BBQ and Death


bz panel 02-08-14 bz panel 02-07-14

Bizarro is brought to you today by Cross-dressing in the 19th Century.

Even though Jazz Pickles tend to be smarter than the average rabble, not all of us are good at punctuation, spelling, and grammar. But surely you can see how the comma in the expression on the apron at left changes everything. By the way, if you are blissfully unaware of idiotic meme products, “Kiss the Cook” has long been a standard saying on novelty aprons. Although, once 89 million of them have sold, they are anything but a novelty.

I’m going to send this cartoon to my daughter, Krapuzar, who is a professional languagy person. She owns and operates, where you can have anything you’ve written improved for just pennies. Try it out, it will make you look smarter in writing. She likes to post amusing grammar and spelling stuff on ProofNinja’s FB page, the logo and cover photo for which was designed by yours, truly. (Yes, that last comma belongs there but is rarely used.)


Our next cartoon is a funny bit of parent/child interaction from the Reapers. It is the result of a collaboration between myself and my friend and colleague, Dan McConnell. We call each other the “other Dan.” Seems logical to us. Here’s more of his damn stuff.

As an added bit of mild interest today, here is the strip version of the Kiss cartoon, which I had to publish sideways to make the joke legible in newspapers. I’ve done this only a handful of times before. bz strip 02-08-14







25 thoughts on “BBQ and Death

  1. With the Kiss group, I’ve never gotten past the weird face-makeup and and awful music. (I used to call it “so-called music,” but then “rap” came along and made the Kiss-type stuff sound so much better by comparison.) So, do they really wear armor and platform shoes like you’re showing here?

      • Piraro,

        Super job. I am a fan of KISS and you did a great. Quick word of warning tho. If you really want to sell your design you would have to go through KISS to purchase a license to use their imagery. I looked into it a couple of years ago and spoke with one of their licensing attorneys. It was some where in the 20,000 to 30,000 range for a license. KISS is BIG business. But I would by one:)

  2. Hey Dan,

    I was watching the Westminster Dog competition on TV last night, and while drifting off to sleep later, a number of cartoon ideas with dogs and their handler at the show started running through my mind. Maybe over the next year you can come up with a few funny ideas and then post them sequentially in the newspaper the week of the show.

    The groomed dogs, their dressed up handler/owners and the judges are targets ripe for satire. Such as…. an Irish springer, hair all cuffed to the nines, being asked on the red carpet who does her hair. Queen Elizabeth trotting along side a welsh corgi with plastic glove on one hand and plastic grocery bag in the other: Caption ~”This handler is prepared for any event in the show ring”. Perhaps something with Snoopy or other cartoon dog. Finally, Marmaduke, the Great Dane, winning the trophy cup as best of show, while the other dogs looking on with various reactions. Juz making fun of the whole overblown event and the pompous names given to these dogs.

    Ah well, it seemed funny as I was falling asleep last night.



  3. Love = Gun ?

    I couldn’t even believe how beautiful the artwork and details were, as it was coming up on

    my phone; called my Mom, who saw it yesterday…she was in hysterics.

    As a child of the ’70’s it does not get any better than this.

  4. Any possibility of expanding the t-shirt sales into novelty cooking aprons? I would buy one with the “Kiss, the cook” comic on it!

  5. These two are hilarious! I like how you make fun of two very unfunny topics- heavy metal and death. I always feel that there are almost nothing taboo that one can joke about…. in good taste that is.

  6. I have seen references to ProofNinja before, but I was unaware of your connection.

    I have liked it. Please tell your daughter that I’m not changing that sentence.

  7. Dan, a classic spoken version of this idea (with a slight pause for the comma) from the old Benny Hill show:

    “What’s that in the road ahead?” versus “What’s that in the road, a head?”

    Still makes me laugh…..

  8. Well, well. I was the 1000th ‘like’ on the proofninja page, how ’bout that! One of my family members was a fellow ‘liker’ (he’s a writer/editor) as were you, Dan. :o)

  9. This may be totally off-topic (like that’s even possible on this blog), but I’m looking for the comic featuring two guys at the front door of a house talking to a housewife. One was a thin geeky type with no shoulders and the other was a linebacker. Both had suits, sunglasses and earpieces dangling from their ears.

    Text went something like: “Excuse me ma’am. We represent a government organization so secret we can’t even mention it’s name. In fact I think I’ve said too much already. We’ll be leaving now.”

    I believe it was first published around 1989? I would like very much to download or buy this comic.



    • I remember that comic, Chuck, but I’m not sure I can find it. If I can, I’ll post it in the archives section of an upcoming blog. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

  10. Glad to see that you didn’t actually try to out-do Frank Zappa with odd offspring-designations… the Internet can prove amazingly powerful… EVEN for consumers of vegetarian acronyms.

    SenseiC bows out.

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