Ancient T & A


bz panel 01-10-14bz strip 01-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Budget House of Ill Repute.

I love the risque simplicity of this gag and I’m a little surprised that it wasn’t rejected for its sexual content. It always amazes me that Americans are so much more sensitive to nudity and sex than they are to violence. A TV program can show a woman getting beaten to death with a porcelain sink but they can’t show a loving couple with their shirts off. Astounding.

The idea for this gem came from my bueno amigo, Dan McConnell, a cartoonist and illustrator in his own right. He assures me, however, that he has never surfed the Interwebs for naked ladies, he’s only heard about it. I, however, cannot make that same claim.  See more of Dan McConnell’s work here.

I confess that when I was drawing this cartoon, I really, really, really wanted to use Thel and Jeffy from Family Circus as the characters in the museum. I’m sure Jeff Keane would have gotten a kick out of it, but in the end I decided it was a little too disrespectful to his father, the late, great Bil Keane, who was a personal friend of mine and just about everybody’s in the National Cartoonists Society. So just use your imagination for an extra giggle.

PREHISTARROS: Today’s cartoon from the Dead Sea Scrolls dates all the way back to 1998 or 9 or something. This modern interpretation of the Venus de Milo was born out of the very confusion I experience over the American fear of sex and nudity that I described above. For my foreign readers who have not memorized every city in the U.S., Wichita is a town in the middle of Kansas, which is in the middle of the 03-16-98 venusWEB


19 thoughts on “Ancient T & A

  1. I’m surprised that a free-thinking libertine wit such as yourself didn’t title yesterday’s installment, “Tuts and Asp”

  2. Pingback: Perhaps you have heard Russian epic of Cinderella? If shoe fits, wear it! – Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country « Sun Country's Weblog

  3. When I first moved to the US from Norway in Aug of 98 , I went to a weekened get-away with some friends. She Is Norwegian, he is American. They had, well still has, a daughter who at 3.5 didn’t think twice about jumping in the kiddie-pool naked. This of course caused quite a stir. I didn’t think anything of it, but I realized something was wrong when even other 3-4 yr olds called to their mommies; she’s nude! (OHHH NOO) Later that night after gallons of JD a 70 yr old showed me his new 357 which he always slept with under his pillow while on vacation in his RV


    • That’s our America! Some friends of mine in Dallas let their 2- and 4-year-olds frolic naked in a fountain in a fairly deserted park one Sunday morning. The police showed up and threatened to have their children taken away by child protection services if they didn’t get the kids dressed and leave. Not kidding.

  4. I love your cartoons, but your art ones are always my favorite! I still display the portrait artist who is getting advice from his dowager patron on how many pounds to take off and her dog’s insistence on making him a Rottweiler.

    • I’d forgotten about that one, Dean, thanks for the memory! If I can find it in my archives, I’ll post it in my Bizarrchives section of a post one day soon.

  5. Americans also have a thing against “modern” art in public. A piece that went up along the coast in Carlsbad (south of you on 101) a couple of decades ago was actually removed after too many people complained that they thought it was ugly or that they couldn’t understand it.

  6. There is a very large piece of modern art at the Chicago Museum that consists of an abstract outline of the male schnitzel. It isn’t very obvious even though it’s about 8′ x 8′ (artistic license evidently) until you turn your head slightly then, it’s frightening. The best part is watching the light bulb turn on when little old ladies recognize the image.

  7. I can’t help but notice that the art work has had a nipplectomy. Was that by request of the Syndicate, or did you give her that operation from the get-go? It might have been an opportunity to hide two more eyeballs.

  8. It’s okay to show something that 99.99% will never do in their lifetime (murder) but not okay to show something that 100% (I hope) will do (make love).

  9. The security officer appears to be pleasuring himself next to a grape-colored cherry pie. Long time no cherry, he may be thinking.

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