Crime Giggles


Bizarro 05-10-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Mother’s Day Hat.

My big Sunday Comics gag today is okay, I guess, but for my money there’s just as much fun to be had in the small background gags. There are also 10 Secret Symbols to search for. If you’re not sure you know what all of my Secret Symbols are, click here.  If you click the cartoon (and this damn blog is working properly) you’ll get an enlarged view for better examination. I hope it pleases you.

Let’s talk now about my cartoons of the past week. bz panel 05-04-15 bz panel 05-05-15 bz panel 05-06-15 bz panel 05-07-15 bz panel 05-08-15 bz panel 05-09-15

Monday’s child is full of twerk: To someone my age, mid-fifties, this thing the youngsters call “twerking” is the opposite of sexy. In fact, it is hilarious. Like naked-guy-with-a-shiny-tourist-sombrero-and-black-socks hilariously unsexy. No matter how young you are right now, if you live long enough a younger generation will adopt some kind of fashion or activity that you will think is hilariously stupid, but they’ll think is cool. It’s just a law of physics. To get a jumpstart on dealing with it, do this simple exercise now––imagine the stupidest, most embarrassing fashion or activity that you can, one that you would rather die than be caught in public wearing or doing. THAT is what will be in style when you’re older.

Tuesday’s child is worth a smirk: I found out not long ago that “service animals” are not just used for obvious things like guiding the blind, but also for people who have severe anxiety issues and find that an animal calms them. I immediately wondered what would happen if the animal that calmed that one person made everyone else panic.

Wednesday’s child is in withdrawal: When society collapses and the electrical grid is out and cell phones and computers don’t work, the current generations being raised on constant contact with the entire world will suffer severe withdrawal. Not if, when. It might look something like this.

Thursday’s child had a nasty fall: I guess when I wrote this batch I was thinking a lot about our collective addiction to apps like Twitter and FacadeBook. “Josh” isn’t a specific person, I chose it simply because I wanted a name that is common among a certain age group that might contain members with the type of mindlessness that this character is exhibiting. My favorite part of this cartoon is the look on Descartes’ face.

Friday’s child is losing feathers: What about a parrot who talks more than his human? Is that funny? I thought it kind of was and so did my German penpal, Michael Roth, who suggested the setup.

Saturday’s child is vulnerable to the weather: In line with the philosophical subject matter of Thursday’s cartoon, I raise the question of how well a person who needs to hide actually wants to hide. No particular reason. I didn’t do anything recently that would land me in a witness protection program. Seriously, I’ve just been minding my own business and not bothering anyone.

That’s it for today. Later this coming week I’ll likely be making a dandy announcement about some new stuff so come back with your eyes in a few days and have a gander.



24 thoughts on “Crime Giggles

  1. the old Walmart here used to have a handwritten sign on one of its door that read “no pets, only CNI dogs allowed”.

    I wanted to get a tag with CNI for my dog and bring her there

    apparently someone was doing exactly what they were told to write

  2. Love it.I actually found something similar in a park in Wellington, New Zealand. It was a brass historical marker which read “On this spot on (I forget the date, 1886) nothing of any particular significance happened.”

  3. Another interpretation of the parrot gag: since parrots tend to learn to say things that they hear often, I was thinking that that was what the mime’s now-ex-wife used to say.

  4. Now that you’ve addressed Descartes famous “I think there for I am, Facebook be damned”, how about an inspired look at “Pascal’s Wager”?

  5. on twerking:
    lol I am no “youngster” and I attended a twerking workshop – I have to tell you – it brings your body pure joy. twerking is funny too, not dead serious like in “I am about to go 9 and a half weeks” on you. or whatever shades there are. (see, not a youngster)

    its fun and very body freeing – it activates your lower half – and ifsurrounded by the right people it really can help u lose shame about your body and its need to move.

    so yeah, I personally am not interested if “the twerk” seems sexy to somebody else. :)
    I suggest u go and try it outn a workshop.. I dare you! ;)

    • Thanks so much for your comments! I have no doubt it can be a fun exercise and I congratulate you for pursuing it. My comments were directed more at the young folks who do it at nightclubs and in music videos and the like. I was dragged to such a place not long ago (I loathe nightclubs that feature loud music and dancing) and saw quite a few examples of it firsthand. The perpetrators didn’t seem to see any humor in it and appeared dead serious. But I suppose it’s no different than the way any older generation sees a younger generation’s dances. I’m just becoming a codger. :^}

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