Stampede Fish Rapunzel Parrot Miscreant


Bizarro 09-07-14 hdrWEBBizarro 09-07-14 WEBbz panel 09-08-14bz strip 09-08-14bz panel 09-09-14bz strip 09-09-14bz panel 09-10-14bz strip 09-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Attack of the Trump Clones.

To my regular readers of this blog I’d like to apologize for being so tardy in my posts of late. I was accidentally cast as the narrator/host of a show on FOX called “Utopia,” and since this is the first week of the show and I’m the only one on it allowed to leave to do interviews and press, they’ve kept me super busy. I’m having a ball with it, although it is still completely surreal. More about how this happened in my previous post here. Meanwhile, here are some cartoons to catch you up on my “real” life as a cartoonist.

SUNDAY: I’m always happy when I come across one of these old-fashioned riding toys that were ubiquitous outside grocery and dime stores when I was a kid. Compared to modern technology, these things are incredibly lame, but I guess kids are still riding them or they’d be gone for good.



MONDAY: From the inimitable mind of Cliff The King Of Wordplay, comes this take on fishing and the idiosyncrasies of the English language. I laughed, hope you did, too.










TUESDAY: I apologize for adding that second line, the gag would’ve been just as good without it. I guess I was having a moment of doubt that everyone would remember the story of Rapunzel, but now I’m reminded that my Jazz Pickles never miss a thing.












WEDNESDAY: There is a long-standing debate over whether talking birds actually understand what they’re saying. I’ve read up a bit on this and think that while many are likely just mimicking sounds, some actually understand the basic meaning and use the words they know in context. In general, non-human animals are far more sophisticated than we egomaniacal humans have historically thought in so many ways.









BIZARRO OF THE LIVING DEAD: bz990824 COURT WEBFrom 1999, here’s a fun take on the rituals of court.



27 thoughts on “Stampede Fish Rapunzel Parrot Miscreant

  1. I loved those ubiquitous riding toys, and–even though the motion was basically the same–the more exotic the better. And I think I even yelled something quite similar to what your cowboy did on more than one occasion (when on a horse ride, not the more exotic ones).

  2. I got the Rapunzel reference right away, but spent longer than I probably should have wondering how it is possible for a dog to be the act of rescuing someone. The English language is so strange at times, and I imagine it’s impossible to predict what will and will not confuse your readers with perfect accuracy.

  3. I’d like to see a herd of stampeding coin-operated cattle, with rustlers feeding in the quarters. (And maybe a grizzled cowboy noting that they won’t have change for laundry)

  4. I love your comics and always look for the pie, upside=down bird, eyeball, dynamite, bunny and alien. I just want to let you know that I absolutely hate reality shows but have been watching Utopia – you are a wonderful narrator. Wonderful voice!

  5. “In general, non-human animals are far more sophisticated than we egomaniacal humans have historically thought in so many ways.”

    My own personal theory is that many animals, like dogs, can only attain a certain level of understanding of human language, say at the same level as a very young human child. But it has been observed that there are many kinds of “intelligence” and I believe that many animals have emotional intelligence at least on par with humans. This shouldn’t be surprising given the layer cake anatomy of the brain, with the lower more primitive parts, which are involved with emotions, being something that birds and mammals inherited from our reptilian ancestors, with all the ‘higher level’ gray matter plopped on top of that. While it is easy to understand that animals have their own languages and can to a certain degree understand ours (consider the Border Collie with a vocabulary of over a thousand objects) it would appear that the invention of human language caused an evolutionary feedback loop, making us what we are today. Of course if we’re so damn smart, why can’t we do a better job of understanding the languages of other creatures?

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  8. i told you in email id wait utopia narrator scandal……all one has to do is investgate on line underage relationship with victor and so on….you cant talk like that about kids to people

    • I’m sure you have a good point in there somewhere but you should get someone who was not passed through school by teachers who were tired of dealing with them to proofread your comments.

  9. Dan, that stampede bit is an amazing piece of art. It looks like each cow is individually drawn, and the dust effect is spot on. Not only that, the gag is so good because you don’t realize the cowboy is on a mechanical horse until you read what he says. Nicely done.

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    • I was referring to our species’ traditionally arrogant attitude toward non-human animals. I am a member of that species, though I, and many millions of other humans (including a growing number of scientists) have abandoned that notion.

      As you have so eloquently demonstrated, many others have not.

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