Flathead Funnies


bz panel 10-28-13bz strip 10-28-13bz panel 10-29-13bz strip 10-29-13Bizarro is brought to yourself today by Albert Frank Einstein.

Since I’m behind on the blog this week, this is another omnibus posting. Sorry about that, JPs.

It’s Halloween week here in Southern California so I’m using gags about scary monsters that I’ve been saving all year. My buddy, Dan McConnell thinks up a lot of monster gags so he may be disproportionately represented this week. Oh! Here’s one now; Frankenstein shoe shopping. McC may have gotten this idea from a gay Halloween parade, which are the best kinds of Halloween parades there are, in my heterosexual opinion.









This vampire cartoon another one of my comments on the growing obesity problem in America. I just visited Oklahoma last week and I swear, you could fit all of the people there who are not 25% overweight (including children!) in a minivan. It’s insane. And it’s not about carbs, people, it’s about fat: too much fried food, animal flesh, dairy, sugar, all of which your body stores as fat because you almost can’t help eating more than your body can use. Vegans eat TONS of carbs and we don’t get fat. (Except those of us who eat too many fried carbs, which are as fattening as anything else.) Whatever, eat what you want but please don’t expect me to pay for your bypass surgery and diabetes drugs.bz panel 10-30-13bz strip 10-30-13








My more memory-gifted Jazz Pickles may remember this same organ-donor-frankenstein setup from a gag I did back in August. My known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, came up with an alternative line for that same cartoon which I think is pretty good, so here it is again. Here’s a link to the previous one.

And here is Wayno’s blog post about this collaboration, which has a sort of funny story behind it. I hope it makes you smile with every lip on your face.








PREZARROS: From the musty, damp, archival dungeon at Bizarro International Headquarters, I offer this Sunday cartoon from 2012. I still really love this idea and the art I managed to cough up for it. I was “in the zone” the day I drew this, I guess, because I still like it a year and a half later. I hope it does not displease you.Bizarro 03-18-12 WEB


24 thoughts on “Flathead Funnies

  1. Love the gags as usual, but to wax poetic and political for a moment on your comment about “Whatever, eat what you want but please don’t expect me to pay for your bypass surgery and diabetes drugs.” Dan, my friend, you now have no choice.

  2. I love the “Who, What, and Where Wolves!” Reminds me of the funny film about “Who’s On First” of which I cannot remember if it was Laurel and Hardy? Something to do with bases at a Baseball Diamond. Classic!

  3. Hi, Dan. Just a reminder that sugar is a carb. But, I’ll be willing to bet that the carbs you eat are not the over-processed carbs that most Americans consume. Do you eat a lot of white bread? I also heard that overcooked pasta is not good for you either. Although I’m not ready to become a vegan, I am changing my diet to include a lot more vegetables than before. My doctor says I’m “pre-diabetic” (and I’m not overweight) and should cut down on carbs; she indicated white rice and pasta. I’m Chinese; the rice has to stay (but in smaller amounts)!

    • I don’t eat many processed foods, you’re right. If rice was causing diabetes, there wouldn’t be nearly so many people in Asia. :^}

  4. Half expected to find a vampire version of Batman and the “werewolf gag” in Young Frankenstein”:

    Inga: Werewolf!

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Werewolf?

    Igor: There.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: What?

    Igor: There, wolf. There, castle.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Why are you talking that way?

    Igor: I thought you wanted to.

    Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No, I don’t want to.

    Igor: [shrugs] Suit yourself. I’m easy.

    SenseiC bows out.

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