Baby Dog Hitman Tornado


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Bizarro is brought to you today by The Man, The Cake.

Everyone has seen plenty of parents who have no business raising kids, but nobody thinks they are one of them. It’s been said many times that you have to pass a test to drive a car, but anyone can have a kid, ruin them, and set them loose on society to wreak havoc. (No, it isn’t “wreck” havoc, in case you are wondering.) Beyond this obvious issue, it is also safe to say that humans are the only species actively destroying the planet, and everyone and everything would benefit greatly if we stopped reproducing. Yeah. Like that’s going to happen.











I was raised in Oklahoma where not everyone is a stupid redneck, but there are certainly more than you could shake a stick at. I still think they’re funny.















In the movies, mobsters are frequently trying to make a “hit” look like an accident. This target makes it easy.








DEJA VIEW: Since I just mentioned I was raised in tornado country, I thought this gag from 1995 might amuse you. I had close relatives whose trailer was picked up by a tornado back around 1970, tossed to the ground, and destroyed. They were all injured but miraculously not killed. That bz951227TornadoWEBkind of thing is pretty common in those parts.



17 thoughts on “Baby Dog Hitman Tornado

  1. It might be difficult to make a *fatal* unicycle “accident” look believable.

    I got news for you, re: tornadoes: you didn’t leave them behind. I live about a hundred miles south of you (in North coastal San Diego County), and in the late 60s our neighborhood got hit by a tornado. A small one (probably an F-1), but it did take out our back fence, removed a neighbors large, metal patio awning, and ripped out another neighbor’s 60 ft. tree by the roots.

    • You’re right, they can pop up everywhere. But in Tulsa, they get two or three every year. They usually don’t kill anyone so you don’t hear about them, but they’re a constant threat.

  2. And in addition to the incompetent parents there are all those lousy dog owners, especially the women. They do absolutely nothing to train their flea bitten shit nozzles which annoy the rest of the world. I HATE them!

  3. I would’ve been happy to provide my kids references and qualifications, but they didn’t come with a warranty or a trial period, not even an instruction manual!

  4. THANK YOU !! for this one !! You do the best commentaries on people over-producing ~ I wish this country could actually LOOK at the problems, BEFORE we have to impose restrictions, like China did. Which I still think is kind of horrifying. But what are we going to do ? When the human race is SO STUPID ?

    OK, Sorry. I’ve had a Petsitting Biz for over 18 years. I LOVE the pets, sometimes NOT the owners, so I’m Biased. Please keep making me laugh about these issues, it keeps me going !!

    You are my favorite cartoonist of all time !!

    Thank you for what you do !

  5. I love your stuff, Bizarro!! Only just discovered you but making up for lost time, sharing cartoons on Facebook and roaring with laughter. :) :) Thanks for all the laffs.

    From the Zuke in Australia.

  6. Tornado Alley is yet another good reason not to live anywhere near Oklahoma. Another is their Senator Jim Inhofe who, talking about ISIS, said last week “We’re in the most dangerous position we’ve ever been in as a nation.” He also calls climate change “a hoax.” Both of those Oklahoma aspects scare me.

  7. Not sure if you knew the physics behind that: when you place large amounts of aluminum in one place, as in a trailer park, it creates vortexes that pull wind currents down onto them – it’s simple, trailer parks suck.

  8. Help me help me! I’m no longer receiving blog posts, and the system still thinks I’m subscribed. I’ve even tried to sign up a different e-mail address (which forwards to the first), but never receive the confirmation that I’m informed has been sent. I’m not keeping up!

  9. Dan, And I thought you were just mad at me! Like “mh”, I thought all was lost! Then got about 26 today. Had to quit 1/3 the list ’cause my tummy was shaking with laughs too much. Ah, there is always tomorrow. Thanks

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