Alien Amusements


Bizarro 02-08-15 HdrWEB Bizarro 02-08-15 WEB(To see any of these cartoons enlargered, give them a good click in the teeth.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Spot the Imposter(s).

I was abducted by extraterrestrials not long ago and while I was being whisked away to another space/time dimension, they happened to be fooling around with my cell phone and came across a cat video which they thought was hilarious and adorable. I immediately thought this might make a good cartoon if I should ever find my way back to Earth and need to write cartoons again. Long story short, in an amazing display of ingenuity, courage, and derring-do, I managed to escape captivity and find my way back to my desk in time to draw this and submit it before deadline. Man, being a cartoonist is exciting sometimes. bz panel 02-02-15bz strip 02-02-15bz panel 02-03-15bz strip 02-03-15bz panel 02-04-15bz strip 02-04-15bz panel 02-05-15bz panel 02-06-15bz strip 02-06-15

Earlier in the week, I published the following six cartoons. A couple of them inspired readers to write to me with questions and comments that I thought you might find interesting.

The one about the guy in a warehouse operating what is commonly known as a “forklift” carrying what is commonly known as a “spoon” garnered this comment:

Being a long retired “fork lift” mechanic, your “latest”, caused me to study it for the humor. So the “fork lift” is lifting the “spoon”??? They are also referred to as “Towmotors”, “lift trucks, and Lifts. So anyway I am once again reminded of the fact that “someone” will pay people for “anything”.

I’m honestly not sure if this is hate mail or not, so here’s how I responded:  I have no idea what you’re talking about here, Chuck, but at least I learned some new names for forklifts.

The cartoon published on Feb 2 with the elderly gentleman talking to his grandson attracted this comment: While I usually like your comic, today’s cartoon was in very poor taste in light of the Anthem (insurance company) hack which will affect millions of customers, and by the way, you are rewarding the little buggers for a cowardly act, in jest I know, but people now days take EVERYTHING as a cue to do a cowardly thing…

I get this kind of complaint from time to time because many people assume that joking about a crime somehow rewards/encourages criminals. I suppose anything’s possible but I think most people commit crimes for the money, not the vicarious thrill they may get from a cartoon that refers to the same kind of crime. I should bz panel 02-07-15also mention that the writer of that comment and I had a nice e-conversation about it, made up, and are on good terms. As I mentioned above, the life of a cartoonist can be very exciting.

My lastbz strip 02-07-15 cartoon of the week before the big Sunday extravaganza was this peculiar wordplay brought to me by my good friend Cliff The King Of Wordplay. Some people call any kind of pun a “groaner” but I think puns that catch you by surprise are chuckle-worthy, so I soldier on undaunted. This one is especially funny to me because I’ve been reading a lot about hunter/gatherer societies both past and present. The more I read, the more I lament that we ever became “civilized.” Too late now, of course.

Have a zesty week, Jazz Pickles!


12 thoughts on “Alien Amusements

  1. We are a civilized species, Dan. Just get your head out of your own ass and stop smelling your own shit and you can see that for yourself.

    Seriously, why are you such an arrogant, misanthropic asshole?

  2. Maybe you could *patent* a spoon lift! Or, the line could be “You’re lifting the wrong thing!” (with a pile of forks in the background). Then, as I am sure you know, *nobody* could complain.

    OTOH, I do like to think I can complain better than nobody. I certainly run faster than nobody. But someone can run faster than I can. Nobody is home tonight – he knows it is futile to race me.

    Mostly I grin widely at your cartoons, but I literally (not in the new sense, but in the old sense) laughed out loud (not some weak-*ssed LOL, either) at hunter gatherers.

    Thank you.

  3. Dan, Your comics are always excellent, but the 2/11/15 offering was truly brilliant. Having toured the Smithsonian Museum of Modern Art and being treated to a nail in a jar of liquid [exactly what liquid is unknown] as art, your take on the subject is inspired. We could use another thousand of such art critics.

  4. Dan, enjoy your comic immensely. However I am expecting something spectacular in 30 days. Of course I’m referring to Pi day which is especially meaningful this year. Looking forward to 3/14/15 at 9:26:53, DON”T LET US DOWN!

    • John, he might have to come up with double the Pi day cartoon hoo haw because 3/14/15 9:26:53 will occur twice that day! The pressure is really on.

  5. In response to the bewildered “long retired fork lift mechanic”, and to further confound him, thanks for sharing the firk loft insight. And I presume that giant spoon is a prop from the Jan. 21st Claes Oldenburg Building gag going back into the Bizarro warehouse.

    I wonder if fork lift operators have trouble snuggling their wives in bed: “Ouch! Honey, can’t we just spoon like normal couples?”

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