Thoughtful Companions

bz panel 05-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Super Powers.

I recently saw a short video of a so-called “pet pychic” visiting an animal sanctuary, and it inspired this cartoon. As Penn and Teller have been telling us for decades, there is no such thing as magic. The human mind is constructed in such a way that it can be made to believe almost anything with a little misdirection. Psychics of all kinds have played on this trait since human societies first formed, as have con men, magicians, evangelists, mediums, astrologers, wizards, etc.

You’re welcome to buy into these kinds of fantasies if you like––most of us enjoy believing in magic*––but I’ve found that the real universe is plenty fascinating enough and full of and endless supply of incomprehensible wonder to keep my brain inspired. That’s not to say that I don’t enjoy magic acts; I do. I’m not keen, however, on people who charge others to tell them what their pets are thinking. It’s fraud and it’s not even clever. How could you possibly be proven wrong?

I, on the other hand, actually do have a supernatural skill, and that is reading the thoughts of your furniture. If you’re interested in your furniture’s opinion about your lounging habits, or where it would rather be in a room, I can tell you all you need to know from a simple photo of your home. It’s pricey, but your furniture deserves your attention. For an appointment, call 1-800-IWillBelieveJustAboutAnything.

*Zodiac, miracles, psychic abilities, visions, premonitions, religion, prophetic dreams, fate, etc.

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26 thoughts on “Thoughtful Companions

  1. Back when I was in high school I worked at a video store owned by a woman who was always trying one get-rich-quick scheme after another. Many years later I was watching a Penn & Teller’s B*llshit! episode and was utterly gobsmacked to see my old boss on the show, purporting to be a pet psychic. In the three years I worked for her, she never once mentioned this “talent.” Funny, that.

  2. Mr. Piraro, I’m fascinated by clarity in image and word. It’s a trait I do not seem to possess. I have trouble getting from A to B all the time. Maybe this is why writers and writing are so amazing to me. This cartoon and the accompanying text illustrate this. It’s pretty amazing how much you can pack into a single frame and a few paragraphs. I was having a lousy day and then I saw this pop up on FB. Thanks for bringing some clarity into a murky day.

  3. I have to part company with you, respectfully. I’ll be the first to agree that snake oil abounds in the world of telepathy and related psychic phenomena. Yet I personally know animal telepaths who are honest people with carefully-developed genuine abilities to do what they claim to do. Obviously, the fruits of their labors are difficult to prove; yet I’ve seen clear results of their work which cannot be satisfactorily proved otherwise. I won’t bore you with details… so let’s just agree to disagree, if we must.

    • Tim -

      Can their achievements be replicated under laboratory conditions? If not, it unfortunately counts as hearsay and can be discounted as such. (If so, James Randi’s $1 million prize is still available.)

      Just because someone is convinced that their talent is legitimate doesn’t mean that it actually IS legitimate. (See: Every faith healer in the world.)

      • I was going to mention James Randi – that prize is still out there…all these quacks & whack-a-doodles have to do is prove their claims under scientific scrutiny. Sadly, all they seem to be willing to do is part fools and their money. Bravo, Dan, as always!

    • I communicate with septic tanks; they tell me when they’re full.

      Let me talk with yours. Donations accepted.

      Lou Stoole

      Septic Psychic

        • TimBo: HAHAHA! You rock!

          Seriously though, if you’re ever in Brownsville, Texas, stop by the office and we’ll go out and see what the septic tanks have to tell us. Look into the abyss, I like to say.

          If it doesn’t kill us, it will make us smelly. Some German named Fred said that. It’s true. Bring a change of clothes for afterwards.

  4. It really all depends on nutrition. If you feed your pet psychic something ordinary, like Purina Psychic Chow, your psychic won’t be able to do many tricks, and all of them will be quite ordinary. However, if you opt for a feed containing 4-leaf clovers and magic mushrooms, you’ll be amazed how clairvoyantly your pet psychic performs, particularly if you share in the meal.

  5. Just thought of sending you this as soon as I finished reading it, it’s not my idea though, I found it on this reddit (http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1d2v7i/parents_of_reddit_what_is_the_creepiest_thing/) credit to the OP or his 3-year-old for that matter.

    olafthebent 2469 points 12 days ago

    “So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire?”

    3 year old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time.

    s0tcrates 1914 points 12 days ago

    “eh, why don’t you just give me that baby back.”

    olafthebent 1133 points 12 days ago

    Which is EXACTLY what I said… lol

    • I couldn’t imagine what these comments were about until I clicked the link. It’s hilarious, creepy, and incredibly addicting reading. Thanks!

  6. >>>>>>>>>>I, on the other hand, actually do have a supernatural skill, and that is reading the thoughts of your furniture.

    Which, needless to say, gives you a leg up on the rest of us rugs.

  7. Belief is a “funny” thing. Anytime I see the word psychic joined with another word, I immediately think SCAM. I suppose it’s human nature to believe in things…especially if there is a vested interest or hopeful outcome attached to that particular belief. That said, I really could use a good “couch whisperer”.

  8. Pingback: The Orange Co. :: This Pet Psychic Tells the Truth

  9. It’s actually a nice and helpful piece of information. I’m happy that you simply shared this useful information with us. Please stay us informed like this. Thanks for sharing.

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