Horse Hat


(Make the smallerness disappear with one-click embiggenation.”)

Today’s Bizarro is brought to you by Creativity.

I’ve long been a person who likes hats. When drawing characters, accessories like hats and clothing add a lot to the information about the character. If you draw a naked person, the only thing that tips off the viewer as to what kind of character he/she might be is the hair. Without clothes, so much is hidden: the era the character is from, their social class, what kind of job they might have, whether they are introverted, extroverted, a dignified person of refined taste or a raving lunatic.

I started wearing hats back in the 90s when my grandfather passed away. When asked by the family if there was anything of Grandpa’s that I’d like to have, I asked for his fedora, which he often wore with the brim flipped up all the way around. I wear mine that way now, too. (The front edge flipped down is too Bing Crosby for my taste.)

The cowboy in this cartoon has found yet another use for a hat and he came by the idea the hard way; it can be quite a shock to the system to get up in the middle of the night to take a leak and walk straight into an invisible horse.

Everyone in their right mind is afraid of bears, as they well should be. We are natural enemies in that they are large, powerful carnivores and we are made almost entirely of meat. By saying that, I do not mean we should wage war on bears, of course. We should just stay out of their way.

In the spring of 2003, I was attending a party in Los Angeles and met a man who had spent more than a decade living among Grizzly bears in Alaska. I chatted with him for about half an hour and found out all about his unusual life and his strange comfort level around these wild animals and how he considered them to literally be personal friends. I thought his dedication to protecting them was admirable, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was a catastrophe waiting to happen. A few months later, in October of that same year, he and his girlfriend were killed by a Grizzly at their camp. I didn’t know him very well, of course, but since I had spoken with him only a few months earlier I could not help but feel a kind of chill go up my spine. Werner Herzog later made a movie about it.

Moral of the story: It’s great to love animals and want to protect them from humans. It’s not always great to want to pet them.

Okay, I think I’ve done enough cartoons about the difficulties of couple’s counseling. I worry that people are going to think that Olive Oyl and I are not getting along, which, I’m thrilled to report, is far from true.

BUT…I’ve done a fair amount of couples counseling in the past with various wives and lady partners, and have had mixed experiences. Some of it was super helpful, other encounters were a painful waste of time and money. In retrospect, I have come to see the failed attempts as being the result of attending counseling with the wrong partner and the wrong therapist.

This cartoon sprang from the fact that so many people are selling hand-made stuff online these days. I’ve been trying to find ways to monetize Bizarro with products and such, too, but it is difficult because I don’t have regular characters that people fall in love with and will buy any piece of garbage I slap them onto. If you’re a big Bizarro fan, let me know what kind of products you might like to see. And be as specific as you can.  If you’d buy a T-shirt, would it be just one of my cartoons on a shirt, or would you like to see special art that just says Bizarro and has a cool picture or something? Like one of my title panels. (Here are four examples) Or something completely different? Bizarro dishtowels? Socks? Shivs?

The first part of this caption is from actual commercials about erectile dysfunction. I used to work in the advertising field and found it unappealing on many levels. I’m one of those guys who mutes TV commercials within one second of their appearance and I go quietly nuts when watching TV at someone’s house who doesn’t do that.

I admit that some commercials are authentically funny, but my favorites are the ones that are accidentally funny. Like the one for the online dating service that is only for farmers. (If you’ve not seen it, google it.)

One of the most prominent erectile dysfunction drug companies has one that has had me scratching my head (no pun intended) for years by ending each commercial with an older couple sitting in adjacent bathtubs, holding hands. What? I’ve thought about it for years and still can’t come up with a scenario in which advertising people pitch it to the executives from the boner company and they respond with a thumbs-up. (Except in the scenario where they’ve taken so much of their own product that their thumbs are permanently sticking up.)

I got one piece of hate mail from the cartoon above. A longtime reader said that I was being condescending and that I was better than that. I responded a bit brusquely about the vastly underestimated importance of the press in protecting us from politicians, and then I trashed Fox News and praised the New York Times, Washington Post, and NPR. This didn’t sit well with the reader and he said I’d lost a fan.

Personally, I don’t trust TV news because they are slaves to ratings. As Fox News discovered that fear and terror sells and began to shoot up in the ratings, other networks followed suit and added an unacceptable amount of sensationalism to the news. These days I only trust NPR, The New York Times, The Washington Post, and other old, venerable institutions that care more about their reputations than their ratings. Yes, I know people will argue with that view. That’s fine. None of us actually knows what is real and true anymore, if we ever did.

I’ve long used the term “grammar nazi” to describe people (like me) who were good at grammar and spelling in school and were taught that those things are perhaps more important than they actually are, and so they correct others with the best of intentions but less than pleasant results.

But, now that there are Nazi sympathizers in the White House on a daily basis (Bannon at least, probably more) I’ve decided to give up the use of “Nazi” when describing things other than people who sympathize with the tenets of the Nazi party.  This seems to me to be a time when it is not wise to marginalize that moniker with humor. Instead, when referring to pests like myself, I’ve switched to “grammilitia,” which doesn’t have quite the same ring but works pretty well. I’ll conclude by saying though I still believe in the importance of grammar and spelling in many areas, I am embarrassed by the number of times I’ve corrected people and have given up the habit, so this cartoon is self-flagellating.

Thanks for reading this far, Jazz Pickles. I truly appreciate the positive responses and donations I’ve received from readers of late, so thanks for that. As my readership shifts to being primarily online where I don’t get paid for my efforts, I continue to depend more on those of you who enjoy supporting the art and ideas that you enjoy. Here are some easy ways to do that:

You can make a onetime donation or sign up for a monthly contribution through my Tip Jar.  Any amount is appreciated and used for food, shelter, and the causes of good against evil.

Thanks also to those of you who bought one or more copies of my new book! (only $6!)

You could also help support my efforts by purchasing a color print from King Features (from about $25 to $100 framed.) They make your house, trailer, or abandoned van down by the river look much more elegant.

Finally, a limited-edition, signed and numbered, archival fancy schmancy fine art print ($200) or original inked Bizarro panel (more $) from this online art gallery is the perfect gift for yourself or some other lucky fool. All of these things help me keep the gates of Rancho Bizarro open for fun-loving caballeros like you!

Until next week, be happy, be smart, be nice.


80 thoughts on “Horse Hat

  1. ” it can be quite a shock to the system to get up in the middle of the night to take a leak and walk straight into an invisible horse.”

    Are you speaking from personal experience here?

  2. I love your work, and would gladly buy bizarro compendiums (read: books), which I’m aware exist, even if seemingly bookstores no longer do. I now live in a literature desert, and my fellow small-town citizens are therefore exactly what you would expect.

    Maybe a “best of the worst” set with your most scathing social commentaries? I’m not big on t-shirts or dish towels, although truth to be told, I’m not much of a consumer at all. Not enough money, for one, and for another, everything you own, owns you.

    Still, I’ve been a fan of your work for as long as I’ve been aware of it, and that’s a long time. Your weekly blog only solidifies my fandom (fanhood?). Thank you for producing what you do, even if you give it to me for free.

  3. Afraid I’m still (barely) existing on part-time jobs. I don’t even pay my public radio “bill.” Sorry.
    It’s true that one should not get too friendly with bears. However, except for polar bears, they prefer to eat all kindsa nuts and berries and insects and small mammals. And salmon for some. Humans tend to only become a meal when the bear feels threatened. Even then, it’s incidental- I killed it, no point letting it go to waste.
    I was taught that if you kill it you eat it.

    • Uh no. Polar bears do not need to feel threatened to consider people as a possible meal.

      I’ve been SCUBA diving with sharks. Sharks can certainly be dangerous, but they do not normally consider people to be food. If you look like a seal while on your surfboard, well that’s your bad luck and you’ll get bitten, but rarely eaten. But while diving with sharks, they are very cautious around divers and do not approach you unless you do something stupid like have a bleeding fish on a spear.

      But I’ve seen video after video of polar bears that approach people showing no fear whatsoever and it is clear that if they could make you into a meal, they would. Just watching these big powerful creatures, calmly trying to figure out how to get inside that cage to reach that tasty human morsel should give you the chills.

  4. In answer to your question, I would be ecstatic to wear the soldiers
    lounging on the pigeon. Of the four possibilities, I think it expresses
    the subtlety and humor of your work without requiring a caption. If your
    Wizard of Oz shirt with Dorothy asking why they’re not in politics isn’t currently available
    please make it so. Any of your political shirts would be welcome now.

    • A little of both. I’ve not made enough to retire and I’ve been writing/drawing a joke each day for over 32 years. If I ever want to see a day when I can take time off to have the flu, grieve the death of a loved one, or just take a couple weeks to travel without having to write/draw a cartoon every single day, I need to do something differently.

      • different


      • You had make many of us lives, more bearable. I look forward to shop some day for your stuff. Never ceases
        to be amazed, for your eye on detail and point this to those who don’t know you work. So you are in the Hall of Fame, not many originals genial left.
        ~ Best Mexican saying, Confucius inspired: “SI es para ti, ni que te salgas…Si NO es para ti, ni te que te pongas”… (Hard to translate…”IF its meant for you, no matter where you move…If its NOT meant for you, you would not getter, no matter how close.” ~ Loose translation…555 (how they laugh in Thailand, Five is pronounced “HA” Greeks if you want to sound cultured, xaxaxa )
        Thought a T shirt with your Secret Symbols, would make my day. “I know you know my secret…” that kind of sentence” . You’ll have a fine retirement, you’ll reap what you thought, sooner than you thought, bigger than you thought. Sending “La Reina” much love…

  5. You’re humor is right on! Their is so much content. Love the weekly explanations and appreciate that you don’t talk down to us regular folk, two.

    I consider myself as an individual with better than average intelligence, but often learn something from reading your blurbs. I, two, am a fairly decent speller and better than average grammarian – and I hate that people correct me when I often no when I’m making errors.

    Spellcheck is often strangely correcting things that don’t need correcting. Ugh!

    My pet peeve (and know, I don’t correct people- I just cringe inside) is the omission of the “ly” on adverbs. He talked great. He dressed strange. You know. I’m afraid useage will push to acceptance. Or in this case, useage may lead to exceptance.

    I find myself leaving out commas and semicolons cuz I’m two lazy too change keyboards on my cellphone.

    Sorry for all the improper use of words – just trying to make a point about another pet peeve.

    I appreciate all the laughs you’ve given me; it helps me make it thru (yes, I know) the day.
    Last week’s cartoons were especially good. The ones you got the most noise from were the best ever! The Trump one and the vaccine one were genius. Keep them coming.

    BTW, my vote is for past cartoons on tshirts and sweatshirts of all colors and sizes. Works for Gary Larson.

    My Compliments,
    Anita (always a fan)

  6. The pigeon statue one would work well on a coffee mug. :)
    I was going to use bunnycactus as my new password but now that I posted that here I guess I can’t. D’oh!

  7. That was a great anecdote about your grandfather’s hat, Dan. Thanks for sharing it.

    A beloved music professor of mine died last summer. I asked his wife if I could have one of his hats. She graciously sent me not only a hat but one of his favorite T-shirts (from Katz’s Deli, NYC) as well. I treasure and wear them all the time.

    Thanks again. Abraço. Wally

  8. I object to your statement: ” …I don’t have regular characters that people fall in love with…” (or is that just a phrase?). Anyway, what about your pie slice, stick o’dynamite, spaceman, bunny (or is that ‘Bunny’?)?? I feel those signature icons could be arranged on a Bizarro shirt that would sell to millions (thousands, hundreds?). At least, I pledge to buy one…

    • THIS. I discovered your work today, read this post, and that was the first thing I thought.

      I’d buy a plush bunny :)

      In the meantime I’m going to get one of the books

  9. I’ve heard that the german equivalent of “grammar nazi” translates roughly to “comma fucker”. Not very good self-identifiers here.

  10. Hi Dan- about your soliciting ideas for t-shirts (for instance)… I immediately pictured a shirt with the Bizarro logo/font centered on the chest, but nothing else- aside from some (or all, I suppose) of your “inclusions” spread out randoly all over the shirt, front & back. What i mean by inclusions are the eyeball, the piece of pie, etc.

  11. I want to buy a t-shirt with a specific cartoon on it – specifically, one of your cat cartoons. I’ll buy more than one if it is something that I can wear when doing cat adoptions for my pet rescue group.

  12. Aha! Now I know why the inverted bird has a hat, even if it’s not on its head.
    (I think I used “it’s” and “its” properly.)

  13. I’m surprised you didn’t name the hurricane “Donald” – but given the “shit storm” two weeks ago (pun intended), I can actually see why. Fun fact: although there have been no hurricanes (or tropical cyclones) named “Dan,” in the seven-year rotation of names, there is a “Danny” which is on the list for 2021. Stay tuned?

  14. Mugs. I would buy mugs with your drawings on them.

    I thought my husband was the only one who muted the commercials! I sit there, usually reading, and the on again/off again sound drives me nuts.

    I stopped watching television news years ago when the “if it bleeds it leads” philosophy took over. I trust the print news, including my local Detroit papers. I subscribe now to the online Washington Post and read the New York Times until whoever keeps count tells me no more articles this month!

    Thank you again for the usual terrific cartoon collection. I’m sorry the humorless ones give you a hard time.

    • I can get a lot done in the kitchen during the commercials on “Rachel Maddow.” I like the way she develops the lead ins to her stories and I think she is a brilliant woman. But…….she is guilty of that “anything for ratings” motive, and really went overboard with the trump “tax returns.” story, which I believed originated from the orange emperor himself.

      P.S. My little bit of resistance is that I never capitalize “trump.”

  15. Hi Dan,
    Of your four examples of possible merchandise, my favorite is the pigeon statue. I’d buy a tshirt with that!

  16. “Grammilitia”

    You know you’re going to have to find a way to work that into a panel.

    On the subject of T-shirt merch:
    1) The only artist from whom I had an entire stack of shirts was former art director of the Dallas Observer, John Baynham. I am a hopeless sucker for egregious puns, and was especially sorry when my “Bat out of Hellman’s” shirt wore out. Perhaps this is why I so like your collaborations with Wayne.

    2) My wife and I both bought Bunny’s Pie Repair Shop shirts, but were disappointed by both the sizing and the quality of the product, which made us pretty gun-shy. Perhaps a different manufacturer with reliably-sized thick cotton shirts?

    • Thanks for your input. I’ve had a difficult time with finding the right T-shirt company. I like the company I’ve been dealing with because there’s no cost or overhead or storage on my end, but I’ve gotten a few complaints about the sizing.

      • Fwiw, I liked both the sizing and the lighter cotton. I’m so heat-sensitive that my thicker t-shirts are for winter only. When it came to fit, I measured well-fitting shirts and consulted the size charts. (Hurrah for listing length!) Just putting this out there, what with us generally being more likely to complain rather than praise. I couldn’t guess which viewpoint is more common.

  17. As for monetizing your strip, you can never go wrong with COFFEE MUGS! I love a good cartoon mug and have several Larson mugs. I would love to add a Piraro or two. In addition, mugs are inexpensive to produce and should give you an idea about other items that might sell. Mugs get displayed at the workplace and may get you more exposure. I, myself, love to expose myself when holding a mug!.
    I would love any (or all?) of those four images on a coffee mug. Mmm, mmm, coffee!
    Good luck!
    Tony (Juan Valdez) S.

      • Ya know, I’m thinking that you could design some socks that have a Bizarro-quality to them. Something that makes them un-socky, or somehow ridicules the very idea of socks. Of course, they would feature your artwork.

        On another recurring topic, ALL comics are political. The Family Circus is a fine example of a dedication to some sort of set-in-concrete status quo. Thank you for your style, wit, wisdom and example-setting courage.

  18. If the grammilitia have already held your poetic feet to the fire on this one: my bad.
    In the line above the cartoon that prompted that coinage (useful; I like it and agree about softening “nazi”) you wrote:
    “None of us actually know what is real and true anymore, if we ever did.”

    I believe “none” is singular—at least grammatically— so more correct would be:
    “None of us actually knows what is real and true anymore, if we ever did.”

    I almost wrote “knowS” to emphasize the change but shrank from the possibility of being criticized for capitalizing the wrong end of a word that doesn’t call for it at either end.

  19. Hi Dan,
    I like action figures and small stuffed things, so I’d buy a small rabbit or an eyeball in a spaceship or any character holding a piece of pie. I’ve been thinking about buying your coloring book, but I don’t color. Maybe if you autographed the book, you could charge a premium.

    Has your standup or chalk talk made it to YouTube?


    • There are various versions of me at speaking engagements and comedy shows online.

      The coloring book is tons of fun even if you don’t color the images. I think you’d definitely feel you got way more than your $6 worth. I’d be happy to autograph one but the shipping back and forth from Mexico, where I live now, can get expensive.

  20. I love your cartoons and bought your first book and a few t-shirts. And since you asked and at the risk of insulting you, I think the detail in your cartoons is great, that is, great online or printed in a book but when printed on a t-shirt the images lose something. I’d like to see t-shirts with just the main part of the image and little or no background. So in the four examples you give just the “Bizarro” word and:
    – the pigeon with the soldier on its back
    – the cactus person
    – the two monsters, the helicopters and probably the trees
    – the sasquatch
    My experience with the t-shirts is that they don’t show up the detailed backgrounds very well. I do like the Jazz-Pickle T’s which meet the criteria above.

    • I agree with all of that, in fact. I’ve been tinkering with ways to remove them from the borders and backgrounds, just as you described.

  21. What a great blog post today! The movie “Grizzly Man” was fascinating, terribly sad and it’s interesting that you actually met him. I’m the same way about commercials, between the DVR and mute button I successfully avoid 99.99 percent of them.

  22. I enjoy your posts, as always, and to speak to the etsy/ product commodification bit, I would vote for some cool artwork that encapsulates the Bizarro aesthetic. I can’t even tell you why exactly, but I would love a pair of socks with such a design on them. I’d also be into tea towels,maybe a coffee mug. A T-shirt would be nice if it were simply a pocket sized emblem, as I am not typically into gauche, in your face displays. ( unless it is around my ankles, go figure.)

  23. “Grammilitia”! I love it. I AM that woman. It embarrasses me sometimes, but doesn’t feel half as bad as seeing the illiteracies coming out of my managers and higher-ranked and higher-paid co-workers.

    Then again, few English majors graduate with the expectation of making much money.

  24. ≈ I have had two doctors that were very attractive, I should have asked them if they were currently seeing anybody. The problem with attractive doctors is that I tend to have an elevated heart rate and blood pressure whenever they touch me with their sexy stethoscopes and erotic blood pressure cuffs.

    Also, since they ask me to disrobe, I would have had a difficult time trying to convince one of these doctors that I was in need of E.D. medication.

  25. For merchandise I would enjoy the hidden symbols, specifically the eye and the fish tail. K2 add a fridge magnet would also work. Then I could hide them under furniture and on bookshelves.

  26. You may have already considered this, but you do have recurring proprietary images in your comics… the hidden objects. Since you have experience in advertising you’ll likely come up with several ways of promoting and marketing those images profitably. I would love something with your UFO or PIe or EYEBALL on it. Just a suggestion. Thanks for the ongoing diversion during troubled times. Good chuckles are priceless these days and you always deliver several with your weekly posts.

  27. Dan, in your “category 4 hurricane” panel, the cold front/warm front lines make it look like the country has eye lashes and is coyly telling the hurricane “I only like the big boys.”

  28. Thanks Dan for the laughs, We desparately need to laugh rather than weep about the dissolution of all we hold dear. I’m glad you are safe in Mexico and will soon be protected with a great wall.

  29. Glad to have a good guy out there. I realize that there are many such, but many folks (esp. those that do not venture online much) do not realize that so many folks are of the same mindset. And we appreciate your sense of humor, and compounded by the fact that my Dad was a cartoonist in the 70s – 80s, you’d fit right in with our ‘twisted’ little group (‘twisted’ meant in the nicest, most benign way of course).

  30. Dan, in response to your question regarding t-shirts: I have (I think) every Bizarro t-shirt you have issued and intend to buy any more that you will issue. As for subject matter, I really like the idea of a shirt that says “Bizarro” and has a cool picture on it (and love the examples you posted). Of course, I also love the ones with actually Bizarro cartoon panels on them. I guess that means that, to me, you can do no wrong! And yes, if you issue Bizarro socks or dish towels, I will happily purchase those!

    • Thanks, Jeff! If I had a hundred thousand more people just like you, I’d be making 1/100th as much as Ivanka is on her clothing line. :^}

  31. I hesitate to correct your grammar because it is so very good BUT you did slip up once today and that was “None of us know”. It should have been “knows.”

    Sorry. We had to diagram sentences back in my day.

    • Absolutely correct and I hate myself for missing that. I’ll fix it now! I’ve stopped correcting others but an still unreasonably hard on myself. :^}

      • Don’t hate yourself for something like that. Thinking that someone deserves hate for merely contravening the norms of the language is exactly what’s wrong with the grammilitia. Besides, according to both Wiktionary and the dead-tree dictionary I use, “none” can be singular or plural when used with countable nouns.

  32. Love your blog.

    Grammar. I have pretty good grammar, but sometimes slip up with the proper use of “me” versus “I” and my mother-in-law is right on me about it. It irritates me to no end, and gives me one more reason to despise her. She also goes up to strangers in restaurants and tells them, “gentlemen don’t wear hats indoors”. Add this to her other personality traits, and we have someone very difficult to be around. Anyway, your cartoon made me instantly think of her.

  33. Totally agree about the news. It’s not about informing, it’s about making money. To do that, you need readership / viewership. You get that by titillating, shocking, or preaching to the choir. This latter is most important for talking heads. I sometimes wonder if the far right/left talking heads actually believe any of the things they say or if they say it just because gets more viewers and thus can charge more for advertising.

    I like the news outlets you mentioned and I also add BBC and the Reuters & AP news feeds, which tend to give you events pre-spin. Of late, though, I’ve stopped paying attention to much of the news because it’s too depressing to watch my world get torn up by the oligarchs. Sigh.

    • You’re probably right. I know to hyphenate two words that combine to make a single adjective before a noun but I questioned the rule in this case because they came at the end of a sentence. I’m only an amateur grammilitia member so there’s lots I don’t know.

      I hope you’re right because I just changed it. :^}

  34. I’m all in on the title panel T-shirts! If they become a reality I’ll be sporting them at Large Art Festivals across the Western U.S. Exciting times!

  35. I have to agree with some that a full panel even has too much detail for a T-shirt, one of the symbols (I was thinking the bunny, with a sign saying, “Bunny’s Pie Shop”) would be something I’d enjoy wearing. An inside joke shared by your fans.

  36. ..”I love you so bad it hurts”….
    …So Bad-LY”…
    ,,,,Sigh…”2 Bee, or knot two B”…(as a present-day wanna-be William Shakespeare
    might have punned it ….
    …Very funny Dan- reminded me of you, of course…
    The cowboy on the invisible horse was easy enough to figure out.
    …The cowboy Bizarro lego ..was abit harder..Took me awhile but I
    guess that mysterious stuff in front of him are things you “ll find
    on passenger planes? (seat belt, breathing tube, life vest..what happened
    to his barf bag?)
    ….You have a lot of letters this time so maybe just a few suggestions”’
    Bizarro coffee cups would be nice but, being heaver than T-shirts, might
    cost a bit more to mail (and, living in Mexico, you’d probably need a
    middle man partner to make them and ship them in the US? – Perhaps
    like you maybe do with yo9ur T-shirts…So- you might be selling your
    brand name ,much as a (Gulp!..Shudder …certain well-known Pretender
    -In Chief to the U.S..Throne does his brand-name business?…..
    …Speaking of Donnie- Boy, I remember once having a really cool
    Black T -shirt with a color photo of Al Pacino as “Scarface”,saying
    “I always tell the truth- Even when I lie!!!- I can imagine a really,
    greatly HUGH-LY funny Bizarro Donnie T saying the exact same
    words!! (But would they sell? ..That is the question I can’t answer…

  37. Was that Tim Treadwell you met? I saw him speak, prior ahem to his final appearance, in Pasadena. I like bears. Encountered them many times in the mtns above LA. They like stupid people better, much tastier.

  38. Well, to give you grammilitians something to hyperventilate about… :
    “I just done a tip into the tip jar. Ain’t that nice of me?”

    Thanks for all the wonderfully bizarre paintings, Mr Bizarro. A lot of people here in Germany are scared stiff about the way things are going right now …. over in trumpland. (At least a lot of people I know). Nice to see there are some guys trying to act against it.
    Have a nice day :)

    • Thanks for the nice words and the tip, Mimi! Much appreciated!

      Here’s to hoping we’re all wrong about the damage Agent Orange will do in the next few years!

  39. Hi Dan-read this week’s blog and immediately thought of a new item you could market. I’m not one for t-shirts, coffee mugs, or dish towels…but…how about a marble set featuring your hidden objects? An eyeball shooter would be cool. I would also be happy to pay the shipping on an eyeball paper weight, and my husband is standing by to order the bird on a kite.

  40. I’ve thought a good invention would be a TV remote with only one large button for muting the commercials… and politicians. They make the mute buttons much too small on TV remotes.

    I’d like a tee shirt with all the secret symbols on it… :)

    so you lost another viewer – you’d think the dissing Faux News and 45 would have lost him months ago?
    thanks for the smiles Dan

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