The Best Things In Life Are Expensive


bz panel 01-28-14bz strip 01-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Art Imitates Life.

I often find the world of advertising and marketing pretty offensive. Not in the typical ways––too sexual, too violent, etc.––but because they so often offend my intelligence. Wouldn’t it be great if I could think of a perfect example of such a thing right now? But I can’t.

One reason I can’t think of one is that I avoid ads of almost all kinds at all cost. I watch virtually no television live, so I fast forward through all commercials religiously. If it is impossible to fast forward, I mute them. The stupidity of the overwhelming majority of TV commercials is unbearable, whether they’re trying to get me to fill my body with toxic fast-food garbage because of the cool music the cool people who go there are listening to, or buy a car because a sexually attractive woman appears to be in heat as she drives it.

But the saddest thing about this topic is that ads are this dumb because they work. Which means most consumers are stupid enough to buy into what they are selling. Are you moved by a soldier in the desert saving a kitten? Then you’ll want this brand of insurance, whether they plan to deny your claim or not. Do you think rednecks driving in circles are heroes? Then drink this beer, regardless of how much like dirty water it tastes.

But a Barbi Bear is different. I would totally buy one of those for myself. And it’s the perfect gift for that future “plushy” child you know.

PICKLED JAZZ: bz 10-03-97 DogPorscheWEBThis elderly cartoon of mine from 1997 tells a similar story about human nature in a material society. I’m not saying I’m much different, of course. I long for things I see in the world around me, too. I’d love to have a Tesla luxury sedan, for instance. Shame on me.


19 thoughts on “The Best Things In Life Are Expensive

  1. If only I had a Porsche … I could ease suffering in the world, contribute to the quality of the planet, and leave this world a better place for my having been here.

  2. Right on Dan… we watch virtually n o live TV for the same reason. I can’t remember when we watched a Network program without getting bombarded with women’s leaky bladder commercials (obviously we men don’t leak) and erection sustaining ads one after the other. Like you we FF through the commercials to maintain our sanity… even non-network TV is getting as bad.

  3. That Barbie Bear reminds me of a christmas present I received one year from my older brother (the same one that gave me a psychedelic Hula Hoop for my 35th birthday, which I hung on my wall only partially unwrapped): a three month “subscription” to The Unfortunate Animal of the Month Club. Said gift meant I was to receive a total of three mutant plush animals, like these:

  4. The latter comic takes a dark turn once you learn that a domestic dog consumes as much natural resources during it’s lifetime as a regular non-hybrid SUV.

    The obvious only right choice for the dog would thus be to

  5. Saw a tv commercial last Friday afternoon that I never saw before and hope to never see again. Female in her 30s, I’d guess, so busy with weekend plans (shopping, baking classes, buying wine etc. ) that she’ll be using an ADULT DIAPER because she can’t take five-minutes to go to the bathroom. Seriously?! The advertising agency actually sold that idea to the company as a way to attract new customers–and they said yes?! (Hint: you can ‘depend’ on seeing mindless commercials on tv.)

  6. “…because [the ads] so often offend my intelligence.”

    Like when the ad says “We’ll beat any competitor’s price — or it’s free!” Sure, if you have to sell something at a loss [as if that would happen], why not sell it for a total loss.

    ” I’m not saying I’m much different, of course. I long for things I see in the world around me, too. I’d love to have a Tesla luxury sedan, for instance. Shame on me.”

    Well the Tesla *is* environmentally friendly and very safe for its passengers. If you still wanted to buy one even if it were not a luxury car, then I’d say that’s not so bad.

  7. The worst is getting the ditty from a lame ad circling endlessly in your head! Luckily I can’t think of an example right now.

  8. Hey Dan, fuck you and your cynicism. I’m sick of holier-than-thou assholes like you claiming that most people are stupid. Who the fuck are you to judge the intelligence of others? What are you doing to contribute to society besides drawing stupid cartoons and declaring your shit doesn’t stink?

  9. I see my comment is still awaiting moderation. Figures you’re afraid to own up to someone calling you out for your arrogance.

    • Hey, everyone, meet Jim Bevan. He’s been harassing me in the comments section of this blog for years. I stopped posting his comments ages ago because they’re always childish and vitriolic, like this one. He hates me and everything I stand for, yet he cannot stop reading my blog and commenting on what a horrible person I am. This is the last time your comments will be posted, Mr. Bevan, so enjoy it.

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