Kiss Silent Cat Mouth Lantern


bz panel 12-15-14bz strip 12-15-14bz panel 12-16-14bz strip 12-16-14bz panel 12-17-14bz strip 12-17-14bz panel 12-18-14bz strip 12-18-14Bizarro is brought to you by Nose Love.

It’s been a fun week at Bizarro International Headquarters. I was recently contacted by one of my favorite authors (and minds) Chris Ryan, who wrote Sex at Dawn, and asked if I’d be on his podcast, Tangentially Speaking.  Olive Oyl and I have been following his podcasts for a some time and it has become one of our fave sites, so we were thrilled to get a chance to meet Chris and be a part of it.  He interviews some really fascinating people but somehow I slipped through the screening process. I’ll let you know when/if he actually posts it.

My first cartoon this week, the one with the Eskimo, got some questions from readers, mostly along the lines of, “Huh?” The legend is that Eskimos kiss by rubbing their noses, so in this cartoon I feature a Hershey’s Kiss chocolate candy thing in the shape of a nose. The idea belongs to my good friend, Cliff The King Of Wordplay, so if you don’t like it, blame him.

Tuesday’s cartoon is full of woe as Herb has to go through life explaining the silent “H” in his name. Plus, he smells like basil.

Wednesday’s cartoon has a clever cat attempting to trick a bird into sticking its head into his mouth. Fear not, the cat I used as a model was unharmed.

Today’s cartoon is about a lucky dog who gets a different variety of the so-called “Elizabethan collar” that dogs wear after various medical procedures. I think he looks damned festive.

Here’s a pic of Chris Ryan, Olive Oyl, and me after our podcast recording yesterday. (By the looks of this photo, I was just about to say “paparazzi.”)  He brought his cousin, Dave, and we found them both to be delightful and clean smelling.ChrisRyan

PREZARROS: From 2004 is this cartoon about Elizabethan collars for dogs. It was drawn from personal experience and is a terrific tip for saving on routine medical procedures. Just be sure they don’t give you the full neuter out of 05-07-04 vasectomyWEB


17 thoughts on “Kiss Silent Cat Mouth Lantern

  1. Love the one about silent Herb. I have a British friend whose name is Howard and another co-worker (Rick) called him “Oward with a silent H”. Sooooo, Howard started calling him “Rick with a silent P”. Solo Bueno!

  2. The Eskimo / Inuit “nose kissing” thing is so offensive I recommend you delete it from your site – and from your cartoon inventory. It is not a “legend” – it is an erroneous and culturally humiliating stereo-type. Take it off.

    • And at what point in your life did you take up arms on behalf of Eskimos? Also, are you serious or being a satire of other people who have written ridiculous complaints to me? Just checking, lest I misinterpret your intentions.

  3. Dan, I apologize deeply to both you and d.g., because that little exchange had me ROTFing.

    (Now do one about the Eskimo/Inuit custom of inviting guests to share their wives. This sounds weird to us, but imagine living in a snow house in a place where it’s Winter for eight or nine months of the year, in a small community of 20 or 30 people. Sexual tensions and jealousy could wreck a community where everyone needs to work together to survive, so it might be less stressful to share… everything. A little outsider genetic material is also welcome. The another thing about living in a place like that is that a year’s supply of chocolate noses isn’t going to melt before you can eat them.)

    • Many, if not most hunter-gatherer societies share(d) sexual partners as marriage in the current sense of the word was not invented until agriculture and the concept of ownership came into being. (Which also started the human habit of conquest and war, among other terrible things.) While Eskimos may have done this in the past as part of their culture, I’d be surprised if they still are. Just spouting off some anthropology because I’ve been reading a lot about it recently. Your points are well taken. :^}

  4. Keep the eskimoses, and the noses kiss. Some people just want to hassle you for no reason. I thought it was funny and pretty tame.

  5. In Inuit culture, kuniks are used as an expression of affection for others (but, in a non-romantic way). Most typically, kuniks are given to babies from adults. It’s a little bit like nuzzling. How it works is that the adult presses the side of his nose against the baby’s cheek and gently inhales that nice baby scent. Of course, over time, the Inuit culture has evolved to differ in different regions of the Arctic. But still, no matter where you encounter an Eskimo (should you ever encounter an Eskimo…), you’d never greet each other with an Eskimo kiss, or a kunik for that matter. Kuniks are never a romantic gesture, but it’s still kind of sweet anyway. If you’re talking romance though, then what you’re looking for would be a regular kiss. Don’t worry, I assure you that your lips won’t freeze together in the cold. Thanks Dan

  6. I understand that schools in the USA do not put much (any?) focus on Indigenous Peoples, let alone the Inuit and Innu (to name just 2 groups lumped into the “Eskimo” category (a term understood in Canada to be as erroneous and derogatory as the term “Indian”. As well, it seems to me (my opinion welcome to rebuttal) that the First Nations’ People are a lot more tolerant and understanding of such mistakes than, say Japs, Commies or Micks- to mention just a few. The “kiss”, in this case would not likely offend many; if anything it would be seen as both very funny and very romantic (perhaps a gift from a wife to her husband out on a long hunting trip).
    Which brings me to “living in snow houses”… Inuit DO NOT live in snow houses: haven’t since they became less nomadic – in which times they had structures similar to teepees. Snow houses (Igloo) are made by hunters on long hunting expeditions, usually in winter, in search of seal or fish or Narwhal at the edge of the pack ice. They build small shelters in these occasions to serve as single night dwellings on par with a hunting shack in the hillbilly woods or a tent. Their hunting trips can take weeks.
    As for “sharing their wives”, this was an extremely rare case for foreign visitors who were on the verge of freezing to death. Such an event has not been reported – or even claimed – in over 100 years. It DID NOT and has not taken place within small communities as standard practice. Nor do Inuit report it occurring in any way near the (population proportionate) levels that it currently occurs in North America’s “swinger” / “wife-swapping” circles.

    • Thanks for your comments and info, jvr. I’ve just recently read 1491, a terrific book about native peoples in the Western Hemisphere before Columbus arrived, hence the title. The author interviewed thousands of descendents of first peoples and found, to his surprise, that virtually all of them prefer standard terms like “Indian” and “Eskimo” to the more “PC” terms that have become popular recently. In deference to them, he used these terms in the book because it was their preference. I thought of that when constructing this comic. I’m no fan of PC language and feel that it is mostly propagated by guilty white liberals rather than the oppressed minorities themselves, but that’s only my impression. Regardless, I use stereotypes in my cartoons because they work and only if they are not hurtful. I can’t see any derogatory connotation to an igloo so I used it to fill out the story. The same can said of the apocryphal “Eskimo kiss.” I do appreciate your thoughtful comments, however, and am happy you enjoyed the comic in spite of its historical inaccuracies. :^}

  7. Dan, How can we educate d.g. as to the function of cartoonists and cartoons? You should, however, be looking over your shoulder for Hersey lawyers!

  8. There is a german comic artist ( that also makes one panels and often explores the fun of playing with common (also false) knowledge, myths, sayings and misconceptions. I think it’s just great to play with these even though and more BECAUSE they are often wrong!
    Also Thanks to the people here to sort things out in a contructive way!

    (btw: there is also a translated version: buuut sadly It doesn’t always work. Nah maybe this one does

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