Turkey Giant Litter Box


bz panel 11-27-14bz strip 11-27-14bz panel 11-28-14bz strip 11-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Get Ready For Christmas.

Here are some Thanksgiving leftovers for your amusement. When I first submitted the cartoon at left, which ran on Thanksgiving Day, my editors were worried that it was too brutal and asked if I really wanted to publish it. I did and here it is. Thus far, I have gotten one piece of angry mail from a reader who said, “you have crossed the line. Why would you have a naked black woman posed as a human Turkey? It wasn’t funny and during these times of rioting and strained race relations the last thing we need is some hack artist making disgusting drawings that demean a national holiday AND a naked black woman lying on a dinner table!” Given what this reader thought they saw, I can’t blame them at all for being incensed. The person on the table is not black, nor a woman, but is Cynthia’s husband, who presumably objected to a turkey-free Thanksgiving dinner. As a long-time animal rights advocate, I have met other activists who lose their ability to separate their hatred of cruelty from their hatred of the species that inflicts it. Cynthia is one such person who ends up losing her shit and offing her husband. Even the turkeys know this is the wrong approach. Most vegans I know do, too.

My day-after-Thanksgiving cartoon is about genetic engineering, but it isn’t about the typical subject of GMO crops. It’s about the fact that humans have engineered turkeys to grow SO much bigger than they naturally grow, so rapidly, that long before they are actually adults their legs can barely support their weight. To me, this speaks volumes about the American obsession with food. It has been my experience that outside of a few large, cosmopolitan cities on the coasts, most Americans are anywhere from noticeably overweight to morbidly obese. The fact that there are so many TV shows about cooking––and an entire cable network devoted to food––says it all. It is not a matter of opinion but that of fact that the practices we have routinely adopted for producing and consuming animal-based food are slowly killing us, destroying our environment, and causing an almost unfathomable amount of suffering among non-human animals. That’s science, not faith.

I try to stay off my soapbox about this for most of the year, but the holidays bring it out in me. I promise to lay off the topic for a while now.

My final cartoon of the week is just a chuckle about Catwoman. I hope you enjoy it.

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25 thoughts on “Turkey Giant Litter Box

  1. I wonder what the person who sent the hate mail was smoking. Even in our crummy newspaper I could clearly tell it was a white person on the plate. I wonder if someone colored it a bit in the newsroom before it went to print, be interesting to see the strip she saw… In for one snorted 7up out my nose, forgot how much that hurts, when I saw it. I have always wondered if parellel universes exist that if we eat turkey, some of us anyway, on Thanksgiving, in a place where Turkeys rule would they be at human, so thanks for finally answering that question. ;)

    GMO foods, hot topic around here where I am surrounded by farms. What I hate is they plump them up so much that when you cook them they shrink by half and you get a panfull of nasty salt water briney nastyness. Draper Valley Farms is local for me and sadly even they are resorting to GMO and plumping, so half of what you pay at $6 a pound is inedible junk, fat and bleah… I for one will stick with local grain fed, no fmo, no hormone chicken from now on , even at 9 bucks a pound its way healthier them GMO, heck I bet fast food is healthier.

    The Catwoman gag was epic today! in will never look at her the same way again. Now the bad part is I wonder who has to scoop up and clean her box after she goes? Does she taken off her costume and cuss at her alter ego? Or does she have a maid or service do it for her?!? The world may never know…Leaves it open for a entire month of super hero gags usingnspins from theirnalter egos!

    Keep them coming Dan! Love every one of them, especially the ones I have to explain to my mother. Cheers!

  2. All I noticed was that it was a human on the platter. Someone had to point out that it was a person of color. Maybe that’s significant because I have been in law enforcement for over25yrs. and I see victims and suspects; not colors.

  3. Dan, The only offense I can take is your lumping us Colorado skiers and such with the rest of the lumpies! This little rectangle of state has its share, but we are higher on the fitness scale than almost anywhere else. Come join this 76 year old meat rater and my crew of skiers from 55 to 90 this season. You are welcome any Wednesday. Just be prepared to see senior splendor on the snow! Jack

  4. I’m surprised to see you fulminate against genetic engineering and other farming practices without doing the same against pet shops! Speak of animal cruelty. I think you’ll agree: if one wants a pet, please get one at the animal shelter rather than buying one at a pet shop.

    And please, pretty please, whatever we do, do not give pets as gifts. Perhaps you should invent a few shocking cartoons along these lines. Be sure to include a person of color in it; it will ensure more controversy and thus a bigger impact. :-)

  5. Your animal-rights cartoons make me feel warm and fuzzy inside.I think I’m turning into one of those humans you spoke about,one who can no longer separate my hatred for what humans do to animals from the actual humans themselves. Would you consider a compilation book of just your animal-rights
    themed artwork?

  6. I have to say the first cartoon grossed me out a tad because it gave me a flashback to the only other image I’ve ever seen of a “cooked” man from “The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover” which ends on such an image. It is a film NOT for the faint of heart! And I think it was NC-17 to boot some 25 odd years ago…

  7. Apparently some people come from the factory equipped with spring-loaded outrage, on a hair trigger. Fortunately, in the real world we can spot them from a distance by the fact that their hair is on fire, and avoid them. In the Internet, they can get closer, as witness the complaint about the woman (no) of color (no) on the platter (well yes, the platter).

  8. Please do everything your reader’s/fans suggest with carefully not offending anyone or conflicting with any thing that is suggested. This should be easy…..There must be some other occupational scenes that could be cross purposed. Gas chamber/barber chair? Marshmallow toasting at the start of an airport runway using jet engine exhaust?

  9. I so agree with your concerns and appreciate the artistry and imagination of your work. Keep up the great work. I’m glad that the Arizona Daily Star regularly publishes your creations. What a fertile mind and open you have. Maybe due to Catwomen’s guano(/), shit or whatever descriptor is appropriate.

  10. While selective breeding can be viewed as a form of genetic engineering, the actual definition of GE only includes direct manipulation of the genome.

    But yeah… Google image search results for “natural turkey” and “turkey breeding” are a bit disgusting.

  11. The woman’s face might also be her reaction to having that particular view of supper. Not one of the more flattering angles of the human body, in my opinion.

    Although the thought of someone being roasted and served on a platter is unpleasant and it’s sad someone had to die, I would have thought that portraying a mixed-race lesbian couple would have been viewed in a slightly more positive light. :P

  12. both holiday entries work well together. You’re spot on with the American consumerism diet. I’d like to see their ovens… Thanks for speaking your mind from time to time!

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