X-ray Hijinks

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(For the making of biggerized pictures, click them with the thingy.)Bizarro 08-30-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Where Did I Put My Keys?

Bizarro 08-30-15 WEBSince I hate the TSA security protocols at airports so much (and commercial airlines themselves, come to think of it) I really like this gag. Three of my favorite things about it are the ancillary gags, however. The two signs near the X-ray machine and the “secret symbol” on the X-ray screen itself. Click the image to view it larger and you’ll be able to see this stuff. I also really love the title panel, which is a small part of an old Sunday cartoon I did in 2009 in collaboration with a buddy of mine, Victor Rivera.

And now, the week’s rundown…

bz panel 08-24-15Monday’s comic has us revisiting that familiar childhood situation of trying to convince your mom you’re too sick to go to school. This clammy little fellow is striking out.

bz panel 08-25-15A week doesn’t go by that I don’t find myself irritated by the absurd legal culture of the U.S.  Virtually everyone doing business here lives in fear of being sued over the stupidest things and so must go to ludicrous and childish lengths to protect themselves. The result is that there is so much superfluous information that few people bother to wade through the idiocy to find the stuff they might actually need to know.

bz panel 08-26-15I got an angry email from a reader about this “explosive” cartoon. She was concerned that with all the terrorism and violence in the world, this cartoon was a bad influence on children. I’m not sure how that equates but my inspiration for this cartoon wasn’t terrorism but rather the hot temper I inherited from my father. When we were younger, we were both prone to launch into irrational, narcissistic rages from time to time. Maturity and anti-depressants eventually (all but) cured us, I’m happy to say. Although my partner, Olive Oyl, can attest to the fact that I can still be a real asshole now and then.

bz panel 08-27-15I actually expected to get a bit of bad mail about this capital punishment gag but I did not. By the way, I’m against capital punishment, not because I believe that everyone has a right to live but because I think it holds violence up as an official and sanctioned solution to certain problems. I suspect living under a government that sanctions violence breeds more violence on the personal level by its citizens. I’d like to read more about both sides of this philosophy before making up my mind for good, however.

bz panel 08-28-15I’m quite happy with this Star Trek gag. “Are we there yet” cartoons are pretty common so it’s fun to find a new and clever way to present it. Here’s the other favorite gag of mine in this category.

bz panel 08-29-15If you don’t get this last gag of the week, it is likely because you’ve never heard of or your mind is not recalling Right Guard antiperspirant.

Thanks for reading, Jazz Pickles. Hope you have a terrific week ahead!

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26 thoughts on “X-ray Hijinks

  1. I’m a Scandinavian working as a linguist, and I get to translate a LOT of user manuals and that stuff that no one ever reads: End-User Licence Agreements. And as such, I can honestly tell you, mr. Piraro, that when it comes to covering their asses, Americans are the experts. Basically all such papers can be summarized as: Whatever you do, whatever happens, it’s your fault, not ours. So that footstool gag, I can completely relate to it.

  2. The problem I have with Wednesday’s cartoon is getting a true count of the secret symbols. How many sticks of dynamite are there really? Hmmm? More than the five closest to us!
    So the count us MORE than 6 – MORE than the five sticks of dynamite plus the eyeball behind the bowl on the mantle. In fact, there’s even a HIDDEN EYEBALL among the curled dynamite wires!
    MR. PIRARO – I THINK YOU ARE PURPOSELY TRYING TO GET US TO BLOW UP WORKING ON THIS.
    (And it seems to be working. I’ll take my medication now.)

    • I’m with you, Mr. Guard. Obviously, Mr. P. can count his symbols any way he wants to, but ambiguity drives some of us crazy. Thanks, BTW, for mentioning the eyeball among the wires — the dynamite count had led me to quit looking, so I had missed that one.
      It could be argued (by obsessives like myself) that none of the dynamite sticks should be counted because (A) they are an integral part of the cartoon, and (B) none have a lit fuse!
      My count is 2, dammit!
      Alas, none of my medications are for mental/emotional issues, and likewise I am not in therapy. {:^(

    • Yes, I had a bit of anxiety trying to decide how many to count but decided to go with the visible full sticks in the front. The hidden eyeball in the wires is a new one on me. :^}

  3. I guess my age is showing…I laughed out loud at the Right Guard humor. Also, I love Wizard of Oz humor soooo much! Keep it coming!

  4. Love the attention to cartooning detail in the Star Trek. That whole shimmery, teleporty thing is excellent. What a pro you are.
    As for the foot stool one, now you just need the version based on TV ads for drugs – “Deaths have been reported among people using this medication.” But you’ve probably already nailed that one too.

  5. One warning about the Foot Stool you missed: “Do not place directly ON feet”.

    And other questions that could be asked in the final cartoon: “Are you guys also members of the National Guard? Did you guys play basketball in school.. if so, what position? Did you like that Guardians of the Galaxy movie?” And if this had happened in England… “Which newspaper do you read?” http://www.theguardian.com/

  6. Re: “absurd legal culture of the U.S.”
    There is actually a sticker on my window that says WARNING OPEN WINDOWS CAN BE HAZARDOUS

  7. I have come to oppose capital punishment for two reasons: (1) There have been too many cases where the “criminal” has later been proven innocent. (2) For many of the really bad guys, death is the easy way; I would prefer to make them suffer through lifetime in some really nasty prison, without public health care.

  8. Great stuff as always, you have a unique sense of humor which shines through in every strip. Reminds me of the absurdist style of Mitch Hedberg.

  9. regarding legal bullstuff: Harbor Freight sold a set of cast iron cookware which included on the disclaimer: “Do not operate under the influence of alcohol.” I didn’t buy them. I can’t cook with that particular restriction.

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