Suey Horse Locker Hillbilly


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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Power of Art.


As with most things in life, Chinese food is about your point of view.

(That sounds like it means something deep but I’ve no idea what it might be.)

(Get a print of this cartoon here.)












I love Westerns but I always hate it when they shoot a horse. This cartoon doesn’t bother me as much, though, because when I was a kid I was bitten by a sawhorse and I’ve hated them ever since. (Get a print of this cartoon here.)










I long ago gave up buying gifts for people on what I call “capitalist holidays,” which is to say holidays with elaborate gift-giving traditions that were invented by department stores. Christmas is foremost among them, followed by Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, Groundhog Day, you name it. Come to think of it, I just hate being expected to buy gifts other than when the mood strikes me independently. So I gave it up. Yes, I’m just that much of a rebel.  (Get a print of this cartoon here.)









BIZARCHIVES: To round out your Wednesday, I offer this Sunday comic from 1996. If you don’t recognize the monologue, Google it. And then Google everything else that happened before you were born so you can catch up with the rest of us.BIZARRO 08-18-96 IndiansWEB


20 thoughts on “Suey Horse Locker Hillbilly

  1. Wow you make cartooning look so easy and fun. Please add Mother’s and Father’s Day to the most capitalist of holidays … as if there isn’t enough guilt already!

  2. I can’t read or hear the monologue in the Bizarchive without expecting some pseudo-bluegrass tune to start playing. Is there a banjo player just off-panel?

  3. I loved “For the man who has everything”. How true the capitalist way. Every week department stores are having a “Sale”. Really? I could go on and on.

  4. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Well, it is upside down on the table, so when you try to pick it up, it’ll likely end up ALL empty.

  5. I’ve never written a fan letter to a cartoonist but you have made me wet my pants laughing more times than I can remember. I LOVE your sense of humor! I suffer from depression so it’s so great to have a good laugh. Before my printer died I used to print the strips and I still have them in albums so I always know where to go for a belly laugh when my world caves in on me. With all my heart – I thank you. Since I’m almost 72 I’m hoping you’ll be around longer than I will. Keep up the great work, tho I doubt you could do otherwise. Deana

  6. Loving the “power of Art” (whoever HE is)….and STILL not getting your cartoons/ blog/ newsletter at my email address (sigh).

    Noting gift-giving suggestion. Thank you! May downsize to shoe or hat box. (Won’t my brother be surprised!)

  7. As always, love the level of detail you bring to your cartoons. The Chinese restaurant panel is Zen-like in the simplicity of the gag as well as the scene depicted, while at the same time providing wonderful details like the Chinese decoration on the wall, the waiter’s clothing, the ubiquitous nubby red plastic drink glass found in these establishments, and the now iconic Kikkoman soy sauce dispenser on the table.

    As for “capitalist holidays”, I couldn’t agree more. Unfortunately with some folks, like my girlfriend, these have become a “non-optional social obligation”. The consequences of ignoring a ‘holiday’ like Valentine’s day is done at your own peril. My adaptation is to provide gifts of experience, like a handwritten gift-certificate for a mystery trip to a museum or other activity. Lord knows we don’t need more stuff. And for some truly useful physical item discovered, I give it as a spontaneous gift, not connected to some particular date.

    And don’t get me started on the invention of store gift-cards which, like “service contracts”, are just high-profit candy for retailers.

    • I couldn’t agree more on every point you make. That’s exactly how I feel and how I handle these things. When I give a gift, it’s always hand made. And thanks for the nice compliments about my art. :^}

    • You can leave it here in the comments. I read them all, but don’t post the ones with ideas for cartoons, in case I decide to use them later. Thanks!

  8. Storage units – monuments to indecision. But mine’s only cost me $110 a month for 6 years and it’s still got a little room. I’ll sublet.

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