Genesis Fat Brat Drugs

bz panel 12-04-14bz strip 12-04-14bz panel 12-05-14bz strip 12-05-14bz panel 12-06-14bz strip 12-06-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Man with Huge Wiener.

So I was thinking what would happen if Adam and Eve’s neighbors happened by just as they were standing naked together, talking to a snake and eating a piece of “forbidden” fruit. Now, I know in the classic version there were no neighbors because Adam and Eve were the first humans, but according to the same story, they had a couple of sons, Cain and Able, and one of them grew up and got married. So where did his bride come from? This leads me to believe that either this is a traditional myth used to teach a certain lesson, or incest was okay for a very long time (until there were enough people to find someone to mate with to whom you were not very closely related.)  Ew. I’m going to assume it is a myth.

Another myth in our culture is that women actually want your honest opinion when they ask if they look fat in something. The lady in this cartoon decides to only ask the question once, with all her dresses on at the same time. I like that idea––one question, one lie.

My final salvo this week is a cartoon with an editorial message on the childish behavior of our species toward each other, the rest of the planet’s inhabitants, and the Earth itself. I’ve been reading a lot lately about anthropology and where we went wrong, mental health in a materialistic, technological world, and the science behind spirituality. (Yes, there actually are areas where the two intersect and it is fascinating, especially to this diehard atheist.) I’ve never been so enthralled by a subject. Olive Oyl and I are currently transitioning off of our anti-depressants for good (we hope) with a fairly rigorous regimen of vitamins, minerals, exercise, and meditative practices. We’re both excited to be able to say goodbye to the sinkhole that is allopathic medicine. I’m convinced that pharmaceuticals are among the worst things ever invented by humans. Many bacteriologists are confidently predicting the end of our species will not come in the form of climate change or nuclear war, but disease  and bacteria that is smarter than us or our antibiotics. I’ll let you know how it goes (regarding our quest to be happy without pharmaceuticals, not the end of human civilization.)
BIZARCHAEOLOGY: From the year 2000 I bring you a cartoon about which I have just spoken in the paragraph above. Stay tangy, Jazz Pickles.bizarro 03-03-00WEB

15 thoughts on “Genesis Fat Brat Drugs

  1. “Pharmaceuticals are among the worst things ever invented by humans.” Really? Medicine that has helped billions of people fight off illness and remedy various physical/mental health issues are a blight on the planet?

    Honestly Dan, I’m amazed your daughters made it so far in life with an idiot like you as their father.

    • You’re completely right. My daughters are very lucky.

      On the other hand, this is a more complex subject than we have time for here. In terms of human lives, human health, and the health of the planet, we’ve done some very terrible things with pharmaceuticals. In the not-too-distant future, we may very well see catastrophic disease sweeping through populations like a flame thrower as a direct result of our actions. Hopefully not, but it’s looking more inevitable all the time. Does it surprise you to know that more people die from prescription drugs each year than illegal ones like heroin and meth? We’ve constructed a very strange and unnatural world for ourselves through our hubris and we can’t stave off the consequences of circumventing nature forever. It’s bigger and smarter than we are.

  2. The think about pharmaceuticals is that they actually work, unlike most alternatives to “allopathy” (a derogatory word for actual medicine, coined by the inventor of homeopathy, a system of fairy dust and magic water). So what do you prefer to “allopathy”? Naturopathy (a mixture of basic common sense, nutrition, and wishful thinking), homeopathy (magic water, as I’ve said), sociopathy, or psychopathy?

    • I believe in keeping well in the first place with the proper food, exercise, meditation, and being a good person, which keeps stress levels down. It’s my belief that most of America’s modern illnesses are brought on by our own bad habits, and pharmaceuticals only mask the symptoms, albeit fairly well. I disagree with your condemnation of all natural remedies as being “fairy dust.” Many pharmaceuticals are based on natural plant remedies that are then synthesized in labs so they can charge an arm and a leg for them. I’ve personally had great luck with natural remedies for certain things. Marijuana is the most useful drug for a wide variety of illnesses that I’ve ever found, yet Big Pharm, along with the Alcohol and Tobacco industries, pours tons of money into keeping it illegal. That says something. Not all allopathy is bad, not all natural remedies are bad. Depends on what ails you and why.

      In a nutshell, my biggest problem with allopathy is that it pays no attention to prevention and rarely cures. It mostly simply masks what’s wrong with you in the first place, creating a dependency on synthesized chemicals to keep you going.

  3. Sigh. I did not dismiss “natural remedies” as fairy dust, I dismissed homeopathy as fairy dust (and magic water), because that’s basically what it is. Homeopathy is based on two principles- “like cures like” (thus the name; “homo” meaning “the same”, whereas “allo” means “other”) and the idea that the more dilute a solution, the more powerful its healing properties are. So a homeopath will decide that if you’ve got a cold (with runny nose and watering eyes), the perfect cure for this is onion! And not just any onion, but a bit on onion juice that has been diluted to one part in one hundred several times. The cure for insomnia is properly-diluted caffeine, and the cure for the flu is properly-diluted duck liver. The duck liver, by the way, is generally sold a “300C” strength, which means it’s been diluted by a factor of one hundred three hundred times, and then that solution has been dribbled onto a sugar pill and allowed to evaporate. If you’re a vegan, you don’t have to worry about consuming duck liver pills, because it can be shown through basic chemistry that there’s only a few molecules of duck liver left by the eleventh dilution, and further dilution involves throwing them away.
    Natural remedies are all well and good, when they work, but the problem with herbs and plants is that the active ingredients are seldom standardized (you cite marijuana- surely you know that some joints are stronger than others?). If the active ingredient is extracted, purified, and sold as a standard dosage, well that’s a pharmaceutical. And it’s a hell of a lot better than buying a herbal supplement in a “Living Foods” store, since even the best herbal supplements vary wildly in the active ingredients (and the worst vary wildly in what plants are actually there, or what pesticides or pollutants are still on them). The FDA isn’t even allowed to check them to make sure they’re safe, because they’re “natural” (and thus not drugs) and “supplements” (and thus not food).

    The idea that actual medicine “simply masks the symptoms” is nonsense. Neither antibiotics nor vaccines (to name two of the great triumphs of pharmacy, despite the problems caused by overuse of antibiotics) will mask symptoms- they go straight to the cause. And if you start citing Wakefield’s fictitious link between vaccines and autism, I swear, I shall reach through this computer and do something violent to you.

    • You make very good points. I didn’t mean to imply that marijuana does anything more than mask symptoms, that was poor writing on my part, and antibiotics and vaccines do far more than mask symptoms, you’re right again. (Although I can’t ignore the fact that if our century-long respite from infection leads to apocalypse at the hands of bacteria, it may not have been worth it.) And, as is likely clear by my comments, I don’t actually know the difference between homeopathy and naturopathy. I don’t follow those schools of thought, I just have a vague idea of what they are about. I’m just fundamentally disenchanted with America’s health care system and the power than Big Pharm wields over us as a society. I go for natural remedies every time I can and find that they work for most things I’ve encountered. The placebo effect may be part of it but if it works, I don’t care if it is the substance or my mind doing the job. :^}

  4. Um, no, the pharmaceutical companies wouldn’t put that much effort into making marijuana illegal. If they could make a profit from it, they’d support legalization. Plus, pot only alleviates symptoms, not cures them.

    Seriously Dan, read some articles by James Randi on just how nonsensical “natural” remedies are.

  5. I’m a fan of many aspects of the Amazing Randi. I used to be a very hardcore realist but recent readings and experiences have led me to believe that there is MUCH more to the world than we perceive. Even top physicists are saying that alternate dimensions and parallel universes are not only possible but likely. I find myself being much more open to what I may not be able to perceive readily or scientifically. We may only be seeing a tiny percentage of the shadows of what exists. To a goldfish, the entire world is what’s inside their bowl.

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