Shrinkage

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bz panel 07-08-13bz strip 07-08-13Bizarro is inflicted on you today by Magical Foods.

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I love psychotherapy. I don’t love the expense so I can’t go every week; I simply visit one for a few weeks or months when I’m having a specific problem in my life. Like the time a few years ago when I couldn’t decide between growing a ridiculous mustache or getting giant breast implants. A shrink helped me make the right decision.

Most people don’t know where the term “shrink” came from. The fascinating story behind this is that the brilliant father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, realized that the reason people have psychological problems is that their head is too large and the extra room inside allows their brain to bounce around, causing emotional distress. He tried various methods of shrinking the head (hot water, freeze-drying) but could never perfect it and was losing patients right and left. Eventually he realized that if you stuff enough cotton into your ears, it will fill up the extra space, hold the brain still, and voila; no more brain bouncing. So “shrink” is actually a misnomer. We should be calling them “stuffers.”Bz print color 11-05-04

On the same topic, here’s an old Bizarro shrink cartoon that I still really like.

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14 thoughts on “Shrinkage

  1. Ooooh-kay …

    I’m pretty new to your universe, Mr Piraro, sir, so … I’ll just ask. Why is there a piece of pie under the couch, and a stick of dynamite under the chair? are these secret code items?

  2. Imagine going through life with a name like Lou Stoole.

    And being in the septic business.

    Lotsa folks would call it a lowdown dirty shame. I call it free advertising.

    And I charge clients extra if I remember they laughed at my name in school.

    Lou Stoole Septic

    Brownsville, TX

    “Got Poo?”

  3. If I were a cartoonist, I’d draw myself on the Horns of a Dilemma, to illustrate my indecisiveness about whether to comment here, or at the Facebook version of the cartoon, where an effort is made to snatch my copyright, according to one correspondent of mine. Naturally, I made reference to my general claim that “any and all purported agreements made by me are subject to the condition that all terms be fair and reasonable, else invalid, and that any use of the internet by a party asserting contractual arrangements by me shall be considered agreement to such amendment of those purported contracts”. Oh, well, I’ll just postpone deciding . . .

  4. Okay, so I just noticed that in both the old and new shrink gags, the secret items are the slice of pie and the dynamite. Yet these two panels are separated by about 8 1/2 years. Coincidence or psychic phenomena?

    • Neither. I’ve been using the same ten-or-so secret items for years so they end up appearing in similar places and such. Now the secret is out.

  5. Some teeny weeny thoughts (minefield of puns ahead!):

    On an overpopulated planet such as ours, there’s a real shortage of shrinks like that! Problems like e.g. pollution would be way smaller, once we were all tiny! And one cow could feed so many non-vegetarians! — If they’d find a dude to kill the giant beast!

    But then again: Who is going to shrink the shrink in the end? Once he’s GODzilla, we’d have more than a little problem with him!

    And once we’re shrunk, who’d ever go to see a shrink again? — I hear mini Bob Dylan sing (maybe with Tom Petty to back him up): “Don’t Shrink Twice, It’s All Right!”

    • Kurt Vonnegut wrote a book called “Slapstick” in which the Chinese rule the world because they figured out a way to shrink themselves, thus increasing their resources many fold. A great idea.

      • I haven’t read “Slapstick”, Dan. I’ve also not seen the movie the book was turned into (starring Jerry Lewis). However I’ve traveled the US a bit and I’ve traveled Asia a bit — and I am afraid to tell you: those guys are on their way to rule the world already! They are so much smaller than you! Next time I go over there, I’ll even turn down some of them in size dramatically if I don’t watch my step! Their power will be overwhelming! Whereas the last time I’ve been to the US — whole other story! The people who stood in line of some burger places alone, just to give you an example, appeared to be total losers — at least according to the premise!

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