Island Fad

Bizarro 12-06-15 hdrWEB

(To begin the embiggenation process, click any cartoon.)

Bizarro 12-06-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Bizarro Nativity Scene 2011.

I have an OCD issue with music. At almost all times when I am awake, a song is playing in my head and it drives me nuts. So drawing this cartoon (and typing this post about it) is a painful experience because I cannot stop that horrible song about the Island of Misfit Toys from playing on a loop. All I have to do is look at this picture and I hear the music. Unfortunately, looking away from the picture does not make it stop. Accordingly, I have no tolerance for any of those Xmas TV specials I grew up with; they haunt me.

If you’ve no idea what this cartoon refers to, it’s a satire of the ancient classic Christmas TV show, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”.  Oh, and “fitbit” is some kind of electronic bracelet that tells you things about your health or something. I hear they’re very popular.

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This cartoon has nothing to do with Xmas other than it also features a joke about a fairy tale. If, like me, you’re not into the whole holiday thing, you might enjoy this Bizarro cartoon from Xmas past.

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I’d love to do this with a hidden camera at a fancy-schmancy restaurant. But I probably never will.

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Very few people realize how good German Shepherds are at disguises. I used to have one that looked just like a Papillon. (Which means “butterfly” in French but is also the name of a ridiculous breed of lap dog.) I named him “Steve” because Steve McQueen starred in a film of the same name, which had nothing to do with dogs.

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And the name of the room is…

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If you don’t follow politics you may not be aware that one of the Republican frontrunners for president is a former brain surgeon named Ben Carson who is famous for knowing very little about anything other than brain surgery. He thinks the pyramids were built by Joseph, a character in the Old Testament, to store grain in spite of the fact that this is not and could not possibly have been remotely true. Upon being corrected, he insisted that it was a matter of opinion and that his had not changed. He also believes the Bible is the literal word of the one true god, and an infallible source of history. And there are people who want him to lead the most powerful nation on earth. Have we learned nothing from history about the effectiveness of religion as a political platform? (Crusades, Northern Ireland, Israel, the entire Middle East, ISIS, etc.)

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This cartoon about Colonel Sanders confused some folks so here’s the secret: pronounce “jolonel” the way you would “colonel”. This dandy bit of wordplay about the colonel and his infolonel jolonel comes from the left frontal lobe of my longtime good buddy, Cliff Harris, known to Jazz Pickles as The King Of Wordplay.  A few months ago I told you about the opportunity to get your name in his new book of wordplay jokes, “But I Hardly Even Know Her,” by supporting his Kickstarter campaign. I’m pleased to report that he reached his goal, thanks to the generosity of Jazz Pickles around the world, and the book is now in print!  You can order a copy through Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1942600445/sr=8-2/qid=1446498838/ref=olp_product_details?ie=UTF8&me=&qid=1446498838&sr=8-2

Also, check out Cliff’s website, where you can learn more about the book and even get a chance to have your joke included in volume two!

http://www.butihardlyevenknowher.com/

Also also, here’s a great place to get a unique Bizarro gift for yourself or someone special. Super-nice, signed, limited-edition prints of some of my favorite cartoons from a gallery in LA. You (or that other person) will love it!

Have a good week, Jazz Pickles! See you soon!

24 thoughts on “Island Fad

  1. The FedEx gag cracked me up and then noticing 12/30/15? Blew beer out of my nose. A nice double whammy for Sunday… Thank you!

  2. The Humpty Dumpty one was brilliant but the shot at Carson and his wacky view about the pyramids is GENIUS!!! As to your friend Cliff Harris, surely he has heard the joke that contained one of my fav ever lines wherein a hammer-wielding superhero who has introduced himself to someone with a wicked lisp is told “YOU’RE Thor? THOR??? I’m tho thor I can hardly PITH!!” LOL

  3. Hi Dan, If it’s any help, I have had the same issue with music. I could still hear every note and lilt from the singer’s voice of the guitar or other instrument of any piece of music I heard – especially if I’d paid any attention to it – even 20 years later.
    I got rid of it by giving myself a pause of a couple of years from listening to any kind of music (by choice, not environmentally imposed, say in an elevator or whatever), then redoubled my effort in meditative practices. It gradually wiped out the impressions from the music. I can revisit the state if I want, but have otherwise left it behind.
    Thanks for all of the humor you’ve brought to the world. I appreciate it.

  4. A really great week all around, but if the pyramid cartoon is not a top candidate for cartoon of the year (if there is such a thing) then there is no justice in the world.

  5. Today’s comic about the self-help book cracked me up. I used to go into book stores and purposely go up to an employee of the store and ask to be shown the self-help section. Sometimes the employee would get it, sometimes not.

  6. A bit behind the last couple weeks, but I love these, Dan. I know “we’re a couple of misfits,” and as much as I hate to bring that up… give it some sleep tonight and hopefully another tune will replace it mañana. After all, “there’s always tomorrow.”

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