Lawyer Spelunker Nobody Prison


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Bizarro is brought to you today by Let My People Go.


Monday’s cartoon: I could never be an attorney because I wouldn’t be able to make myself fight for guilty or rotten people. Also because I find giant books full of rules make me want to move to another planet.













Tuesday’s: I love caves and I love the word “spelunking.” I try to use it in casual conversation at least once each day.













Wednesday’s: Regarding anonymity: Patriotism is to scoundrels what the Internet is to cowards.
















Thursday’s: Few things are sadder to me than an animal in a cage. Some cartoons are funny, others are poignant, and ones like Garfield have no point at all. Yes, that’s my opinion but then this is my blog.









Old Bizness: Along the same theme but perhaps funnier, are these two from the olden days. bz parrot 01-06-10WEB BizarroPirateKidnappedParrot WEB



16 thoughts on “Lawyer Spelunker Nobody Prison

  1. I so agree about animals in cages. Even when they’re treated well, fed appropriate foods, etc., they’re still in jail. People seem to like to put caged birds beside windows, where they can see all they’re missing, and that’s particularly unfair.

  2. Dan, if you ever played the text-based computer game series Zork (based on the original Adventure game), then “Hello Sailor” brings back fond memories. To quote from a forum entry I just stumbled across:

    “””Hello Sailor” is the catchphrase easily recognized by legions of Zork fans. This phrase, originally used by hookers to grab the attention of — you guessed it, sailors, made it into the entire trilogy of Zork works. Generally, the phrase is useless, provoking a “Nothing happens here.” It became something of a running joke among Zork fans for a long time, and is easily the most famous phrase of the series. (Although “Hello Footpad” occasionally gets a clever response too.)

    In Zork 3, you must wait for a Viking ship. If you say the phrase before it arrives, you are told, “Nothing happens yet.” — after, “Nothing happens anymore.” But if you should happen to say it to the Viking ship…


    The seaman looks up and maneuvers the boat toward shore. He cries out “I have waited three ages for someone to say those words and save me from sailing this endless ocean. Please accept this gift. You may find it useful!” He throws something which falls near you in the sand, then sails off toward the west, singing a lively, but somewhat uncouth, sailor song.””

    • The only computer game I ever played was Astroids, and that was nearly 20 years ago, I’m afraid. I’m easily addicted to things like that and don’t have the time to get addicted, so I stay away from them.

  3. Love your work Dan. In the pirate drawing I don’t think you needed ‘Kidnapped by parrots’. Unless it’s for your less intelligent fans. I totally got it.

  4. Congratulations! Your Friday comic is ComicsKingdon’s Comic of the Day! Don’t want to spoil it for the people who only get their Bizarro here, but today you can see it on the front page at without a subscription, you cheapskates.

  5. In the new Man In The Cage cartoon, it would have been extra fun if the painting had a man hanging upside down in it. Just thought about that because of the stalagtites cartoon.

    On a personal note, I believe ownership on animals should be outlawed as well as most laws should be outlawed.

  6. Re: The term ‘spelunkers’ – It now is somewhat of a pejorative term among cavers in that spelunkers are viewed as the flashlight and tennis shoes set who often get into trouble (a commonly seen bumper sticker is “Cavers Rescue Spelunkers”). I’ve been a caver for nearly 50 years…

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