Surreal Santa


Bizarro 12-25-11 Hedr WEBBizarro 12-22-13 WEBbz panel 12-21-13bz strip 12-21-13(To enlarge any image, click upon it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Party Attire.

As I write this, I am in hour 30 of a Bulimia-style crash diet during which I have been ejecting all food and liquid from my body through my mouth with great discomfort. I also have the accompanying aches and pains of such a condition, making me feel as though I’ve been thrown from a speeding car. So I’ll keep this brief.

The title panel above was doctored from an actual department store Santa photo of my sister and I with some strange man in the 1961. This is not the title panel that appeared with my Sunday cartoon today, however. This is.

Today’s Santa cartoon features some fairly complex art that I think turned out pretty well. The interesting thing about snow is that when it is smooth, there’s nothing quicker and easier to draw. When it’s been trampled on, there are few things more complex to try to draw. I think this snow turned out pretty well for what it is. The reindeer turned out well, too, and if you look closely, you will see one of them sampling the nearly omnipresent “slice of pie.”

I will conclude today’s post with yesterday’s cartoon. I was too sick to even remember where my computer was, much less how to operate it, so it didn’t get posted.

One nice thing about puking your guts up for a day or two is that you get in really good shape. I’ve lost weight, and I’ve got a rock-hard six pack. The rest of me looks like a Halloween decoration, however.


41 thoughts on “Surreal Santa

  1. Thanks for the cartoons and get well soon! The idea that stone age people celebrated Christmas is a joke in itself. Then again, didn’t the Flintstones have a Christmas episode?

  2. I feel your pain! Thursday night, I dined with a friend at a Portuguese restaurant. I ate a stuffedclam whole that I believe was frozen & never cooked. Montezuma’s Revenge kicked in within hours. I ejected from both ends for nearly 24 hours. For the next 2 days, it’s only been diarrhea – but I’m getting better. No fever, no other flu-ish symptoms. I hope you recover quickly. BTW I’ve lost 5 pounds. Not a good way to lose weight….

  3. Remember that Pine-Sol is not a substitute for that Christmas tree smell. Hope some parts feel better than others. Get well soon.

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  5. I have always admired your intelligent wit and artistic talent. Your ability to keep fans laughing as you are puking your guts out makes you (in my eyes) an amazing human being. Please take care of yourself, hydrate and replace those lost electrolytes, so that you may keep on being.

  6. My friend, hero, and admiree, you have my wishes to get well soon and thoroughly, however vain such wishes might be, floating somewhere in the cosmos without much in the way of consequence.

  7. Appreciated this one, as a celiac-er. Can digest so few cartoons.

    Nicely done art on both of these.

    Coincidentally, ginger is good for nausea. Chamomile can calm it down.

    Get well soon.

  8. Holy Harry’s Houdini! Best wishes for rapid return to the Daily Doodle . Illness sucks, as we all know, so, gotta say your posting is above and beyond the call of cartoony duty. My hat’s off and a salute unto youse. Us JPs appreciate your zany, indefatigable devotion to doin’ it, no matter what.

  9. Sorry to hear about the illness. Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery!

    And yes, the snow is well-rendered–nicely done! I’d imagine that the artistic challenge would be similar to drawing bodies of water like rivers or seas.

    It took a moment–or two–to get the “Stone Age” joke. But it was worth the mental effort!

  10. It’s “go to the doctor time” dude! Don’t delay! Under such circumstances, enjoy the solstice holidays to the very best of your abilities.

    • I’m rarely sick for more than 12 to 24 hours so I don’t rush off to the doc. There’s nothing they can do for flu stuff anyway. This one lasted 35 hours, now I’m back to normal. Thanks for your concern!

  11. I posted on FaceBook a similar Santa picture of me from 1961 as well. Man, our fancy ass Santa was on a decorated throne, not a cheesy chair like yours. I guess I came from the “right side of the tracks”. I’d attach the photo, but since clearly I am an old person like you, sigh, I don’t know how! Get well, the flu sucks. I was sick 4 weeks last month so I did my time.

    Love your stuff!


  12. The apparent link at the top doesn’t appear to link anywhere… Was this a (successful) attempt to confuse us or a sickness-fuel accident? In case of the former: congratulations. The latter: I’m sorry and hope you recover quickly.

  13. Excellent cartoons all week, and to be able to accomplish any work while in the throes of the flue is a feat! Yes, retching one’s brains out is great for the abs. I got a good, hearty chuckle out of your comment.

    Not a few people have said, “All I want for Christmas is January.” Chin up. It’ll be over soon! Happy 2014!

  14. hey dan…now that you are feeling better…can you help me on the santa joke?….I am glad john got the stone age, but not me…maybe coz I am jewish, I don’t really get the santa thing…maybe you should’ve drawn the santa black in honor of Megan Kelly…thx

    • Nothing much to it other than the notion that Santa started way back in the stone age when the toys likely would’ve been made of stone, thus the need for more reindeer to get the sled off the ground.

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