Psychic Longneck Cat Worship

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bz panel 12-01-14bz strip 12-01-14bz panel 12-02-14bz strip 12-02-14bz panel 12-03-14bz strip 12-03-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Gun Lingo.

Does anyone out there have a modern solution to the password thing? You’re supposed to use different passwords for all your sites to reduce the possibility of having your identity stolen, but how do you remember them all? If you write them on a list, someone will steal the list and steal your life. I’ve taken to keeping a list but writing it in code. But sometimes I can’t remember what the code is. Gosh, life in the future can suck sometimes.

This giraffe gag is a bit of a throw-away joke, but I’ve always enjoyed reminding myself to look at things objectively, as though I’d never seen it before. In doing so with a giraffe, it occurred to me that no other animal resembles it; it truly looks Photoshopped.

It also occurred to me when I was writing this batch that most of the single women I’ve known (and a good number of ones in relationships) seem to nearly worship their cats. No judgement––cats are lovely creatures worth adoring––I was just wondering if there was a reason. If there is, I’ll likely never understand it, as most things about women are inscrutable to men.

SECRET TRIVIA FOR JAZZ PICKLES ONLY: I originally drew this cartoon for a different caption but it was decided it would be too incendiary in the light of current gun issues in the U.S., so it has been relegated to the Internet only. See the original caption here. Seriously, what is it about so many Americans that they equate godliness with the right to carry guns? It’s mystifying.

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20 thoughts on “Psychic Longneck Cat Worship

  1. Dan, I sort of like the original better, but I do recognize the consternation that might result. Probably not from us godless liberals. One cannot be too careful these days. Let satire ring!

  2. I think I have a simple password solution. Make a list of all passwords in an electronic file. Put a really strong password on that file. Then, essentially, there’s only one password you need to remember. That’s been my model for years. As an IT guy, I have to remember a lot of them…

  3. One way to generate a unique password for each website is to use an algorithm based on the name of the site. An easy one: Americanexpress.com: begins with A, the first letter of the alphabet

    01alfaA
    Amex0123
    01hydrogenH
    Amex01130524

    etc. Design your algorithm (needn’t be this simple) and there’s no need to memorize anything but that.

  4. Password solution:
    Make up one password – using at least one capital letter and a number since some passwords require that. Then put an underscore at the end and type the first 5 letters of the specific website you are trying to access.
    For example: Password: Bizarro72
    Facebook: Bizarro72_faceb
    Paypal: Bizarro72_paypa

  5. I use addresses I had growing up, combined with license plates of cars I’ve had.
    Of course, growing up is a relative term

  6. I dunno about the “main” thing. I’d rather use a non proprietary open-source password manager like KeePass, which I can strongly recommend!

  7. I got my first “professional” password 37 years ago. It was a good random sequence of letters and digits. My system for a long time has been to used that sequence as a core, embedded into a longer sequence that is related to the particular web site I’m logging in to, with extra fillips like repetition. So, for this site I would use my standard sequence, preceded perhaps by BB, for Bizarro Blog, in the middle or at the beginning or end. This system can be complicated by sites that require regular password changes.

    I have 1Password, but I mainly use it for storing passwords rather than generating them. I’m 65 years old, this newfangled stuff is daunting.

  8. I know that you don’t believe in God but the giraffe one is a good argument for creation. Evolutionists have yet to find a giraffe with a 1/2 formed neck or even 1/4. Almost as if a professional “created” it on photoshop just to be original. The Bible says each was created according to it’s “kind”. Just something to think about. If a photoshop needs a creator, how much more so the real thing?

  9. You could revive the killed cartoon in other ways. Maybe “until we rid the school of zero-tolerance policies, you cannot take that butter knife in your lunchbox” or “until we get rid of the squeamish, you cannot take that roadkill for school lunch” or “until we rid the country of pro-lifers, you cannot bring an aborted fetus for show-and-tell.” There are a lot of possibilities.

  10. For passwords, I use a method suggested by science fiction writer David Gerrold. Use an uncommon word you can easily remember. Add some numbers or symbols to it wherever you like. Then take an easily remembered combination of letters from the name of the site and tack that on to the end. All your passwords will start the same way, and you can easily remember a few letters in a consistent combination from the name.

    For example, you could take “StarTrek” and spell it backwards as “kerTratS” and add your birth year backwards, 8591. You could put that before or after “kerTratS” or split it up before and after, or stick it in the middle. No doubt you can come up with something a lot more obscure.

    Next, you might take four letters from each site name. Maybe take the second through fifth letters. So for Amazon.com, that would be “mazo” or you could reverse them for “ozam.” Or every other letter. Just do the same thing for every site so you don’t have to remember anything other than that first part, in this case “kerTratS5891”.

    You could also put the letters from the site name first in each password.

    As long as you remember the first part of the password plus the formula for letters from the site name, you don’t have to write anything down. Your choice of combinations, while easy to remember, are likely to be so individual that nobody would guess your passowrds.

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