Impending Gore

bz panel 10-25-13bz strip 10-25-13Bizarro is brought to you today by This Bizarro Cartoon.

It’s almost Halloween here in the United States so here are a couple of cartoons to help get you in the mood. For my foreign readers, Halloween is a holiday during which Americans celebrate evil, violence, and superstition by wearing clothing and accessories that are intended to disgust, frighten, or amuse others. And, like all holidays, we add alcoholic beverages to heighten the experience. Often, we will dress our children in similarly grotesque or fanciful outfits and send them out after dark to beg for food at the homes of strangers.

bz panel 10-26-13bz strip 10-26-13At first, people were just like, “Why are all these bloody, deformed children knocking on my door tonight, asking for free stuff?” But then they were like, “Well, since we can’t stop them from coming, let’s just give them sugary food that will make them fat and rot their teeth. That will teach them.”  And a tradition was born.

 

 

 

I’m currently in Texas visiting my daughters, Krapuzar and Krelspeth, and their gentleman callers, Krent and Klarf, respectively. They are BIG Halloween celebrants and throw a rump-thumping costume party every year. This year’s shindig is tonight so the four of them are scurrying around taking care of the final details, of which there are plenty. They decorate the place as elaborately as one of those commercial haunted houses and it looks great. And all of this on a middle-class budget. It’s quite impressive. I’ll be getting my costume ready as soon as I’m done with this post. This year I’ll be Kim Kardashian’s child, which is the scariest thing I could think of.

bz 09-05-01 gravestones

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BIZARROLD: This old thing is from 2001 and though it isn’t meant to be “halloweeny,” it does feature a graveyard, so that’s something at least.

 

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22 thoughts on “Impending Gore

    • I will post pics of my costume, but it wasn’t actually “Kardasian’s child”. I just said that because I thought it was funny. :^}

  1. I’m wearing a toga covered in multicolored dead leaves and carrying a rake… I’m going as the Fall of the Roman Empire. Might make for a funny cartoon…

  2. it isn’t meant to be “halloweeny”…?

    Hey, one of the most horrifying costumes I saw at a Halloween party, was “Motivational Speaker”…

  3. This has never happened to me, before (that’s what he said), but I don’t get your cartoon, today…unless you’re trying to suggest that werewolves, because they are so hairy, have anti-goatees instead of regular ones? I wasn’t sure if I was missing something there or not.

    <3

    • You got it right. People often ask me if there is more to a joke, which is my own fault for leading readers down rabbit holes so much. In this case, there’s no more to the gag. :^}

  4. Happy Halloween! although we in Israel do not celebrate this silly holiday, we like the customs and the horror-movies related to it :)

    i liked the old bizarro this time! the motivational speakers cemetery sounds like a great start-up! and i’m getting right into it! :)

    thanks and happy holidays!

    ori

  5. I was hoping that you would treat your readers by resolving the issue of whether the proper word order is “treat or trick”, rather than the reverse, and since you didn’t I tried to trick you by posting this box empty, as a sort of ghostly comment, but the commentary program refused to allow my gambit. So get your own trick.

    • Never thought about that, but you’re right. Which reminds me of a phrase that has never made sense to me –– “Have your cake and eat it, too”. Until I read that the original phrase was “Eat your cake and have it, too,” which is, in fact, something one cannot do, which is what the phrase is used to describe.

    • I think maybe that shows up on all of them at first because I read the comments before posting them. Did it appear on the final version posted on the site? If so, that’s some totally creepy computer voodoo, man.

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