Foot Odor

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Bizarro 10-25-15 HdrWEB

(If you enjoy the embiggenation of cartoons, click on them.)Bizarro 10-25-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Seats Are Cheaper On The Wing.

There have been a few “Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe” cartoons over the span of my 87 year career as a cartoonist and this is arguably one of them. Here is another one that is built on the same premise but leaves less to the imagination.

bz panel 10-19-15

Here’s one built on a combination of the myths of Noah’s ark and the commercial airline industry. Myths can teach us important things about ourselves and our world, they only become dangerous when you believe them to be literally true. Like believing the TSA can keep us safe or that commercial airlines have anything even remotely approaching fair pricing policies.

bz panel 10-20-15

I’m not sure what got into me when writing this cartoon or exactly what it means. I think I was just riffing on the way we quite naturally anthropomorphize our pets and imagine we understand their behavior and motives. But then it turned into some lame statement about how unnatural our lives have become. I am one who believes that other animals are far more like us than not like us in some ways, and very unlike us in others. I know, that doesn’t tell you much at all. I also think that our species’ behavior since the Industrial Revolution has caused the Earth to find ways of drastically reducing our numbers and that we will very likely, very soon be returned to a more primitive, dystopian world to live in, one in which we “first world” citizens will be painfully ill prepared to compete.

bz panel 10-21-15

If you don’t understand this Olive Oyl’s Cafe joke you either have not noticed that the door is less than half the size of a normal commercial door, or you are on another web page right now and not even looking at this cartoon. Here in the U.S., obesity has become epidemic. I was in an all-you-can-eat restaurant in Oklahoma not long ago and was alarmed at the average size of the people there. If you live in those places you become used to it––studies have shown that the parents of obese children almost always think they look normal. And in those places, of course, normal-sized people look emaciated to the locals. (I’m using the term “normal” to refer to the size that humans with adequate diet and exercise have been for millions of years. The new normal in places like the U.S. is about a third bigger than that.)

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This gag may look like a political statement but it is actually just a bit of fun with ducks and things named Donald. But, WOW, it is actually beginning to look like Donald Trump will be the Republican nominee! It certainly says a lot about the depth of insanity that the Republican Party has descended into. I daresay that former Republican presidents and luminaries from more reasonable times are spinning in their graves at the possibility. I think it is important to note that if it weren’t for corporate propaganda machines like Murdoch’s FOX News Channel, he’d never have gotten this far. The average person would never run that far down a blind alley without being led by misinformation. I suspect most thinking Republicans are disappointed by the party’s lack of good candidates, too.

My uneducated opinion, of course, and one that will likely lose me some readers.
bz panel 10-23-15

I quite enjoy the ludicrous setup of this truck crash cartoon but am sorry that I’ve got to discuss it the day after the tragic events at Oklahoma State University yesterday. I extend my heartfelt sympathy to all involved.
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My youngest daughter is getting married next weekend (on Halloween––they’re calling it a Hallowedding) and I seriously doubt they’ll use this strange, archaic line from traditional weddings. But I’ve heard it used before and have always wished someone would speak up, just to spice things up a bit. “Uh, excuse me for butting in but he’s already married to me and these are our seven young’ns.” Or, “That’s not a woman, that’s an orangutan in a wedding dress.”  The ensuing chaos as the orangutan attempts to escape and the congregation panics would be much more entertaining than the average wedding. My daughter’s is a costume wedding, so it should be pretty fun. I’ll post pics in a week or so.

Thanks for reading, Jazz Pickles. Hope you have a dandy pre-Halloween week!

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25 thoughts on “Foot Odor

  1. A page of 5-star cartoons. Perhaps my favorite is the existentialist extravaganza you present in Item 3.

    Actually I just wanted to tell you that today I am wearing my Jazz Pickles long-sleeved black T-shirt, which I am able to wear because I have lost 25 of the pounds I acquired at such places as the famous American All You Can Eat Buffet and Carbo Carnival restaurants, see Item #4, above. :D I’ve also got a short-sleeved in red. Big Love.

  2. IMHO, *every* wedding is a “costume wedding”, especially the more traditional ones. Of course, for me, anything other than shorts and a t-shirt is a costume.

  3. Congratulations on your son-in-law to be.

    By the way, I think there’s a typo near the top. I think it’s been a 78 year career, not 87.

    (And a great week of cartoons, of course.)

    • Don’t you mean 870 year? Isn’t that how you stay so thin, Dan? I think that’s older than Noah and Methuseleh.
      :D

  4. WOW! -What a GREAT week it was for your Bizarro cartoons
    Dan- (ALL of them out of sight)… I think I liked the Darn Old Duck one the best (…Heee/heee/heee…
    – “Donald Duck is easy- do Donald Trump!”)…
    …BUT ( and this is a Big Butt)- that one will surely/most likely
    get you into trouble (as most Repugs seem to be totally lacking
    in a sense of humor…..Regards and keep them coming- Larry w

  5. OPPs- Forgot to mention that I appreciated that you went to the trouble
    to draw “Donald Duck” in the original 1930’s pre-Carl Barks’ style…
    -DUDE!!!! – You can be so cool with little things like that.. Larry w

  6. We all need something to laugh at and the Republican must be proud. How so many assholes get banded together so easily is beyond logic. Brain washing lives on.

  7. I’m no longer republican, but the vast majority of my Republican friends and acquaintances think Trump is stupid. I’m surrounded by conservatives, and I only know of one person who actually takes Trump seriously. That gives me some hope, though I still can’t believe he’s the frontrunner.

    • I get what you’re saying. I don’t know a lot of Republicans but I suspect most of them think Trump is a jackass, which he most certainly and unapologetically is. The fact that he’s still a frontrunner is evidence that the Republicans just don’t have any idea who they are as a party anymore and therefore no serious candidates. Makes for very entertaining debates, however. :^}

  8. Big light in sky slated to appear in East.
    Sonic booms scare minority groups in Sector B.
    And there’s hamburger all over the highway in Mystic, Connecticut.
    Those are the headlines and now the rumors behind the news.

    (Sorry — just having a “Firesign Theatre” flashback there. I’m OK now.)

  9. This is the third time that I recall that you and Wiley Miller have done a very similar gag on the day. This time it is 26-OCT-2015. In my paper (the “Concord Monitor”) your single panel and Wiley’s are side by side. Pretty odd when the long lead times you guys work under is factored in. And if that’s not odd enough, the same day’s “Beetle Bailey” has the punch line: “When it comes to sarge, honesty is not the best policy”. You can see how conspiracy theories get started.

    • These kinds of coincidences are taken routinely in stride by those of us in the cartoon industry. It’s understandable, however, how many people think we are in cahoots or stealing from each other. One thing humans have been really good at for at least thousands of years is spotting patterns and building stories around their meaning. Sometimes a good thing, sometimes not. :^}

  10. Dan, thanks for cracking me up again. Not that I’m not already cracked up, but I’m certainly not all I am cracked up to be. Few of us are.

    Seven straight shots of laughter, undiminished by a descent into party politics and America’s obesity problem. I could say I spend my couch potato days in front of CNN getting the truth, but that might not be the full truth. Of course we know our Democratic politicians and Prez candidates always tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. But as I was saying, thanks for the laughs.

    Congratulations are in order to your family!

    • Sorry, but I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. I posted last Sunday and that one is still there. I’ve not posted since.

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