(Get into the whole embiggenation thing by clicking on the headlight of the red car.)


Bizarro is brought to you today by Actual Fortune Tellers.

I’ve taken Uber or Lyft a few dozen times and with one exception, have always had a positive experience. The exception was in LA and the guy driving our car seemed friendly enough to Olive Oyl and me but was prone to honking at other drivers, cussing them out under his breath, and weaving through traffic to cut people off that he thought had offended him. His driving was such a stereotypical example of road rage that it seemed like a scene from a sit-com, but scary. (I once watched 8 minutes of an episode of Two and a Half Men and found it equally scary, but in a different way. Getting Charlie Sheen as your Uber driver would perhaps be a perfect storm. )

When it was over, we were expected to rate the driver on our smartphone but hesitated to be truthful because we didn’t know if he would know we had given him a low rating and we knew that he was required to rate us as passengers, too. If we trashed him and he knew it, he could trash us. Which could make the next driver refuse to give us a ride.

This is one of the many dark sides of the Internet conveniences we have come to depend on. Not unlike Menken’s uncanny prediction of where America’s democracy would lead (click the blue link above or these blue words here for the quote I’m talking about) many have predicted that Internet technology will be our demise. I agree with that view in a variety of ways, from fake news swaying elections to the personal despair one feels from living most of one’s life inside a tiny, electronic screen. For myriad frightening ways in which technology could end up destroying us––some of which are already happening––watch a few episodes of the often brilliant TV series, Black Mirror on Netflix.

Hey! Let’s have a look at what Wayno did this week while I was hiding under the covers…

What this cartoon doesn’t mention, for good reason, is that Brady is hooked on all forms of social media for dogs including the casual sex site, “Humper,” where he goes by “LustyLab869”.  Brady reports that the downside of Humper is that you never know if you are communicating with a real dog or just some perverted human’s lower leg.

In Wayno’s (much more brief) blog this week, he mentions being contacted by a guy who actually runs a similar Internet site for dogs as the one in this cartoon. Of course there is.

When I was in high school in the early 1970s, I had a big afro, which some of my friends called a “full fro”. (Yes, this is a picture of me when I was about 16 years old.) Since it seems that virtually everything becomes a fashion trend at some point, I hope I live to see the mini-fro pictured here become a thing.

Is it profiling to judge somebody based on their profile photo? Why are so few profile photos taken in profile? Does it bother anyone else when an adult uses a photo of their child or grandchild as their own profile photo? Do they not realize that it is a species-wide trick of evolution that they and their family think their new baby is of any interest whatsoever?

I got an alarming number of questions about this clown cartoon. Some said things like,

“I could not figure out what this meant, nor could my husband nor any of the people at my job, some of whom are brain surgeons and astrophysicists, nor anyone in the state of Ohio. We’re big fans, please enlighten us!”

Okay, you did not actually ask every person at your job or in the state of Ohio about this. There is no shame in not understanding a cartoon and therefore no need to mitigate your confusion by pretending you’re in the same boat as a lot of fictitious people with impressive college degrees.

The meaning is simple: traditional Ringling Brothers Circus clowns are known for packing far-too-many of themselves into small cars and pouring out one at a time to the delight and amazement of the audience. Wayno is simply extending that tradition to clown baby carriages (and uteruses, by extension.) Perhaps so many people missed this because fewer people go to Ringling Brothers Circuses these days, which is a good thing because they have a long and well-documented history of abusing elephants and other animals. Modern-style circuses and clowns like those found in Cirque du Soleil, are much more entertaining and don’t use animals.

Dentists and health insurance in the U.S. are so expensive that it is amazing that anyone can still afford to have teeth. Is it a coincidence that those Americans who tend to have fewer teeth are also most likely to vote for the political party that keeps health care prohibitively expensive?  Just wondering if there’s a connection.

This is probably the easiest “where’s Waldo” puzzle you’ll ever see. I spotted him in less than one second. I think Wayno should have at least made the wood panels on the wall red and white stripes to make it a little harder.  I found out from some Internet comments this week that in other countries, this character goes by different names; presumably because “waldo” means something unappealing in some languages, like “nose hair” or whatever. In Norway, he is called “Willy” but in the U.S., “Where’s Willy” is a whole different game.

Thanks for following along this far, Jazz Pickles. I hope you have a dandy week and continue to encourage you to check out our links below, which help us make ends meet in a world where the Internet has made comics more popular than ever but less monetarily valuable. One way I’m getting by is by selling stuff. I have some new enamel pins that I think are really cool. Here’s the one I’ve been wearing this week.

Wayno: Weekly blogTwitterInstagramWaynoVision

Piraro: Bizarro shop (where the enamel pins are)  Bizarro tip jar Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original cartoon art Piraro Instagram  Twitter Piraro coloring book



34 thoughts on “Driven

  1. I bought a book of “Waldo” in Ireland when on a trip for our anniversary. Having collected about 5 in the U.S. to enjoy and share with my young nephews, I was happy to see he’s been licensed as Whete’s Wally there.

    Also on another such trip, we went to Southern Italy and just had to make a stop in Monopoly. Found out toy store (actually stores because he owned them at 3 corners of a cross street) had a Facebook account and so asked of it before leaving the U.S. Yes, they had a nephew that translated for his uncle and others on the FB page. They were excited to meet us! Ha! After getting confused at all the toy stores with no open stores we found the right one. Met all his family/staff, lotsa hugs and a choice of 3 kinds of said game. Had to get a toy Fiat too, they were fun. Life’s a game and yes did one time own the game of Life.

    • Yes, but only since last year. I was referring to a larger time frame that people stopped going, which is part of why they went out of business.

    • Earlier this week I happened across a circus advertisement in an 1881 small town newspaper. Very interesting and had me looking for more info about circuses of that era.

      One of the articles I found mentioned an elephant that had killed it’s trainer. The article described how the elephant hadn’t been a problem until a few years earlier. Prior to that it had only “killed a few negroes but that was just for fun” (not my words). When the elephant started becoming difficult, the article describes in detail how it was dropped off on a small island in a river, tied down, beaten, and burnt. The writer indicated the trainer had objected to this treatment. It was sometime after that that the elephant killed the trainer.

  2. The “reverse male pattern baldness” cartoon made me as it is the logical response to those ads for products that promise to reverse it!

    Also in regards to the Ringling Brothers Circus, are you aware that they put on their final show in May 2017?

    • Yes and no. I remember them going out of business but didn’t remember when exactly that happened. I hope the animals were placed in appropriate sanctuaries.

  3. Wow… the H. L. Mencken prediction is… SCARY.

    The clown babies cartoon was one I immediately got and found hilarious! Okay, I partially got it; I got that there were a lot of babies in the tiny stroller, but I missed the connotation of all of them coming out of… the other tiny place… and now I’m SCARED again.

    Thanks to you and Wayno for a scarily hilarious week of cartoons!

    • It’s worth reading the larger quotation, which can be found at Mencken appears to believe we’d gotten pretty close to that ideal in 1920. And I doubt he ever expected it would take another century to reach it. I doubt he would agree that it *did* take a century.

  4. The clown car feature brought a smile to my face. When I was a kid and went to see the circus, I loved seeing the clown car and laughed so hard that my soft drink came out my nose.

  5. There’s actually a person who gave birth to octuplets… She went by the name “Octomom” and tried her hand at adult entertainment for a while.

    That’s who I thought of first.

  6. Hey, I lifted your Mencken meme and posted it today on social media in response to a Carl Sagan quote that lamented the dumbing down of America. As always, I admitted to lifting it from your blog.

    However, I should have checked the quote before sharing it because it is not perfectly accurate.

    Here’s a longer quote that I found on Snopes… which is even more thought provoking.

    “The larger the mob, the harder the test. In small areas, before small electorates, a first-rate man occasionally fights his way through, carrying even the mob with him by force of his personality. But when the field is nationwide, and the fight must be waged chiefly at second and third hand, and the force of personality cannot so readily make itself felt, then all the odds are on the man who is, intrinsically, the most devious and mediocre — the man who can most easily adeptly disperse the notion that his mind is a virtual vacuum.

    “The Presidency tends, year by year, to go to such men. As democracy is perfected, the office represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. We move toward a lofty ideal. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”

    It still describes America… and Trump… to a disturbing degree.

    • Yeah, my gut told me I should have checked that quote before posting but I got lazy. Thanks for the correction. Glad it wasn’t too far off.

  7. I didn’t get the clown joke either, but when it was explained in the info below than i found it funny. The load bearing tooth cartoon made me laugh my ass off……. hell i’m still chuckling at it now. Great stuff.


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