Yuck It Up!


Bizarro 05-03-15 hdrWEb(For a bigger-looking cartoon, click it!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Millennial Confusion.

If you’ve ever been to the taping of a TV show, you know that those with live audiences are driven like slaves building the pyramids to laugh and applaud and hoot and holler and gasp Bizarro 05-03-15 WEBand whistle as though they’re having the times of their lives. The less funny the show is, the harder the audience wrangler has to work. It’s just one more aspect of TV that isn’t what it seems, like the scripting and multiple takes on “reality” TV shows. While I think this is notable and funny, I don’t actually think it is wrong. TV shows of this sort are theater, and by definition, aren’t meant to be real.

To be upset that the laughs on a sitcom are added electronically or the arguments on Real Housewives of New Jersey are scripted is like being upset that Scarlet Johansson isn’t really a martial artist. What is upsetting, however, is when shows portraying themselves as journalism are finagled for the sake of ratings. That happens a lot, too.

Going back in time (not really, cartoons are a kind of drama, too) let’s review last week’s gags…

bz panel 04-27-15Monday: Town criers used to play the same role as a newspaper so this one is adding a crossword puzzle to his format. I resisted having him describe a Garfield cartoon.






Tuesday: You bz panel 04-28-15may not get this gag if you’ve never heard the expression, “I’ll dance on your grave,” which is used in an effort to express to someone how much you dislike them. I’ve never actually said this but I’ve thought it bz panel 04-29-15a few times.




Wednesday: I’ve often looked at thrones in museums and wondered how anyone could comfortably sit in one of those things for five minutes, much less for as long as it takes to declare war on a neighboring kingdom or hear a peasant’s request for justice. Today’s thrones are much more user friendly.


bz panel 04-30-15Thursday: This is one of those rare cartoons that was inspired by my own personal experience –– I got an email from a Nigerian prince once and was almost eaten by a cat.






bz panel 05-01-15Friday: This hasn’t ever happened to me but it is weird when you get to an age where many doctors and all cops are younger than you.







bz panel 05-02-15Saturday: I think a treadmill for a tightrope walker is amusing. I wonder if there’s a stationary machine of some kind for trapeze artists to use.

Here’s another treadmill gag of mine from a while back that I also like.

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11 thoughts on “Yuck It Up!

  1. Boy, have I got a bundle of panel ideas for you! If I could only get it together to email them to you!

  2. You ought to market that treadmill idea. I am right there with you about doctors being younger than I am.

  3. Just a technical note: the embiggening by clicking isn’t working on several today’s collection, including the main Sunday panel.

    • So sorry. After a site-wide hack a while back they installed some new security stuff or soemthing and we’ve had a plague of problems with the site since then. Every week they work out more bugs. I’m hoping it’s back to normal soon.

  4. I had a realtor older than me that during the home inspection was pulling up stuff on her phone. I thought to myself, “I don’t care about that. I’m focused on this inspection!”

  5. Beheading of the former throne maker is probably a bit harsh, but not as cruel as being strapped in the old throne for 30 days.

  6. I am an Unpaid Professional Audience Person. Our union – Fraternal Order of Unpaid Audience Persons, or FOUPAP – requires that we don’t get paid.
    I can tell you that those Audience Wranglers either love us (since we are professionals) or hate us (since we are professionals). And they always make me take off my Museum Guard jacket.

  7. Was just talking to an old classmate from the University of Hawaii and found out their local paper has Prince Valiant but not Bizarro! But he’s happy to have found your blog. Me? I miss Prince Valiant, Terry and the Pirates, Steve Canyon, etc. It would be great to see Dragon Lady in one of your cartoons!! BTW, you remain brilliant!!

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