Not All Dogs Go To Heaven

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(If you’re feeling like some embiggenation, click the dog-man’s handcuffs.)

Bizarro is brought to you this week by The Hair Club For Men’s Spring Dance.

For the few of you who pay attention to such things, my new website launch was far more problematic than anyone expected. After a couple of weeks of the tech folks not being able to repair it, we switched back to the old site temporarily until we can work the bugs out of the new site. Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks for your patience.

As predicted, the cartoon above got some angry mail from people who actually need service dogs and think I am saying they don’t. I am saying no such thing. My job is to draw pictures that make people laugh and sometimes drawing a person doing something stupid achieves that. But simply because some object or word in one of my cartoons is similar to something from your real life does not mean I think you or your life are stupid.

On another note, how fun would it be to hire four actors to play the main four characters in the comic above and have them just walk around an airport? I’ve no doubt they’d be arrested by one of the many Barney Fife’s that the TSA employs to keep America inconvenient, but it would be fun while it lasted.

Breaking News: I just started a new Instagram account for my fine art. I’m signing all of the work I create in Mexico as “Diego Piraro,” in honor of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo. I’d love it if you’d “follow” my page and comment on my work as I post it. I’ve only just started so you can be one of my first followers! @diegopiraro

Let’s peruse what Wayno was up to in the graphic comedy lab this week…

If you’re going to be a bad guy, don’t half-ass it; if you’re evil enough and have no redeeming qualities whatsoever, you have a much better chance of being pardoned by the president no matter what Facebook reveals about you. And you might even win a Senate seat like good ol’ Joe Arpaio is trying to do.

My car isn’t self-driving but it is self-pleasuring. When it starts to shudder, it won’t start again for about 30 minutes. I turn the voice part off during this process, of course.

Wayno has some fascinating stuff to say about this cartoon as it relates to something called “Uncanny Valley,” which I’d never heard of before but definitely describes me. Check out his weekly blog, the URL of which is at the end of this post!

And Republicans complain that Bizarro never makes fun of liberals.

The new batch of Jazz Pickle pins is in so nab some before they sell out.  We also have other Bizarro pins, some shirts, mugs, tote bags, and an educational poster about cat puke that you may want to share with your feline companion or your dog. 

By the time the general locates some hummus, these two may die of old age. By the way, for those of you keeping score, that’s two jokes poking fun at liberals in as many days.

Or, you could fill their FB feeds with phony nonsense that a large number of them are stupid enough to fall for. (Google “pizza gate” then consider how many millions of residents of Dumbistan thought it was true.) America is already divided––all that’s left is to conquer. We’ll be lucky if the invaders are only extraterrestrials who know how to look sad.

Once Trump is finished stacking the courts with like-minded nitwits, childish tweets will become admissible as evidence. “Your honor, the jury finds the racist hillbilly ‘not guilty’. Arpaio for Senate!”

Thanks for reading this far, Jazz Pickles.  Please help support our meager humor efforts by clicking the links below. Until my next post, be happy, be smart, be nice, and resist ignorance and fascism.

Wayno: Weekly blogTwitterInstagramWaynoVision

Piraro: Bizarro shop (enamel pins, a Hello Shitty shirt and more!)  Bizarro tip jar Signed, numbered, limited edition prints and original cartoon art Piraro Instagram  Piraro Twitter Piraro coloring book

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9 thoughts on “Not All Dogs Go To Heaven

  1. Just a slight correction…
    Think of how many millions of residents of Dumbfuckistan STILL believe “Pizza Gate” is true.

  2. Sorry to hear about the technical problems. As a professional programmer for the last 36 years, believe me I understand and have seen it all. In the meantime I’m happy to see the old site back for the moment because it has an RSS feed. That’s the best way (for me at least) to know when there is something new on your page. But unfortunately all the hip tech kids think RSS is dead, which is probably why your new site does not have this feature. It really should be an easy thing to support, but it sounds like there are bigger more fundamental issues to solve at the moment. Good luck!

    • Thanks, Bill. I’ll keep that in mind about the RSS thing. I’ve never used it so it isn’t one of those things on my own radar, but I’ve gotten complaints/requests for it over the years. If it isn’t a big deal, I don’t see why we shouldn’t have it.

      The real problem at present is the large “daily comic” feature, which places each day’s comic into a widget with around 10,000 older Bizarros that are searchable by calendar and keyword. The one on the old site works okay, the new one keeps crashing and thus far nobody has been able to make it work.

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