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Oops, Indeed

bz panel 08-12-13bz strip 08-12-13This installment of Bizarro is made possible by Robin Hood in Six Languages.

I had decided to use this gag simply because of the corrections/mistakes joke and hadn’t thought about what state to attribute it to, but after the Martin/Zimmerman trial I decided to use Florida for an added punch. I am aware that my readers are conflicted over who was guilty of what in that story, if anything, but to my mind if an adult following and killing an unarmed 17-year-old who had not committed a crime is legal, there is a serious problem. I cringe at this country’s attitude toward guns and so-called “self defense.” Enough said. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #31

Bizarro 08-11-13 WEB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(To witness this cartoon grow before your eyes, click the wizard’s undies.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by You Kids Get Off Of My Lawn!

Welcome to the 31th installment of Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies, the cartoons which come from puns donated by readers. This week, we congratulate Jazz Pickles Bradley Ward, T. Filice, and Alex. There are no words for the pride they feel today. (more…)

Coulro Me Phobic

bz panel 08-10-13bz strip 08-10-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Nightmare Meal.

I have often claimed on this blog to be afraid of clowns, but actually I have not been since I was kid. But being afraid of a strangely dressed stranger seems like a logical choice for a child. As an adult, I avoid clowns but it’s because I’m just not comfortable interacting with someone who is comfortable being a clown in public. (How people dress or act at home is their own business.) It’s probably the introvert/extrovert thing again. (more…)

Demon Alcohol

bz panel 08-09-13bz strip 08-09-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Logic.

Even though I’m an occasional performer, I’m actually an introvert. That is to say that I get sapped of my energy when socializing and regenerate it by being alone. Extroverts are the opposite. So even though I go out of my way to avoid prolonged exposure to extroverts like our good buddy, Mike, here (on buses, planes, etc.) I do, however, enjoy the occasional brief encounter with eccentric oddballs like this. I find this kind of person fascinating for about five minutes, then I have to run away and recover. Like Superman with Kryptonite, overly talkative people make me tired and weak. (more…)

Forever Silent

bz panel 08-08-13bz strip 08-08-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Tragic Mistake.

Here’s a gag that is a collaboration with my pal and cartoon colleague, Dan McConnell. I like the simple concept behind this gag, that the mime spends eternity much the way he spent life––trapped inside an invisible box.

In my CLASSIC CORNER today, I feature a cartoon I did back in 2012 with a similar concept, but without the hands in the invisible box position. I like this newer version and think it is different enough to use it even though it touches on ground I’ve been to before. Check out Dan’s FB page for more of his work. (more…)

Probing Question

bz panel 08-07-13bz strip 08-07-13Bizarro am brang to you today by Dangerous Fruit.

My daughter, Krelspeth and her man (my boyfriend-in-law), Klarf, are visiting me this week in L.A. so I’m a bit behind on blog postings. I hope this has not caused any of my six readers undue anxiety.

We’ve had a fun week together and have not experienced a single alien probing, unlike our unfortunate farmer man in this cartoon. He is lucky, however, that he is about to be probed by the iProd 5, which is much slimmer and more comfortable than previous models. Of course, the old charger won’t work on it because it has a different size port, which is annoying. (more…)

Bits and Pieces

bz panel 08-06-13bz strip 08-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Organ Donation.

Like yesterday, today’s cartoon was the brainchild of Cliff Harris the King of Wordplay. I didn’t intentionally use two of his in a row, it just happened to happen that way. Coincidence or fate? I’m betting on coincidence.

It is my understanding that this cartoon is somewhat autobiographical for Cliff. When he was a college student he lost his waist in an accident involving a bathroom stall door. For the next two years, he was five inches shorter than he’d formerly been but then enrolled in a medical trial that eventually resulted in his receiving a waist transplant, restoring him to his original height of 5′ 2″.  Congratulations, Cliff! (more…)

Ups and Downs

bz panel 08-05-13bz strip 08-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Directions.

Today’s comic is another product of the spongy, wrinkled brain of my good friend, Cliff Harris The King of Wordplay.

This cartoon reminded me of when I was a kid growing up in a small town called Ponca City, Oklahoma. In the summers, I would visit my grandparents in Kansas City for a week and one of those days was always spent with my grandmother taking my cousin and me downtown on the bus to have lunch at the soda fountain at one of the big department stores there. We’d then ride the elevators up and down a bit, buy a moderately-priced toy (a bag of tiny, plastic cowboys and indians or army men) and head back home. In Ponca City, where I was from, there were no buses or elevators, so riding these cosmopolitan devices passed as an exciting day in the big city for me. I clearly remember that on a number of occasions, after we’d returned to grandma’s house, I could sometimes feel my stomach rise and fall, recalling the feeling I had in the elevators. I haven’t thought of that in years and it hasn’t happened since. If I want that feeling now, I have to jump out of a plane, which (unless I don’t wear a parachute and sneak aboard the plane) is considerably more expensive.bz 12-28-95 bike helmet (more…)

Whatevs

Bizarro 08-04-13 WEBBizarro 08-04-13 hedr(For an up-closerer look at this scribbling, click the Panda’s nose.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Japanese Super Heroes.

This cartoon is a lampoon of the beloved, cheap ‘n’ cheezy Japanese sci-fi films of bygone days, as well as a comment on our modern attention span. Some of you may remember such eminent feature films as King Kong vs. Godzilla,Godzilla vs. Mothra, and King Kong Saves Godzilla’s Life With CPR. Today’s sequel to these brilliant cinemagraphical feats was the brainchild of my cartoon colleague and good buddy, Jim Horwitz, whom we in the industry fondly refer to as “Jimmy Ho.” JimHo does a web cartoon called “Watson,” which I’ve mentioned on this blog before. As the newspaper industry shrinks and fewer cartoon features are being signed to syndication contracts all of the time, Jim is part of the new wave of cartoonists whose work only appears on the web. Let’s call them “New Artists.” I don’t know why, but let’s do. (more…)

Gamble

bz panel 08-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Ernie’s Right-Hand Man.

I’m not a gambler but I’ve been to Vegas a few times for various other reasons. It’s one of those places that is fascinating for a while just because it is so surreal. The buildings, the people, everything is crazy.bz strip 08-03-13 The first time I went, however, I was 18 and things were different. I had won an art contest of sorts, the prize for which was a weekend in Vegas for two. At that age, I had barely been on a commercial flight before, much less traveled to a place as strange as Vegas without adult supervision. I remember drinking and going into casinos and strip clubs but I can’t remember why they let me in. I was clearly underage (at 18, I could’ve passed for 16) but I suppose the laws then were not very strict. Or at least the enforcement wasn’t. (more…)

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