Turkey Toys


Bizarro 12-13-15 hdrWEB

(To enlargefy any image, click any character’s nose.)Bizarro 12-13-15 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by Poor Timing.

During the month of December, I’ll be featuring some of my favorite holiday Bizarro cartoons from years past under most of the blue links in my posts, so don’t miss them!

This cartoon glimpse inside Santa’s Workshop was based on a fleeting idea about turkeys posing as elves in an attempt to avoid being eaten on Thanksgiving. I’m not certain the concept is funny in and of itself, but I thought the drawing might be amusing enough to save it. I enjoyed drawing turkeys trying to manage tools with their cumbersome wings as hands. There are six of my “secret symbols” in this drawing, one of which is a toy one of the elves is working on, which is funny to me. If you’re not familiar with the Bizarro Secret Symbols, have a lookit this and be forever changed. (Sorry, that wasn’t a holiday BIzarro cartoon from the past but the next link will be.)

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When I hear terms like “human cannonball” I often think it would be more interesting to see one like this than to see a human shot out of a cannon. When constructing this cartoon I chose to put them in a waiting room of some kind. I have no idea why.
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I confess I’ve read a few self help books in my day and found them to be very helpful. But if someone knowledgeable puts their wisdom in a book and it helps you change your thinking or behavior or whatever, then they are helping you. You’re not really helping yourself, right?  Perhaps I need a book that will help me let go of the literal inaccuracies of common expressions. On a side note, virtually all artists loathe drawing shelves full of products; one way I alleviate the tedium of it is to put some fun book (or product) titles in. Do you know anyone who could use the “So Your Parents Ruined You: Get Over It” book? I do.

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Here’s a simple gag that is a variation of getting your eyes dilated during a visit to an ophthalmologist. Since I’ve nothing brilliant to say about this one, here’s another Bizarro Holiday cartoon you may enjoy.

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I’ve often mused over the similarity of the words “insane” and “inane,” so I wrote a cartoon about it. Coming up with inane things for the inmates to say was the most fun part. Do you consider yourself inane, or ane? I pride myself on being the former.

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Speaking of ridiculocity, I just love my Victoria’s Secret Agent. I saw the new Bond film last week and it makes it all the more fun.

bz panel 12-12-15I’ve made no secret of the fact that I’m no fan of “politically correct” language. It isn’t that I want to go around using epithets or slurs, I most certainly do not. But I find the recent habit we have of taking an innocuous term that was never meant to be derogatory, like “oriental,” deciding that it is offensive and effectively outlawing and pressuring people in polite society to use a different, equally innocuous term a bit inane (callback!) Why do we fail to realize that after a certain number of years of hearing bigots use the new term, we will find it offensive, too, and move on to something else. The whole exercise, in my inane opinion (too many times!) is a red herring. I do not believe that forcing bigots to say a new word encourages them to abandon their racism. An Asian person can be denied an apartment by a racist landlord as easily as an oriental person could. The “N-word” (the word so dangerous no one as pale as I dare type it!) on the other hand, is different in that as far back as anyone can remember it has been used as an insult. I’m all for changing that. But the parade of “preferred” terms we’ve replaced it with in my lifetime alone (colored, negro, black, African American) is a bit of a red herring, too. Have members of the race in question found they are achieving income parity and that cops are treating them more fairly each time we announce a new favorite moniker? I doubt it. Plus, what do you call a person of this heritage who is from another country? African Frenchman? African Japanese? It verges on inane very quickly.

I have no doubt that some people will be offended by the paragraph above. But those are the people who think that speaking of race relations in any form other than those approved by (well-meaning) activists is racism. It is not. If we can’t use our critical thinking skills to discuss these things openly, I suspect we’ll make very little progress on what is a real problem in our increasingly claustrophobic world.

Enough of the serious!  Here’s another Bizarro holiday cartoon from days gone by!

And here is the perfect, unique, thoughtful gift for the Bizarro fan in your life. Signed, numbered, limited-edition fancy fine art prints of some of my favorite gags.


26 thoughts on “Turkey Toys

  1. Knowing the Secret Symbols may not have changed my life. (Yet.) But they certainly have changed the way I read your cartoons. (And increased my enjoyment as well.)

    • Actually having one of the elves making a UFO Secret Symbol made me think… that and some others would be fun to have in physical form… not the Dynamite.

  2. As an African-American, I agree with your final words on political correctness. It does all get a bit inane after a while. Personally, I feel that “colored” and “negro” also were perjoratives in the mouths of some people in days gone by, with “negro” often being bent into “nigra”, which was just shy of the actual “n” word. I use black and African-American interchangeably.

  3. Totally correct on political correctness. I’m in Australia, so I was absolutely amazed when I heard a CNN reporter refer to Nelson Mandela as the “African-American President of South Africa.

    • My favourite was a few years ago when a newspaper wrote that a particular car manufacturer, after years of losing money, finally had their books “back in African-American”

    • Hehehe, that was just what I was going to relate here as well; now you have beaten me to it.

      I’m a pigmentationally challenged South African (or should I say differently pigmented?), and I have often wondered what would happen if I started insisting to be referred to as a European-African. And if I then emigrated to the U.S. I’d be a European-African-American… :-)

  4. You really don’t know why you put the human cannon ball in a waiting room…? Looks to me like he’s in the waiting room of a shrink. He is obviously having some kind of existential crisis. You put him right where he belongs! I hope he gets the help he needs.

  5. I once heard a sports talk radio guy call a black hockey player from Canada an “african american from canada” and he paused as he was saying it when he realized how stupid he sounded

    • Hadn’t heard that one but I’m sure there have been many such instances. Way back in the 80s (I think, or the early 90s) when the TV networks first instructed their sports commentators to use “African American,” an announcer during the Winter Olympics called a French figure skater, “the African American from France.”

  6. I suppose African American works for Canadian black people since Canada is part of North America, but then saying “from Canada” would be redundant…

    If you get upset over the continuously changing of PC labels, wait till you get a hold of the latest trend, “cultural appropriation”. A free yoga class was recently cancelled at a university because it was deemed as stealing Indian culture http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/university-ottawa-yoga-cultural-sensitivity-1.3330441, ditto with fashion and borrowing elements from any culture that is not your own. I believe this does sometimes have merit (much like some labels clearly cross the line), it doesn’t always hold true. Since the dawn of time, whatever is the current culture was born from borrowing certain aspects, traditions, etc. from another culture. It’s how culture grows, expands, changes. In an interview, one man who is actively trying to save Canadian Aboriginal culture agreed with the cancelling of the yoga class. While I agree with most of what he fights for, it can go too far. After all, he’s part of A Tribe Called Red, which blends traditional Aboriginal signing and drumming with electronic dance, hip hop and dancehall. While the band is fantastic and I highly recommend checking them out, I’m pretty sure electronic dance etc. did not stem from Aboriginal culture. It’s simply a blend of two fantastic types of music from two different cultures to make a new beautiful, modern sound. http://atribecalledred.com/

    • I consider myself pretty lower case “l” — liberal (need to differentiate since, living in Belgium, a capital “L” Liberal is rather different). Having read the link on the yoga class kerfuffle, even I find it pushing the idea of being political correct.

      Sometimes things are simply in really bad taste — like the fashion designer (Rei Kawakubo of Comme des Garcons, no less!) who created a line of mattress ticking clothing which looked way too much like concentration camp garb.

      I don’t see where the yoga classes — for which the instructor made no grand spiritual claims — is a real stretch (downward facing dog perhaps?).

  7. Shaving backwards??? Hope this wasn’t “drawn” from experience. If it went on for long you’d have double Dali moustaches.

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