Bizarro 08-14-16 hdrWEB

(To create an embiggenated version of any cartoon, click the exact right spot in that cartoon.)

Bizarro 08-14-16 WEB

Bizarro is brought to you today by How Have I Lived Without These?

To properly understand the Sunday cartoon above, you may need to enlarge it. (You can do that by placing your cursor over any letter in the balloon that has a right angle, and then clicking.)

Sexual infidelity isn’t inherently funny but this kind of cartoon can be a good way of “whistling past the graveyard,” as the saying goes. Both of my marriages ended with sexual infidelity on my wives’ parts (pun intended) so I know full well how insanely painful it is. But in most cases, “cheating” is merely a symptom of what’s wrong with a relationship or a person’s life, and is not the actual disease. After the sting wears off, it is easier to see that it isn’t the sex but the lying and false promises that do the real damage.

In recent years I’ve become aware of the growing polyamory movement––people who are capable of being sexually intimate and “in love” with more than one person at a time without lying and hurting each other’s feelings. Of course, in these relationships, everybody involved has to be onboard with the fact that nobody is being monogamous. Since human beings are not a naturally monogamous species and are not particularly good at long-term monogamy, it seems a brilliant solution. It certainly alleviates the need for lying to cover one’s misdeeds. I’m not fascinated with it because I want more relationships, but because I wonder if changing my philosophy could protect me from future pain should I be cheated on again. But in the end I could never do it. I’m a person for whom monogamy is deeply important and comforting and I have no choice but to pursue it. But I honestly do not know why. As hard as I’ve thought about it and tried to analyze it, I’ve come up empty.

I long ago gave up any kind of religious belief that monogamy is a higher moral state of being, so that’s not why. I don’t care anything about social standards or what my family might think, so that’s a dead end.  I’d love to be invulnerable to the pain caused by my partner having sex with someone else so I’d give that fear up if I could––but I can’t. No matter how I look at it, I cannot contain the intense jealousy and betrayal I feel when my partner strays. So I’m left wondering if it is a genetic disposition, the way I was raised, or a combination of both. I’m guessing I’ll never know for sure. (I’ve effectively renounced other ideas I was raised with when they no longer served a purpose, but this one won’t budge.)

Happily, my beloved Olive Oyl and I are on the same page regarding sexual fidelity and she regards honesty in relationships as highly as I do, so everything’s swell in that department.

By the way, today is Olive Oyl’s birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, O2!

bz panel 08-08-16

Here’s a cartoon I’m particularly proud of and which got a lot of Interweb play last week. It’s simple, to the point, and has a deep, philosophical theme if you care to plumb it. Few things depress me as much as the enormous percentage of each person’s life that they are required to spend working at a job they hate. In a natural world, we’d be spending all of our time finding food, securing shelter, and trying to stay alive. That’s hard work, but the difference is it means something. It’s what all animals are designed to do, so it feels instinctively gratifying and there is no room for a sense of futility. In modern life, on the other hand, most of us toil 3/4 of our lives behind counters or inside cubicles, slaving away at activities that don’t matter to us.  It is not lost on me how insanely lucky I am that I was able to quit meaningless jobs by the time I was about 36. (For the dozen years before that, I worked full time at a commercial art studio and did Bizarro nights and on weekends. In the years before that, I did a bunch of typical minimum-wage stuff.) I’ve not gotten rich off Bizarro, but it’s kept me out of offices and drive-in windows, and that’s invaluable!

bz panel 08-09-16

This cartoon got a lot of play in social media, too. Most of it was positive but I got a bit of the requisite “Hillary is worse” kind of comments. I’m not going to get into a political discussion here, though, as I’ve come to see it to be as pointless as arguing over which was the funniest “Golden Girl”. 

bz panel 08-10-16

Here’s one about the heat of summer. I’m not crazy about this cartoon but I am afraid of what lies ahead in the next 30 years regarding global temps.

bz panel 08-11-16

Here’s one I am crazy about because it is so stupid it makes me laugh. This guy has definitely got one of those jobs (and bosses) discussed above.


bz panel 08-12-16

Here’s one that makes me chuckle a bit. It’s clearly about the presidential election but it works for people on either side of the issue. It seems appropriate given that the two major party candidates have never been so despised by voters.

bz panel 08-13-16

I didn’t know this when I dated and submitted this cartoon, but this week is Spider-man’s 54th anniversary. In fact, Stan Lee used one of my Spider-man cartoons on his Facebook page to announce it! I’m honored.

That’s this week’s cartoon nonsense, Jazz Pickles. Thanks for reading this far and may your week be full of meaningful career opportunities, trustworthy lovers, and super hero costumes that fit as well as they did when you were young!


36 thoughts on “Whistling

  1. Thank you for your excellent, interesting, and faithful work! Always appreciated by this long-time fan, up here in Canada.

  2. Your own comments always enrich my appreciation. ‘Love your cartoons and here, especially the dog’s purpose and the insufferable boss, a close relative of Tracy Lett’s dean in Indignation, with no need for imbegganation, which BTW is a great word to chuckle with! Happy Birthday to Olive Oyl!

  3. You are killing me … every week is a joy. I love you attendant blog which I find very funny. ‘Her parts’ just about made me fall off my chair.

  4. You underrate your heat/humiliation cartoon. It was funny even before I remembered the cliche about humidity. I was slow on that one, admittedly.

  5. The cartoon about infidelity would actually work just as well without the snorkeler in the background. :-)

    You are right that the one about almost all of us just playing fetch is both funny and profound. It made me think you should do one about the term “rat race.” If you haven’t already. Especially now, what with the Olympics being on and all.

    • I’ll ponder the idea and see what hits me. Even if I came up with one today, it wouldn’t appear in papers for four weeks, though, so the Olympics would be long gone.

  6. Doing what one loves and being able to make a living at it….this is the pinnacle of success in many ways, in my view. And entertaining scores of like-minded folks along the way is a bonus. Thanks for doing what ya do, Dan.

  7. Happy Birthday, Olive! 💐🎂🍷🍷🎁🎈
    Always look forward to your cartoons, Dan.
    In a lot of ways, our minds work alike. I actually do agree with you about relationships and fidelity. I think we are the way we are is due to several factors, but the ultimate determinate of us being the we are and think is because we are predisposed to it and, as it is our nature no matter what, so we really cannot be any other way than the way we are.
    But, I could be wrong.

  8. Just for the sake of balance, I have one of those long term relationships (37 years) completely devoid of drama or heartbreak. Couldn’t be happier.
    So monogamy CAN work, you just have to do it right.
    (The other, and probably more divisive factor amongst your readers/posters: NO KIDS – never had ’em, never wanted ’em)
    Happy birthday to O2, too!

    • Many congrats! I didn’t mean to imply that it never works, only that statistically, most people find it very difficult. Most marriages that start out as a dedication to each other for the rest of the participants’ lives don’t end up being that.

      • The relationship of my wife and me has gone on for 45 years. Three kids, four grandchildren. We never made any life-time promises. We have been taking one day at a time and nothing for granted.

  9. I’ve been looking at the Easter Island drawing a few times, but I don’t see the joke. Am I missing something? Only abberation I see is the box shape on some statues’ head.

  10. A joke I heard long ago; Wife greeting her coal miner husband at the door. “Poor dear, another hard day at the orifice?”

    And then there’s this.

    • When I was doing stand-up comedy, I used to do a bit about having sex with miners. Which leads the audience to think I’m talking about minors, until the punch line reveal. Some thought it was funny, others just found it creepy. :^}

  11. I never have quite understood why golf announcers/commentators switch to their whisper while viewing a golfer preparing to hit the ball (especially putting)… despite the fact that maybe a quarter of a mile separates the golfer from the announcers/commentators. Go figure.

    SenseiC bows out.

      • I agree that comics are a great vehicle for political satire, however, it’s sad that you aren’t equally as critical about a candidate that has Hillary’s track record. I would imagine you’d have plenty of humor for both sides. Neither choice is a good one this time around.

        • I’m not crazy about Clinton as a candidate but it is my (and the rest of the world of pundits, legal and political experts, journalists) firm belief that the majority of the controversy surrounding her has been invented or blown WAAAY out of proportion by the Republican elite through their FOX News Channel. Yes, she’s lied to get out of trouble for having a private email server but she didn’t do it for some grand, treasonous reason nor did any harm come from it. It was nothing more than a stupid mistake to make it harder for the rightwing to attack her, it backfired and she lied about it. Business as usual in any political system.

          Yes, some people died tragically in Benghazi, but the Republican witch hunt that followed found no smoking gun and concluded nothing more specific than that the whole thing was not anticipated well enough by intelligence and military personnel to be prevented. (Reminds me in a smaller, less tragic way of the investigation into the Bush administration’s lack of response when repeatedly warned that Osama Bin Laden was determined to attack within the U.S. using commercial airliners.)

          She’s also been accused of murder, rape, kidnapping, stealing millions of dollars from the Clinton charity organization, and a dozen other ludicrous Mafia-style activities that have never come close to being taken seriously enough by anyone other than FOX News to stick. In the end, there’s nothing very funny there.

          Trump, on the other hand, has made a well-documented career of ripping people off and now wants to be taken seriously as the defender of the little guy? He’s sent more jobs overseas than he got votes in the GOP primaries. He’s an utter, transparent fraud who knows how to manipulate the emotions of the uneducated, and has a manner and a hair-creature that is a cross between a TV evangelist and a carnival barker. The bottom line is Clinton gives me little to laugh at, Trump seemingly goes out of his way to give me (and every other comedian in the world) plenty.

  12. You just started my weekend with a GREAT BIG SMILE! That bad boy is SO going on my fridge next to my “Thata Baby” Van Halen comic.

    This whole thing with him apologizing: Sign that he’s in desperation of losing…

  13. (I’m not going to get into a political discussion here)
    If you don’t want to get into a political discussion, then stop with your political cartoons, unless you do the same number of insulting comics with Crooked Hilarious. I used to enjoy your comic humor, but there’s no more humor any more. I just like looking for the symbols. Stop disgracing yourself. Go back to non-political themes.

  14. That strip you did on August 10th reminded me of a strip you did a couple years with a bunch of co workers in their “birthday suits”, and one of them was saying “we decided to do a naked Monday”, or something like that I can’t remember. I tried searching for it, but couldn’t find it :(

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