My Last Post Ever


Well, Jazz Pickles, these last few years of blogging have been an incredible ride. I’ve had such fun sharing my thoughts, ideas, photos, and cartoons with you and your responses have been a great inspiration to me. But all good things must come to an end and this is my last post ever.

I am sorry if this distresses or disappoints you but soon you won’t care. Once the world ends (sometime tomorrow) we’ll all be thrust into oblivion and nothing will matter. As Mark Twain once said, “I was dead for billions of years before I was born and it didn’t inconvenience me in the slightest.” I take great comfort in that idea.

Here, for your last minute amusement, are two of my cartoons about the Maya Apocalypse.  (Yes, I know the calender depicted is Aztec, but cartoons are about using common vernacular to get the joke across, not accuracy.)  You may notice this first one is from 2009. It seems the Mayas are not the only ones who had predictive abilities.

The second cartoon is based on the assumption that if the world does not end on December 21st, the Mayas will be disappointed. If it does happen, however, every other religion will be disappointed that their version of a world-crushing, torturous apocalypse that causes the suffering, misery and death of billions of nonbelievers wasn’t true.

Most people find it tough to be wrong, though I don’t mind it so much. I’ve not been right in my life often enough to have developed a taste for it.

Happy oblivion, Jazz Pickles!


45 thoughts on “My Last Post Ever

  1. I will assume that your delightfully warped sense of humor vis-à-vis* the current end-of-the-world scare is responsible for you calling this your “last post ever”, in which case I offer a hearty guffaw. If, on the other hand, you’re being totally serious, I’m gonna totally miss these posts.

    (*I don’t get to use that phrase very often, so thank you for the opportunity.)


  2. Brilliant comics as always. Point of clarification, however, the Maya are not predicting the end of the world, this is an interpretation offered by whoever likes see people proved wrong or see the worst in every situation. The Maya in their calendar are viewing the end of one era and the beginning of another. This too is open to interpretation as to what that means. For those who choose to view the world optimistically it’s a time of celebration. For those who prefer a more pessimistic view of the world it is a time for cynicism. The choice is ultimately up to each person how they want to mark this transition recorded by the Maya in their observations of the cycles of time.

    • This is an interesting book on the topic: 2012 and the End of the World: The Western Roots of the Maya Apocalypse, by Matthew Restall and Amara Solari. Quoting right from this review:

      Mel Gibson’s Apocalypto aside, the authors argue, the evidence for a Maya cultural obsession with end times and death is pretty much nil—until, that is, after the arrival of the conquistadors. The Spaniards, on the other hand, were heirs to a long-established strain of millenarianism, the belief in a coming societal transformation. In Western thought, the idea stretches back to early Jewish eschatology and reaches a fever pitch with medieval Christianity.

      Inflamed by the hellfire preaching of Joachim of Fiore and Girolamo Savonarola (not to mention the wildly popular woodcuts of Albrecht Dürer), the Franciscan friars dispatched to convert the New World brought their millenarianism along with them, placing a terrifying Last Judgment at the heart of their evangelism.

      First, they conquered the Aztecs, touting Cortés as agent of the New Jerusalem. Next, they traveled to Yucatan to missionize the Maya, their early efforts culminating in the harrowing Mani Inquisition of 1562. That millenarian themes pop up in Maya literature of the period, then, is not surprising. The Maya grafted apocalyptic Christian elements onto these colonial-era documents, the authors say, as a way of processing the apocalypse they themselves were undergoing at the hands of the Spanish invaders.

      However, even with the “grafted apocalyptic Christian elements” appearing in the colonial-era, December 21st, 2012 wasn’t really named anywhere. The Long Count date of (December 21st, 2012, in the Gregorian calendar, if using the 584,283 correlation constant), as far as I recall from the book (which I don’t have here with me) only appears on one inscription found in one place which was almost destroyed by the building of a cement factory- and this inscription only sounds like a disastrous event depending on how it is translated. Also, there are other dates later than appearing elsewhere. Sooo… it’s not like there were ancient, divinely inspired inscriptions everywhere in their pre-colonial culture predicting the end of the world on this exact date. A lot of people in these modern times wanted to believe things about stuff, and justified these beliefs as being “Maya prophecies”.

  3. Well–lucky for me I’ll have u every day in the Tampa Bay Times paper—-but, man—I’ll really miss ur blogs!! I hate to admit this, but sometimes I–ah–don’t quite “get” one or 2—-and all I have todo is hit ur blog and you kindly explain them. I’m 87 and a devoted “jazz pickle”!! See–not ALL ur fans are “those damn hippies!!” Tee-hee!! And it’s rare I don’t “get” it! Just love you–save you for the end of the paper!!

      • Betty and I both read you in the Tampa Bay Times. Obviously, Florida loves you and we actually have an Improv in Tampa. If the world doesn’t explode, you should keep that in mind for your next live gig. Plus, all the deranged people and serial killers hide down here, so think of the potential material (although the crowd might be a little tough…)

      • PHEW!!!! You had me seriously worried!! I’m in New Zealand and not dead, by the way, so I guess the apocalypse either isn’t happening, or it’s waiting for the US to wake up. You’re blog has been so wonderful over the last few years, the end of the world is a good opportunity again to say thanks for all the laughter!

  4. My birthday is December 22nd. Normally, it’s too close to Christmas to throw a party. This year it’s too close to Apocalypse. Either way, I still won’t get my damn party.

  5. (And even back when the Earth was flat, pre-puberty, the Earth had “endS”; as in “I’ll chase you down if I have to go to the ENDS of the earth”, not AN end.)

  6. Ha. You had me going there for a second.

    But just in case, like Tom, I’ll take this opportunity to thank you for years of world-class entertainment and enlightenment.

  7. In reply to your quoting, Mark Twain , “I was dead for billions of years before I was born and it didn’t inconvenience me in the slightest.” Friedrich Nietzsche wast a bit more cerebral, “life is but a meaningless interruption, of peaceful non-existence” Do people in the media stay up late, and think of hoaxes to start flying around? Y2K is the most successful one of them all.

  8. My dad has been a believer of this end of the world and Nibaru.My Mom’s birthday is the same day.Last month I told him to get her a present anyway,because if the end of the world doesn’t happen and he doesn’t have her present,it will still be over for him.Dan,if this is really your last blog,I will always wonder if it was something I said.Regards.

  9. Bye, Dan. Thanks for all the laughs and snerks.

    Beautiful depiction of the Aztec calendar… you forgot the semi-circle over the third squiggle on the left. [It’s only appropriate to go out with one last grammar trollism . . . ]

  10. Arrivederci sayonara au revoir bonsoir

    How many ways can I say goodbye {good bye} goodbye {good bye} goodbye {good bye}

    Goodbye so long goodbye

    Cory Lee


  11. “Once the world ends (sometime tomorrow) we’ll all be thrust into oblivion and nothing will matter.”

    Funny, for a second there, I almost thought you were referring to the fiscal cliff.

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  13. Just a thought:

    December 21st is different from one side of the world to the other side. So One side will be destroyed first and the other side will be later? Is that the logic? Weird…

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  15. you are brilliant thanks for sharing and seeing as we’re all still here… raise a glass (clink) to toast our beautiful world, from this morning on let’s all look after our earth and all the sentient and non sentient beings that share this third rock from the sun!

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