Amputee Gore Explosion Unibat


bz panel 04-24-14bz strip 04-24-14bz panel 04-25-14bz strip 04-25-14bz panel 04-26-14bz strip 04-26-14Bizarro is brought to you today by My Great Grandmother’s Career in Criminal Justice.

I like this batch of three cartoons quite a lot and got some interesting mail regarding two of them.

The first cartoon about the Scarecrow’s difficulty with the horses of Oz attracted this email comment: “I enjoy Bizarro very much but as an old retired newspaper editor I can’t resist commenting on today’s strip.  Obviously you are a city kid.  Otherwise you would know that a straw man would never be eaten by horses.  Horses do not eat straw.  Horses eat hay.  Horses bed down in straw.  Horses poop in straw (which might be worse than being eaten).  But horses do not eat straw.”

Yes, I’m a city kid and didn’t know the difference between straw and hay. Although I’ve worked on a farm a bit (volunteering at Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary) and now remember that straw is gold and hay is green. Oh well, I still think it’s a funny gag.




Much funnier than the previous note is this one about the unicorn gag: “Thank you for your fun artistry and social commentaries.  

My auto license plate reads:  UNIQORN   I think my thoughts about Unicorns are forthright.  A Unicorn, no matter whose fantasy-land, would never attack or maim.  

Please make another commentary.  Unicorns are all about Peace and Imagination.”

Both of these notes were respectful and friendly so I don’t mean to make fun of them, but it has always been interesting to me the different takes that people have on any given cartoon. I explained to the unicorn lover that the point of that cartoon was not about the inherent violence of imaginary creatures, but rather the encroachment of humans on wilderness areas, which often leads to attacks. I suspect the reason sharks are getting closer to land and attacking humans more often is that their food sources have been pillaged by commercial fishing. Sharks don’t know it is us who are doing it, of course, but they are looking for large things to eat because we have so seriously depleted the amount of large fish in the ocean, so they wander closer to shore looking for seals or whatever. Just a semi-educated guess but let’s just all agree that it is true and look it up later.


My final cartoon this week is a collaboration with my good buddy and known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I changed this one a bit from his original submission, so pop over to Wayno’s blog to see the original and read Wayno’s eloquent comments thereof.







bz 06-03-11UnicornBatmanWEBREZARRO: Here’s another unicorn gag I did back in 2011 that is in my book of Bizarro super hero cartoon spoofs. You can still order this hilarious book of hilariousness here. I highly recommend getting one for yourself and a dozen or more for gifts later!


23 thoughts on “Amputee Gore Explosion Unibat

  1. Horses DO eat straw. If one of my horses gets overweight I will give it less hay and make up for the lack of bulk with straw as there are no calories in straw. I really enjoy your cartoons. Keep them coming. leon

  2. Like your very best cartoons, the one of a man supposedly killed by a unicorn, has such a fertile level of ambiguity that the punchline has several possible layers of meaning. Is it only about a world so far into fantasy that fantastic creatures are turning on humans? Or shouldn’t we also see the possibility that it is the police detective who is so far into fantasy thinking that he sees the victim of a stabbing and attributes the wound to a unicorn. What crimes does he attribute to a dragon? Funny that we, assuming the cop is an authority, should get into interpretations of unicorn behavior when in this case all unicorns may remain innocent, falsely accused by police who have lost contact with reality (watching too many TV cop shows). On the other hand, on yet another level of interpretation, if it “really” were a unicorn, I see no reason to be surprised. I can think of a uncorn as being obsessed with “purity” and “the ideal,” and who is more likely to turn violent than a disillusioned idealist? Here’s another as rich in ambuity as a parable.

  3. Pingback: bizarro | Snedo – Its Neato!

  4. If encroaching on fantasy land is dangerous, may we hope that creationists will get eaten by dinosaurs while they are visiting Noah’s ark?

    As for the shark attacks, I wonder if the numbers of attacks are actually on the rise. If so, it is most likely simply because more people are swimming in the sea, thus getting into contact with sharks. Shark attacks remain very rare things, and the main dangers from the sea are drowning in it, or getting killed in a car crash while going there.

    Whatever the case may be, how about a few shark gags (e.g. a shark gagging on some distasteful politician)? For an imagination as delightfully sick as yours, they sure must be a rich source of inspiration… :-)

  5. “Unicorns are all about Peace and Imagination”

    I’d like to see some statistical evidence; can they cite some research into unicorn populations to back this up? I mean, I knew this one unicorn that was just into nihilism and Slayer.

  6. Regarding “Slow Danger,” I was so close! I have often seen a “Slow Children” sign, but as a teacher, I could never make a joke about slow children. Everyone learns at his or her own pace.

  7. Indeed horses do eat straw, although it’s not very nutritious: the only reason they”bed down” in straw is because humans insist on keeping them in tiny stables, shut in with their own feces: since the floors are usually concrete, straw (or sawdust) has to be put down so they can lie down in some approximation of comfort and without pools of wee accumulating. Then some hapless human has to come along and clean it all up, put down fresh sawdust/straw and complain about how hard they work for their much loved horses. They also shave off their hair and then put blankets on them, deprive them of free roaming and then “exercise” them, usually controlling their movements with chunks of dead cow skin…… etc etc etc. Go figure.

  8. I just read that you’re much more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark. (Popular Mechanics even published a “cow survival guide” in March, 2011…) So you don’t even have to go to fantasy land for gore killings.

    • Dan probably won’t do any cow cartoons though, because that’s Gary Larson’s specialty. Then again, as far as I know he’s retired now, leaving the field of cow gags wide open.

      And yes, sharks are simply not a big issue. You are also more likely to get killed by domestic dogs. Or flesh eating bacteria. Or almost any other form of freak accident. Most of those things just don’t look all that dangerous seeing as they lack the magnificent set of teeth.

      • And, of course, my cartoon isn’t about whether or not sharks are dangerous but that we are routinely destroying their food sources and changing their behavior as a result. :^}

  9. In your defense, perhaps the scarecrow was comprised of the more nutritious (and more nutrient-rich for composting/mulching) alfalfa….and if sharks are finding us more attractive as food, perhaps it’s because we’re fatter and more calorie-concentrated these days.

  10. ‘Here, unicorn,’ said the man, and he pulled up a lily and gave it to him. The unicorn ate it gravely. With a high heart, because there was a unicorn in his garden, the man went upstairs and roused his wife again…

    “The unicorn ate it gravely” is one of the finest lines in Thurber.

    They can turn on you, though.

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