Successful Inferior Parakeet Hostage


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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dressing For Success.


I’m not sure where this gentleman is from but wherever it is, he’s enviably successful. And, I want to live there. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.)














My own personal adventures in therapy have yielded amazing results and by following this simple credo––Be an inferior version of someone better than you––I’ve become who I am today. Just think of me as a poor man’s Walt Disney. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.)









For you readers who are not as well versed in old movies as I am and have no idea what this cartoon is about, here’s a hint: it’s about a famous line from a Humphrey Bogart film called “The Treasure of the Sierra Madre.” In it, Hump (as his friends called him) plays a gold prospector who, along with a couple of other guys, finds gold in the Sierra Madre mountains but then runs into a heap of trouble trying to transport the gold back to civilization to cash it in. On the way, they meet some banditos who claim to be Mexican police. Humphrey asks to see their badges and the leader says, with a thick Mexican bandito accent, “Badges? We ain’t got no badges. We don’t need no badges. I don’t have to show you any stinkin’ badges.” Then things get shoot-em-up ugly.  Okay, that’s more than a hint, but now you know. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.)



PAZZ JICKLES: From the archival crypt at Rancho Bizarro comes another dilemma of crime and deception and it’s also in a pet store. Tune in next time to find out if the chihuahua eats the old lady.bz960712WEB


25 thoughts on “Successful Inferior Parakeet Hostage

  1. So nice to see the actual TotSM quote instead of the condensed popular version of it! Though yours isn’t the *actual* quote; it’s more of a para(keet)phrase.

  2. The first time I visited Berkeley, I was taking the obligatory stroll down Telegraph Ave. when I saw a t-shirt in a used-clothing store window that caught my eye: it was a shirt from the Oakland Zoo that had two polar bears dressed as guards, and the caption “Badgers? We don’t have to show you no stinkin’ badgers!”. To this day, I regret not buying that shirt.

  3. What? You mean to tell me the fez isn’t universally accepted as a symbol of success and importance? You mean Doctor Who lied to me?!?

  4. And of course, the ‘badges’ line was classically used/parodied in Blazing Saddles: “Badges? We don’t need no stinking badges!”

    • I’ve never heard of this guy before, but I know of a Linda Bizzarro who is (or was) a politician in Louisiana. It’s not an uncommon Italian surname, apparently. Pretty cool. :^}

  5. I am only sorry that it took me until now to see the Chihuahua cartoon, it is spot on, several weeks ago I rescued a little 3 pound girl who had been badly mistreated, she is now holding me hostage and demanding hours of loving and cuddling and worming herself into my warmest sweaters (while I am wearing them.) Thanks for making me smile, it made my night.

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