am from sitting at my computer all day. But it stands to reason that after they retire, most of them get as fat and lazy as any other top notch athlete. Unlike many sports that have Hall of Fame Games, rowing isn’t something that old fat guys can do without a lot of effort. Luckily in this case, the coxswain is still slender enough to fit into the tiny seat at the back. (It’s not often you get use “coxswain” in a sentence. That was fun.)

 

The only thing I have to say about this cartoon is aren’t tiny doctors cute?

 

 

 

 

I’m not a fan of neighborhood associations. I’ve never lived in a house with one, but I don’t think I’d like it. It sounds good in theory, but it is my experience that anytime humans get a little authority, they want more. At first the neighborhood association is just making someone get rid of that broken down car in their front yard, but before you know it they’re controlling what kind of tree you can plant on your property, how many stories you can add to your house without a building permit, and whether or not you can build an underground dungeon in your backyard. It just gets to be too much. So, no thanks.

FYI: I’m doing a 15-minute set of stand-up comedy in Los Angeles this coming Wednesday night, October 3, 2012 at 8pm.

I’ll be part of the lineup of a very popular show called “The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail” at NerdMelt Showroom, 7522 Sunset Blvd. There will be 7 or 8 other stand-up comics, too, so come down and enjoy the show. Afterward, we can meet and I’ll sell you a book or sign something you have or take a picture with you or just pretend I’m not hurt that you’re completely ignoring me. More info here.

Here’s a facsimile of what I’ll look like on stage, except the background won’t have a Caroline’s Comedy Club logo. Even if you don’t think I’m funny, the other comics will be great.

 

17 thoughts on “Death Midget Carrion Comedy

  1. Pingback: Death Midget Carrion Comedy « Humor

  2. I’m glad I don’t live in a neighborhood governed by a neighborhood ass’n. I’ve heard horrendously true stories from some unfortunates who do. But in the case of this comic, I’m not in a hurry to move next door to them!

  3. Pingback: Death Midget Carrion Comedy « What I see, what I feel, what I'd like to see…

  4. Not sure which would be worse, neighborhood associations or neighborhood vultures. Some years ago I visited a friend who lived in New Paltz, NY. In walking the neighborhood I saw a house with a flat roof with two tripods on that roof. Hanging from each tripod was a dead vulture! Here’s the full story about how wonderful it is to have vultures in your neighborhood and how, with the help of your tax payer dollars, one home owner in New Paltz had to solve his vulture problem.

    http://lancemannion.typepad.com/lance_mannion/2009/03/vultures-in-the-neighborhood.html

    or http://tinyurl.com/d38eea

  5. I would have understood the little doctor one if the lady had said “Aww” first, prompting the doctor to say “no, say AH”

    Great stuff! Huge fan!

  6. Wow, strange coincidence. The charming-albeit-morbid blogger behind The Order of the Good Death just recently posted real and gruesome photos of what a sky burial is actually like. I don’t advise tracking the post down unless you’ve got a strong stomach.

  7. It confused me for a minute when you said ‘Neighborhood Association’, I’m more used to the term ‘Homeowner’s Association’ (perhaps it’s a regional term?) – here in Portland, OR, we have Neighborhood Associations which act as advocates for each neighborhood to the city government – they don’t have dues, don’t regulate your home (or neighborhood), and are actually pretty cool!

  8. Although I collect Noah’s Ark cartoons (and you’ve had some great ones), I love this one. I have a new mystery novel out in November called THE BUZZARD TABLE and while I was writing it, I wanted to pick up roadkill and feed the buzzards in our lower field. For some reason, my husband objected. Strenuously.

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