Bat Boor

Bizarro 06-26-16 hdrWEB

(View an embiggenated version by clicking the “R” on Robin’s chest.)Bizarro 06-26-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by The Men Behind the Legend.

If you’ve ever attended a party with a romantic partner, you’ve had a moment like this. One of you objects to the way the other was behaving at the party and it leads to a late night argument. Often it is about jealousy but sometimes it’s about something one of you said that was perhaps a bit too honest for polite company.  I’ve been on both sides of this equation so when I thought of this scenario between Batman and Robin, I got a chuckle out of it, but more importantly, I sympathized with both of them. Batman just thought he was being funny and didn’t know he was embarrassing Robin, Robin felt forced to politely play along with his partner’s pathetic pandering for laughs. I’m not the first to suggest the ambiguously gay relationship between the two. The comic books themselves had many unusual moments between them, like these two, and then humorists over the years have taken the ball and run with it. (pun half intended)

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Olive Oyl and I watch Jeopardy every weeknight for three reasons: 1) So that we can feel smart when we answer questions correctly 2) So we can learn new things 3) For the innate humor in watching Alex Trebek try to navigate the impossible task of interviewing socially awkward people about utterly uninteresting details of their lives. Alex: I understand you asked your wife to marry you in an interesting way. Contestant: Yes, I, um, wrote “will you marry me” on a watermelon and then I, um, waited for her to find it in the refrigerator. Alex: Good for you.

The Zika virus potentially using this year’s Summer Olympics as a vehicle to more quickly spread to every country around the globe (other than Russia whose team was banned for doping) inspired this cartoon.

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I enjoy cartoons about people making themselves look ridiculous but thinking they look cool. Not that this guy is doing that and not that we don’t all do that to some degree. Here’s a picture of me in high school, when I thought I looked super cool.

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I don’t know what this cartoon with the apartment-hunting iguana is about. I just thought it was amusing and I felt like drawing an iguana. I nearly got an iguana as a pet back in the 90s, almost entirely just so I could name it “Fluffy”.

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Here in Southern California, we have a chain of discount liquor stores called BevMo. I shop there regularly and enjoy it but I made the mistake of giving them my email address and now I get emails two or three times a week reminding me to buy more booze. This also happens with CVS, a drug store chain. No wonder this country has a drug and alcohol problem.

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A reader very helpfully reminded me via a FB comment or something that slugs are hermaphroditic and so are neither “he” nor “she”. Another told me that snails don’t actually travel as slowly as I depicted here. Gee, thanks. Does anyone care to remind me that gastropods don’t wear hats?

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Our dog ran away from home this week. Olive Oyl and I stepped out for one hour and when we returned, Jemima was gone from our backyard. We have a tall, wooden fence with two gates and both were still closed and latched. We were dumbfounded about how she got out and worried sick, and, to make matters worse, because she had been given a bath that morning before we left, she was not wearing her collar. We got in our cars and trolled the neighborhood hoping to spot her. We made posters and plastered them at intersections. We did some stuff online at various lost pet sites. It was a sad afternoon and evening and neither of us slept well that night. The next morning, still laboring under a dark cloud, we checked the local shelters’ websites and spotted her mugshot at the local Humane Society. Eureka! She had a hangover and a bad tattoo but other than that, she seemed fine. We had them give her an electronic chip in case something like this happens again and we’re never going to take her collar off again. We also fitted her with a helmet with a GoPro camera on it so we can find out how she got out of our yard if she manages another escape.

Last thing: some friends celebrated their 33rd wedding anniversary last week and the female half commissioned me to do a cartoon as a gift to her hubby. They (and I) were all raised Catholic and got to joking recently how since the communion wafer is supposed to be the “body of Christ,” would vegans allow themselves to eat it? She asked for a cartoon about it so I came up with this one. I think it’s pretty funny but it might be problematic to publish it in the papers as a Bizarro cartoon, so I’ll share it with you here.

Anniversary

That’s it for this week, Jazz Pickles. As newspaper readership shrinks and more people read my work online for free, I deeply appreciate you folks who have made one-time donations or set up a small monthly patronage to keep me going. If you’d like to help me and Olive Oyl continue to afford poster board and markers for our Lost Dog signs, please do so by clicking Bunny and the “Tip Jar” logo in the margin of this blog! Or click here!

59 thoughts on “Bat Boor

  1. I liked the one with Batman and Robin, but I’m rather skeptical of the idea of them entering Wayne Manor through the front door…

      • I understood DM’s comment as: if the vegan objects to consuming a transubstantiated bread product, wouldn’t she also object to consuming a transubstantiated tofu chunk? I thought, “Hey, yeah, that’s right.” Then I read your reply and I realized that the priest saying “Tofu of Christ” implies that the result of the transubstantiation is tofu, and not human flesh. I took another look at the cartoon, and saw that the priest is indeed holding a chunk of tofu, which could imply that you did mean for the vegan to believe in a transubstantiation into flesh (transubstantiation into tofu would not require the initial state to be tofu) which brings me back to square one (DM’s comment). Perhaps the initial substance is not important, and the final substance is indeed “Tofu of Christ”, which would presumably be tofu owned (perhaps made) by Christ — not quite the mojo as flesh, but safe for the vegan. Finally, I just think the vegan (and maybe the priest) isn’t thinking about it.

        P.S. I’m not sure which is more believable: transubstantiation or homeopathy.

  2. That is so funny about an iguana named “Fluffy”; I have told my kids for years that if I had a pet snake or lizard, that’s what I’d name it!

  3. This recipient, the male half, of said commissioned cartoon chuckles every time I look at it. And again here online it makes me El Oh El, as the kids are fond of saying.

    I wonder who might find it more problematic, the xtians or vegans?

    And as an anniversary gift it worked so well that starting today we have entered in to another 33 years of staying married. Thanks!

  4. glad you got your dog back. the worst fear ever for me but they never leave my sight really as they travel all over the country in my truck, they probably want a chance to get away from me now and then. I am not sure how much good the chips do, my Jack Russell has one, I am her 4th owner, she was chipped by her first and I have had her at the vet so many times and not even the very first time they saw her did they ever question her ownership. So maybe a shelter will check if they found her.

    You know the indian slug would have had the stereotypical indian accent.shheeeeshhh

  5. I think that the freaky thing about christianty is the the host isn’t a symbolic thing. These people pretend they are eating actual human flesh.

    • I’m not sure about protestants but Catholics are taught that the wafer is mystically “transmogrified” into the actual body of Christ.

      • Well, now, think about it ….
        The wine & the wafer are 2 sacraments that the Catholics actually have right. To wit —
        If Christ was a real person, & lived & died, then his substance is well distributed around the Earth. A few molecules of the water that went thru him ends up amongst the water molecules in that sacramental sip; & some of the H2O molecules almost certainly once ran thru his veins as blood. A shorthand way to refer to this is — The Rain Cycle. Every drink of water you ingest has been thru or part of the bodies of ga-jillions of people. Dinosaurs too. …
        You can also use the term Chemical Reincarnation for the similar process of recycling other elements & compounds such as found in … bread! So the wafer actually has molecules of what once was the actual body of Christ — if he was a mere mortal. If he went up to Heaven, then — maybe not.
        No — Im not a Catholic — I belong to the Church of the Rain Cycle. See Ecclesiastes where he talks about all the rivers running to the sea yet the sea is not full — from whence the rivers came thither they return again. Very observant fellow — Ecclesiates.

      • I think it varies among protestants, but I’ve been told the swedish chrch also has transsubstantiation as kanon.

  6. Great toons. And I’m so glad you found Jemima, yay for whoever turned her bad ass in to the animal shelter. She looks like she can scale a tall fence, you think? She looks very agile.

    • Yes. She’s quite the athlete. She scaled the gate again today and ended up at a neighbor’s house. I need to make a trip to the hardware store tomorrow to make that gate higher and more slippery.

  7. Dan it is clear from the photograph that your Dad loves you very much.

    Present tense intended. Be well, and thank you for being who you are.
    Steve: the more self examination and reassessment achieved in the reader, the better. However, there are definitely more Xtians than Vegans who need to reconsider the entire set of issues surrounding the gag… (pun intended here too)

  8. I love these, as usual!
    I hail from Canada, where the mosquitoes are as big as ’77 Chevy Impalas. I actually have a working mosquito leg-hold trap {picture the standard animal leg-hold trap, but tin} which I never use, because of the Mosquito Convention).
    ‘The Tofu of Christ’ just about had me on the floor!

  9. Up here in Ontario, Canada – it is against the law to own a pit bull, so a lost one sorry to say would be put down by the Humane Society.

    Also you cannot buy liquor or wine at a store. Booze is only available at government run shops under the liquor control board.

    Marijuana on the other hand, is also “illegal” but not enforced, and is available to the public at local independently run dispensaries.

    • I’m sorry to hear Canada has bought into the pitbull myth. Every generation has its “dangerous” dog. Pits are extremely smart and sweet when not abused and just about any dog taught to be an asshole can become one. My dog is only a fourth pitbull, so she doesn’t look very threatening.

      • What happened to all the Dobermans from the 70’s or 80’s that were the “tiny brain” killer dogs of the day? When other breeds gain popularity, they get forgotten about. I think Chihuahuas bite more people than most other breeds but does the mainstream media report that?

        • Agreed. During WWII it was German Shepherds because of their use by the Nazis. Then it was Dobermans. Now it’s Pitbulls. The only thing saving Chihuahuas from that fate is their size and inability to kill toddlers. :^}

  10. What is Batman putting in the bowl?
    It looks kinda like a key.
    Or a wristwatch?
    At the same time Robin is putting down what looks like a yellow towel.
    Are these 2 items connected?
    Oh — Now I think I get it — they have just come home.
    And it is the key to the Batmobile!

    • You got it. They just walked in the door, Robin puts down his cape, Batman drops his keys into the bowl by the door.

  11. I might have known you would be a Jeopardy fan for the same reasons I am. I are smart. Everything stops for Jeopardy in my house. It’s the only reson I still have regular tv.

  12. I’m a Lutheran pastor and I LOVED the tofu of Christ joke! Once again you had me laughing so hard I fell off my chair.

  13. Only 2-3 emails a week from BevMo? I was getting 2-3 a day. They must think I really need to drink more. Great strips this week and no aneurysm yet from last Sunday’s fun. Lol.

  14. Counting like 10 eggs in the Batman setting not including that claw thing in the floral and the partial bird foot in the masterpiece. You can never have too many eggs.

    Oh, the gag was hilarious, too!

  15. You should frame up some of that art work that’s hanging in Batman’s living room. I think I’ve got a place for them in my living room!

    As always great toons this week!

  16. i particularly enjoyed the Slug Posse this week, because it took me a few seconds to find the outlaw and, thus, the joke. But doesn’t that break your usual composition rule to have the gag right up top there, just under the balloon? Of course, my eye went from the balloon to the speaker, then up the slime trail to the outlaw, so I guess it did work out properly. So…never mind?

    • You’re correct. It’s all about leading the reader’s eyes around the image to end up at the punch line last, where it is. :^}

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