Silly Sauce

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Bizarro is brought to you today by My Dad and Me in 1974.Bizarro 06-21-15 hdrWEB Bizarro 06-21-15 WEBIf you’re wondering what this gag is about, it may be because you don’t know that an Appaloosa is a popular breed of horse. I only know this because I watched a lot of westerns with my dad when I was a kid, which, from my perspective, makes this a good cartoon for Father’s Day. Over the years I’ve often put a “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!” message along the border of my cartoons for this day but in this case I was unaware it would be Father’s Day when this published (I’m required to submit Sunday cartoons many weeks ahead of the print date) so it didn’t happen. Doesn’t mean I don’t love you, Dad!bz panel 06-15-15I’m not normally jealous of the lives of cats, but when I see them sleeping I often wish I could be as comfortable as they obviously are. The key is flexibility, I think, and I’ve never been a flexible person. I’ve been taking yoga a few times a week now for nearly three years and though I’ve improved a LOT, I’m still not very flexible by human standards. Just genetically cursed in that regard, I think.bz panel 06-16-15This dental one is a goofy gag and a goofy drawing but it made me chuckle so I offer it to you. Sometimes goofy is just what I need. On a side note, “Gene” seems like a terribly “white” name, doesn’t it? I’m guessing there aren’t many black men named Gene.bz panel 06-17-15One of the things I enjoyed about the many westerns I watched as a kid was the seemingly magical ability of Indians to track people. I especially liked it when they would put their ear to the ground and tell you how many riders were coming and how close they were. What?! I’m guessing that was a Hollywood fabrication but maybe some people could actually do that, what do I know?bz panel 06-18-15I like this gag a lot because I’ve always thought that the “official” American attitude towards sex and nudity causes a lot more problems than it solves. Having been raised in such a sexually repressive and puritanical society, I find myself uncomfortable with it, too, but that doesn’t keep me from seeing how ridiculous it is. Like author Chris Ryan, PhD., (Sex at Dawn) I suspect that the societal sexual oppression of teenage boys is what causes a lot of misogyny and abuse of women. If teenagers (of both sexes) were allowed to experiment with sex with proper birth control and disease protection, but without the negative stigma of labels like “slut” and all the antiquated religious nonsense that we’ve whipped up over the centuries, people would be better adjusted and society would be subjected to less aberrant behavior. Just my humble opinion.bz panel 06-19-15I first submitted this cartoon back in the 2000s, during W. Bush’s presidency and amid his whirlwind of lies about Iraq. My editor at that time wouldn’t let me publish it because he said I couldn’t say, in effect, that the president was full of shit, as it would lead to cancellations in conservative markets. Times have changed, however, and this time the cartoon sailed through without so much as an eyebrow twitch. I don’t know if it is because liberals are much less sensitive to derision than their conservative counterparts (which I believe is true) or if it is just a less controversial notion that all politicians lie. Back then, many Americans were on a patriotic witchhunt for anyone not supporting the war, too, so that might have been part of it. The editor who made that decision passed away some years ago so I can’t ask him.bz panel 06-20-15My last offering this week is this lovely festival queen. No back story here, just a little giggle.

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27 thoughts on “Silly Sauce

  1. With respect to your question about putting your ear to the ground to hear “how many riders and how far away” they are: As kids we used to roam in the woods behind our neighborhood. In the middle of the woods there was a half-mile long railroad bridge with just one track. Once we were on the bridge there was no getting off once a train came at you. We found that by putting our ear on the track we could hear the rumble of an on-coming train from far enough away to stay off the bridge until the train passed.

    • One day, the Lone Ranger is riding along the trail, and he finds Tonto- laying in the road with his ear pressed on the ground.
      Tonto: “Stagecoach come this way, 20 minutes ago. Little fat man on reins- tall skinny man riding shotgun- three passengers in the coach.”
      The Lone Ranger: “Wow- you know all that by putting your ear to the ground!?!”
      Tonto: “No- they just ran over me!”

  2. Wonder why the women in the last comic are left-handed. Not that I’m anti-lefty, just couldn’t help noticing it.
    Also, the blue dress in the same comic – I’d love to see that on the red carpet! :-)
    I”ve loved your art-work for quite a few years now, but now you’re seriously encroaching on designer territory! he he.

    • I wondered if anyone would notice that. Good eye! I originally drew the comic the other way around but decided to reverse it at the last minute (on computer, after it was already colored and ready to go.) It’s always best to have the punch line––in this case the image of the tattered queen––as far toward the end of the reader’s experience as possible, which in this country is to the right. :^}

  3. In Texas the word BUSH means “stepped in shit” that’s why the one ass left in Florida is not using his last name. We as Americans can not be bushwacked again

  4. Hi Dan,
    One question…
    Why are the two ladies in the cactus queen panel about to shake with their left hands? Was it a creative decision?
    Love your work, by the way.
    Cheers

    • I wondered if anyone would notice that. Good eye! I originally drew the comic the other way around but decided to reverse it at the last minute (on computer, after it was already colored and ready to go.) It’s always best to have the punch line––in this case the image of the tattered queen––as far toward the end of the reader’s experience as possible, which in this country is to the right. :^}

    • I published this comic during the Obama administration, so I don’t think your accusation that I’m ignoring his administration’s lies has much weight. In my text I also said “all politicians lie”. Read much?

  5. Dan- The high point for me this week was the political cartoon
    suggesting the White House Press room is “full of it”….
    ….Some of my favorite cartoonists fall in the political opinion
    category (Ted Rall & Matt Bors for example)-But your late
    editior was probably right- It WOULD have lost you sales in
    conservative papers and – Rall and Bors make far less money
    than less political cartoonists (like Bizarro and Pearls Before
    Swine for example ( my 2 favorite “must read” daily cartoon
    strips by far )…Yes (- HELL Y ES !) Bush and Cheney both deserved
    every dog turd ever thrown at them, and ( to a lesser extent)
    so does Barry ‘O when he mentions “Using Chemical warfare is
    crossing a red line” and “Dang!- I ‘m really good at Drone warfare’ aren’t
    I ?”…As to choosing a 3rd member of the House of Bush for Prez
    I find that repugnant also but am equally unhappy having to pick
    Hillery as the lesser of 2 evils (I’d vote for Sanders in a heart beat ,
    but isn’t that a million-to -one shot?)…See what i mean? Politics
    are inherently a dirty losing heart -break.ing business..
    ….Our first great humorist,Mark Twain.

    had it right- (the majority of) our politicians are the
    most worthless people on Earth….Best to let sleeping hogs lye …
    (and lie and lie and lie)…..

    • *Oops, Bizarro—I just rode a 150-mile, one-day charity bicycle ride, so my brain’s a bit addled at the moment.

  6. I also wanted to mention Gene Gene the Dancing Machine, who had an interesting life and groundbreaking career (the first African-American member of the International Alliance of Theatrical and Stage Employees, Local 33) before his shufflin’ style became one of The Gong Show’s least awful bits. He passed away earlier this year at the age of 82. More here: http://www.metafilter.com/147955/Gene-Gene-the-Dancing-Machine-has-died

    And yes, I thought of him specifically when I saw the “Hi, Gene… Hi, Gene” comic.

    As for the “manure du jour” comic, I seriously suspect that members of the “not-liberal press” were as delighted by it now as they would’ve been offended by it during the Bush Jr. Administration (I don’t care how he tried to cover it up, he’ll always be a Jr. to me, like Frank Sinatra Jr.). And as for his ambitious brother, wasn’t his repurposing his initials (J.E.B.) into a nickname the inspiration for Arrested Development’s GOB Bluth?

    Anyway, have a nice week and keep your Appa Loosa!

  7. Glad to see comments from liberal readers! I don’t remember Gene Gene the Dancing Machine… but I do remember the Gong Show. I do have a cousin name Gene (white) but his full name is Eugene.
    Love the Miss Cactus pageant winner. Super gag.

  8. “I don’t know if it is because liberals are much less sensitive to derision than their conservative counterparts (which I believe is true)”

    Well, then we’ll have to decide if you know “jack” or “shit” or (most likely) a combination of both.

  9. “… unaware it would be Father’s Day …” — So the date at the bottom of each strip is not in your own hand-printing?

    “… aren’t many black men named Gene …” — jazz Pianist Gene Harris immediately comes to mind. And reminding me of Gene Gene … brought a smile to my memory.

    “… experiment with sex with proper birth control and disease protection …” — And if they weren’t taught from babyhood that seeing a naked body is the next worst thing to death and taxes, then they wouldn’t be so eager to — oh, never mind. It’ll never come to pass in the USA.

    Larry, Bernie Sanders is getting to be less of a longshot as the days go by. Remember Hillary was the “leading candidate” at about this time eight years ago, too.

  10. Dan,

    I think the link to the picture of you and your dad has been hacked –
    when I click it I get an old photo of Richard Simmons and Jon Lovitz

    JK

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