Square Parrot Prayer


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Bizarro is brought to you today by My New Career in Mexico.


My friend, Edwin, gave me the idea for this cartoon by showing up to dinner dressed like this. His T-shirt didn’t say this but his mouth did, so here’s a comic about it. In fairness to Edwin, I should add that he is anything but a square.











I really love this parrot-porn gag from the perverse mind of my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. I like this cartoon because it hints at the fact that no matter how bizarre your fetish is, there’s a site for it on the Interwebs. Think of all the millions of people who, before the Internet, languished in silent shame believing that they were the only ones who were sexually excited by knees, or people in llama costumes, or whatever you can imagine. Wayno talks about his side of this collaboration here.


19 thoughts on “Square Parrot Prayer

  1. The phenomenon you mention in talking bout the Polly porn picture is known (as I found out only a few days ago, despite its 11-year history) as Rule 34: “If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions.”

  2. I quite enjoyed being the only person in the world who got off on knees; once I discovered that 36, 981,234 other folk shared my taste, it was no fun any more.

    Brains are good (only when installed in a head and fully functioning, don’t worry!).

  3. outstanding… the fryers are hilarious… and, been square done squat is going to be my banner on facebook…

  4. OOPS! Now I’m afraid that I’ve been a bad pickle, a total gherkin even. If I share one of your cartoons from Arcamax via it’s Facebook link does that meet the requirements you mentioned earlier – about linking to your blog and not changing it in any way? Mostly linking to your blog because I wouldn’t even consider changing them.

  5. I read it as Amazon, not a porn site.

    Porn would be another parrot.

    Vicki Hearne reports a parrot story (in Animal Happiness):

    There is a parrot living in a bar in Tijuana – I have this on excellent authority – who causes people to order more drink than they intended by sidling up to them, cocking his head, and asking, “Can you talk?” …

    … [T]he human resentment of parrots, especially all the talk about their having devils in them and so on, springs not from their startling ability to utter human phrases but from their aggravating refusal to let you choose the topic. You know how it is. You go up to a parrot, and he’s probably in a cage and you’re not, so you feel pretty superior, maybe you even think you can feel sorry for the parrot, and you ask the parrot how he is, and he says something gnomic like, “So’s your old man,” or “How fine and purple are the swallows of late summer.” Then the parrot looks at you in a really interested, expectant way, to see if you’re going to keep your end up. At first you think you’ve been insulted, but a parrot is too cool to throw insults around, unlike a blue jay, and once you notice that, you start trying to figure out what the parrot means by it, and there you are. You haven’t a prayer of reintroducing whatever topic you had in mind. That’s why philosophers keep denying that parrots can talk, of course, because a philosopher really likes to keep control of a conversation.

  6. I love the way in which you somehow managed to put a salacious expression on a parrot’s face. Don’t know how one does that. You are truly a talented artist.

    • Thanks for noticing, Brian. I’ve been working hard at subtle expressions for many years, I’m happy it’s paying off. :^}

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  8. Love the Birds of Pray! Reminds me of a comic I saw years ago: two cats lifting their legs and saying “Let us spray!” A little irreverence is always fun!!

  9. Ha, I didn’t immediately think this was parrot porn but I guess it is. Actually, my macaw really wants walnuts, with peanuts a close second.

    I think you either have or used to have a macaw or know someone who does, as you draw them perfectly and portray their personalities in your cartoons very accurately. I have an evil macaw myself, ha. I really loved the cartoon where the macaw goes next door looking to hide because he and his elderly owner got into a disagreement and he killed her. I also liked the cartoon where the macaw has his owner tied up and is telling the police at the door that there is no problem, sorry to bother them.

    • I’ve never had a parrot but have been fascinated by them since I was a child. Fortunately, I read up on them pretty extensively before I got one and decided it was too much of a commitment for me. :^}

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