Holiday Hangover

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The adorable Olive Oyl and I were on vacation last week and though we have been back since Monday, I’ve had no time to post here because this past week has been a hectic whirlwind of chaos, mayhem, and shenanigans of all kinds as I try to get caught up. As anyone who’s ever had a vacation knows, getting back into the rhythm of “real life” after you’ve spent seven days drinking margaritas from noon till midnight is like trying to put a giraffe in a car without a sunroof. Yes, that is a clumsy analogy but I’ve been drinking tequila all day, every day for a week and my brain is soft. For anyone who cares, we had an amazing time and here’s proof.

So here is this past week’s cartoons. I vaguely remember having seen them before and my signature appears on all of them so I guess they’re mine.

 

1. I’m all for adopting highways but then there’s always the chance they’ll up and run off someday, trying to find their real parents.

 

 

 

 

2. How do they know when I’m listening to NPR?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. How amazing would it be if you died and actually found yourself in cartoon heaven, with wings and a large O-ring floating above your head? Sounds boring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. At open-casket funerals, people often say the corpse “looks natural.” I’ve been to a few and they look anything but natural. Unless you mean they look dead, which is a part of nature.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. I actually wrote this restaurant cartoon after my first divorce, back in 1996, but since I’m going through it again it seemed like a good time to revisit the topic. After all the artillery fire is over and peace has returned to your village, it’s good to be able to laugh at how angry someone we once loved and trusted can make us. The silver lining is that after each divorce, my life improved immeasurably. I can’t wait to do it again! (Last line to be read with dripping sarcasm.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. A friend of mine, Bob the museum guard, pointed out to me that I’ve done a lot of “bad dog” cartoons lately. It isn’t because my own sweet Jemima has been a bad dog lately, she hasn’t, but when I first adopted her she was still young and added to the chaos of my life with alarming regularity. She’s calming down a lot lately––I think it’s because I introduced her to meditation. That’s her, more or less, on the far right. She’s taken to wearing glasses and a hat these days, but I depicted her naked in this cartoon.

22 thoughts on “Holiday Hangover

  1. Divorce, been there, done that. Try the death of a spouse that made his daughter executor, his partner saying she was his other wife at the funeral, and things disappearing from your house when you were at work and the “executor” and another daughter was sitting with him. The daughter that is still living in the home and helping take care of him, is not but mentioned in the will as daughter, is left nothing. How do you spell “DISFUNCTIONAL”? Sorry still venting 2 years later.

  2. Welcome back! I was beginning to worry that you had died, and found myself wondering whether you were lying somewhere in an open casket, looking natural…

    • Yes, that’s an arrow in his back but no, it doesn’t reflect my feelings for wait-staff. An arrow in the back is one of the many hidden icons I toss into my cartoons for no discernible reason. It is perhaps the most rarely used of all of them, however.

  3. You look pretty happy in your escapades with the charming Ms Oyl. I don’t think you should get married, though. Just in case.

    Welcome back. Congratulations on being able to actually stand up after all that tequila.

  4. Welcome back Dan! Almost didnt feel like a Sunday without the puns. Lol’d at cartoon#2 … clever. Another divorce? Thats rough. Hey maybe ur ex’s could be the ‘bad dogs’ in ur cartoons. And btw, fitting a giraffe in a car even with a sunroof isnt going to be easy!

  5. So, did you suspend your vegetarian (or is it vegan?) practices while on vacation?

    That is, DID YOU DRINK THE TEQUILA THAT HAD THE WORM IN IT?

    ewww!!!!

  6. Looks like your vacation was more exciting than mine. I was on a Dead Relatives Tour trying to figure out how the past three generations died to see if my sister’s cancer really was genetic.

    As a veteran of many romantic wars, it is easy to forget that the opposite of Love is not Complete Loathing, but Total Indifference. May you reach Indifference soon — I hear that margaritas are good fuel for the trip.

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