Bizarro is brought to you today by Dead Sexy.
The rodeo-clown-pants fad has long been a favorite target of mine. When young men first started wearing baggy pants falling down below their butts, I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I’d ever seen (and I was right) and I thought that given the unadulterated stupidity of it, and the inconvenience of shuffling around town with your pants half down as though you were using the toilet when the fire alarm went off, I thought the fad would pass quickly. (I was wrong.) By my unofficial calculations, these pants have been in style now for around 20 years. We now have an entire generation of children who will grow up thinking it is normal to wear comically-huge pants. It may be a sign of the apocalypse. So the idea of an international organization that provides belts to baggy-drawered boys is an appealing idea. Not that they would use them. (My apologies if I have offended any Jazz Pickles who wear comically-huge pants. You may make fun of my mustache if you like.)
And here is a cartoon about everyone’s favorite subject: DRUGS! Honestly, the holidays in my family were not nearly as much fun as they are now before the invention of Prozac. A generous helping of marijuana can make the holidays go down easier, too. So I’ve heard.
BIZARRCHIVES: Here’s an oldy-but-goody from 1999 that tells the same story in a different way. I really dislike the character art in this one but it is what it is so there you go. No sense crying over spilt cliches.