Slap Stick


bz panel 06-04-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Devil’s Food.

Coffee is a pretty old drink, I think, but I often wonder how humans got started in the morning before it was invented. Did they chew plants with a natural stimulative? Did they jump into a cold river first thing to have a pee and wake the hell up? Or did they wake up with such fear of being eaten or starving to death that they were immediately awake? Your theories are welcome. Perhaps there’s a cartoon idea in there somewhere.

This gag is a collaboration with my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. Check out what he has to say about it on his entertaining blogapalooza.

And here, my e-friends, is the strip strip 06-04-13


22 thoughts on “Slap Stick

  1. Pingback: Slap Stick | Wholeheartedness

  2. So I have two stupid questions.

    1. You do two formats every day? I must’ve missed the post about that. I can guess why, I just had no idea!

    2. Do you have a font in your handwriting that you guys use? It looks like it. With various versions of the same letter. Fancy!

  3. I have always wondered where somebody got the idea to grind up beans, pour hot water through them and then drink what comes out.

  4. Do you hand-letter or type the lettering? If it’s a computer font, it’s pretty fancy as the two ‘s’es at the end of ‘espresso’ are not identical …

    • how funny, it appears that you’ve gotten at least 3 questions about the lettering in the last few days. :) yours is definitely done better than any other strip I can think of.

  5. Maybe one of those birds from The Flintstones, with a rope strapped from the tail. They would pull the rope and the feathered fella would scream-to-wakeup.

  6. Well, as someone who uses NO caffeine….. and as someone who uses 12 grams of high-octane cannabis each day…. and also as someone who gets up early and fresh each day….

    wait…. what was the question…..?

  7. Pingback: Sometimes Coffee Just Isn’t Enough | The Orange Co.

  8. Y’know, I’m looking at wikipedia entries on various comics, and it baffles me why Bizarro is said to be in only 350 papers, in comparison to some other comics out there, both good and bad.

    Family Circus: 1900

    Hagar (mostly unfunny, and totally a “zombie” comic): 1900

    Get Fuzzy (which I like a lot): 700

    Pearls Before Swine (another favorite): 600

    Dilbert (which I think is mostly good, but seems to be getting old and repetitive): 2000

    Garfield (I find it funny sometimes, and did as a kid, but seems totally past its sell-by date): 2580

    Your art and your jokes are far superior to most of those. When I read the comics in my local paper, the top 4 I read first are: Bizarro, Pearls Before Swine, Get Fuzzy, and then maybe Frazz or something.

    I just find it hard to believe that your numbers aren’t up there at least on par with “Pearls” … as to Garfield, Hagar, etc., I guess I can chalk that up to the conservatism of the newspaper business. Sigh. Sad but true. So many good comics out there, and yet so much space is wasted on these strips way past their heyday — Beetle Bailey, Hagar, Blondie. Not that they’re never funny at all, but they’re clearly not on the same level as Bizarro.

    Anyhow, I’m glad that at least here in Albuquerque, NM, they have chosen to print your strip, otherwise I’d probably never have seen it.

    P.S. – in 2006 or so, I photocopied your Christmas strip of the manger scene where it says “and remember, the main point is to increase shopping” (paraphrase from memory) and used it for Christmas cards … it was brilliant. :)

    Thanks for all you do.

    • and you’ve been around longer than many of those! But in your case, I’m glad you’re still at it … Bizarro never seems to have acquired that stale feeling of so many other long-running strips.

      • Only recently, when I heard how many papers publish your witty, artistic and now and again challenging cartoons, I thought that was a good number and felt a bit better about people. Now — thanks to Aaron! — I learn that the most mediocre comics reach a far wider audience!

        People’s tendency to mediocrity is understandable to some degree — you live in a social comfort zone that way! You always have your favorite music on the radio, you can buy your novels and self-help-books from the supermarket book stand and get more weight on your bones at McDonald’s while your mind stagnates or dwindles. And no one will ever think you’re weird!

        But boy, it’s dull! Hear me, people? — YOU’RE DULL!!! (Well, the ones I am screaming at won’t read Dan’s blog; so, sorry folks, you can take the earplugs out again, I’ll lower my voice … )

        The funny pages in newspapers have forever proofed in far too many ways (people like Gary Larson were exceptions!) that they might deserve the name “page”, but not “funny”. Bizarro helps bringing back the “funny”. And what wimps who think his cartoons are too offensive? — YOU are offensive in your INDIFFERENCE! — YOU MAKE ME WANT TO … Oh, forgot, they won’t hear me…

  9. Hi Dan,

    I don’t have a good cartoon idea following your premise!

    In fact, what I have here for you is clearly not worth being a Bizarro cartoon.

    It might give you a chuckle anyway!

    I picture the “coffee – and donut” stand of a caveman. I just thought about a time before either coffee, nor wheels! So the coffee – and donut stand offers “black water that will make you pee” and donuts. The sign shows a perfect wheel (donut!); yet his stand — he might awkwardly be pulling it — only has a four – or five sided figure for a “wheel”.

    If it doesn’t rain grand pianos on me in the near future, I’ll come up with a totally different, non coffee related, but funnier cartoon idea!

    Have a wonderful stay at Yosemite (don’t tell the bears you know me; it won’t do you any good)!

  10. Pingback: Morning Jolt |

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