Shrinks, Nuts, Crooks, Tramps, Cons


bz panel 02-10-14bz panel 02-11-14bz panel 02-12-14bz panel 02-13-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Strange Fetish.


As is often the case, my Monday and Tuesday were too busy with Bizarro deadlines for me to post, then I got arrested on Wednesday and was still unable to post, but now I’m out on bail so here at long last are Mon’s, Tues’s, Wed’s and Thurs’s cartoons from this week.

Monday’s is about something that most couples experience at some point. I’ve been to couples therapy with three different women in my life and all three relationships ended shortly thereafter. In my cases, the therapy was an effort to save something that was already gone. In one case, and it was more-or-less the impetus for this gag, my wife and our female therapist spent all of their time agreeing with each other and telling me I just needed to forgive her. To add insult to injury, I was the one paying for the therapist. I don’t recommend her.



I got a fair amount of responses from people on the Grape-Nuts gag; it seemed to resonate with readers in some unexpected ways. Check out this adorable story. For my Jazz Pickles in foreign countries who may not be familiar with the product, it is a breakfast cereal that’s been around for over a hundred years and contains neither grapes nor nuts. This pun on the well-known quote from Shakespeare’s “Twelfth Night” is the brainchild of my good friend Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay. (For those of you in the know, Cliff was able to get the piano for his son. Yay!)





Wednesday’s cartoon is about an American TV show that has been widely touted as the best TV drama of all time. I concur but there’s no doubt it is at least in the top five. If you’ve not seen the entire series, this joke will evade you. If that is the case, it’s not worth explaining, so just move on.







Thursday’s cartoon is perhaps a little trite. The old “don’t try this at home” punch line has been used to death but for some reason I thought this version of a bum sleeping on a public bench was amusing enough to draw. I’m not so sure now, however. Oh well, at least we get a nice shot of Bunny’s Pie Repair in the background and that dashing man in the foreground with his Bizarro Jazz Pickle button.





bz 06-02-98 titanicWEBVintage Pickling: Today’s ancient relic is from 1998. I remember seeing an ad for a submarine tour of the Titanic, just like the one in the cartoon and for the same price. Being the entrepreneurial type that I am, I immediately thought of an alternative, more affordable way to visit the wreckage. To date, I’ve only actually sold a handful of these travel packages.


14 thoughts on “Shrinks, Nuts, Crooks, Tramps, Cons

  1. Thumbs up on Breaking Bad!

    I like the Titanic cartoon. Very clever! I have already bought 2 shirts from you but I think I’ll pass on the vacation.

  2. I love your strip and there is so much good material in the world (when seen properly, unproperly) for you to use, and you use it well. Today though, I was surprised, and hurt, to see homeless person used to get a laugh. Just because you draw something you like, doesn’t mean it is ready to be shared as a joke. Thanks for listening to my 2 cents. (Everyone is someone.)

    • I agree with your sentiments and appreciate your comments. I don’t think the comic is particularly dismissive or derogatory towards the homeless, however, so that’s why I used it.

  3. I’ve been eagerly awaiting your next blogging ever since Mike Peterson’s excellent “Comic Strip of the Day” blog got personal about your Grape-Nuts cartoon. But also, I received my JAZZ PICKLE tshirt on Saturday and have been wearing it and explaining it to befuddled people It’s now in the laundry hamper to be washed and explained later. I am quite accustomed to explaining my shirts to befuddled people so yours is a worthy addition to my wardrobe. But then I saw something on the web that is, to me, a whole ‘nother kind of Jazz Pickle: using gherkins conducting electricity for lighting and building a Gherkin Chandelier. I’m sure you’d be one of the first to get one except for the fact that it’s horribly energy inefficient.

  4. Those were funny!!I enjoyed the Don’t Try This at Home, gag.. Some grown children have been known to do exactly that, and it doesn’t go over well. haha Ya Bumya!

  5. What is it with the slice of pie appearing in some of your cartoons? I get it that the guy sleeping on the bench does not have his “slice of the pie” the way us more fortunate folks do. (Am I reading too much into that?) But a slice near the suspect?

    • I put little out-of-place icons in most of my cartoons and have been doing so since the late 90s. The small number above my signature tells you how many to look for in each image. It’s all part of the never-ending fun of Bizarro Industries. :^}

  6. One of the universities in the States just published the results of a study that they did on breakfast cereal- the rats they fed the packaging to, were healthier than the ones that were fed the cereal!?! (Haw- you can’t make stuff like this up.)

  7. Dan…I never eat grape nuts, but don’t understand this one..

    I do remember when the commercial asked if you ever ate a pinecone…then it was ok to eat grape nuts…


    • A Shakespearean line from Twelfth Night goes something like, “Some are born to greatness, some achieve greatness, others have greatness thrust upon them.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *