Better Half


bz panel 08-30-13magicianbz strip 08-30-13magicianThis Bizarro is brought to you by Dating Don’ts.

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a magician died in the middle of his act, just after sawing a lovely lady in two but before he puts her back together again? I have spent a lot of time wondering about this and several things have occurred to me:

1) Her bottom half would die because it no longer has a heart. What would the gravestone for someone’s hips and legs read?

2) What would happen to liquid and solid waste? Would it just fall out the bottom of her? Gross.

3) She would save a lot on gynecological exams.


I’m sure there’s some info on the Intertubes about this somewhere but I’m too busy battling deadlines to look it up. Please share if you know anyone who this has happened to.


bz print 08-01-03 INVISIBLEgumPREZARROS: I couldn’t come up with an old magician gag right quick like so I chose this one about the invisible man. Invisibility is sort of a magic trick.


15 thoughts on “Better Half

  1. Did you mean to misspell disgusting in the invisible man cartoon? Also, your train of thought on the first cartoon is one I can relate to after having seen the movie ‘Office Space’. I think random thoughts like that often. Kindred spirits? Heck, yeah!

    • A man with that disorder went to my college. He was Hell on wheels in his wheelchair- just incredibly fast and maneuverable. He was also quite skilled on his hands. It made me wish I could detach my legs when I didn’t need them!

  2. Eeeeuuuu…….it was almost ok until Ur 3things..that’s when it tipped over into the bottomless pit of “do we really want to go there?” BTW, what does Ur girlfriend think of this, or does she read these tomes to cultural comedic archives?

    • My LadyFriend (we’re both too old to call each other “girlfriend” and “boyfriend”) reads all of my posts but she’s used to the way I think so she doesn’t raise an eyebrow. She wouldn’t be dating me if she didn’t appreciate my unorthodox view of things. :o)

  3. Haha …. Loved the cartoon … Been a huge fan of yours since a very long time now … And have made it a habit to check the blog almost daily …. Love your cartoons …

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