Page 17 of 20« First...10...1516171819...Last »

Last Chance

Are you a Jazz Pickle?

Today’s the last chance anyone will ever have to achieve ownership of this limited-edition T-shirt design that I made just for you. Imaginary studies have shown that if you read and enjoy Bizarro, you are 47% smarter than the average sheep, are 61% more likely to be an independent thinker, and are 72% less likely to accept statistics at face value. If that describes you or anyone you know, this shirt is for you. (Or them.)

Available in NINE different styles and/or two colors. See them all here.


Circular Chuckling

Bizarro is brought to you today by Where Jazz Pickles Jiggle.

I’m trying a new format today to see if it reduces some problems some folks have viewing this blog on various futuristic devices. Let me know if this is better or worse.

ALSO: Always remember that cartoon prints make affordable and classy gifts for yourself, friends, family, and enemies alike. Just find the image you want using the calendar thing, and click the “buy prints” link below!Bizarro 06-14-15 hdrWEB

(Click the image below to make it oh so much enlargered.)Bizarro 06-14-15 WEBIf I may be immodest for a moment, I really like this gag and think it is my best drawing of the ocean I’ve ever done. Not that cartoons have to be well drawn, they don’t. In fact, I think a case could be made that I’ve often over-drawn my cartoons. So maybe this is just my most over-drawn picture of the ocean.

This past week’s cartoons looked pretty much like this:

Monday: Real estate agent and fish. Create your own backstory here. Did he put the fish there so he could pretend to be a real estate agent? Did the fish answer an ad in the piscean version of Craigslist? (Codslist?) Is “piscean” even a word? (Yes, but it doesn’t mean what I’m using it for.)bz panel 06-08-15Tuesday: It’s always fun to think about how you might have done something differently, or how the entire species might have. It’s no use whatsoever, but it can be panel 06-09-15Wednesday: How many eyes does a common housefly have? Only two, but each one has around 4000 lenses. See how educational this comic can be?bz panel 06-10-15Thursday: This cowboy cartoon gave me a chuckle. And drawing “cats” in the Jazz sense, was lots of fun. (No, that’s not a mime with a saxophone. It’s a beatnik.)bz panel 06-11-15Friday: I guess this is my favorite gag of the week. Mostly because I so vehemently detest the baggy pants fad that has been around for the past 20 years. The fad itself is a zombie: ugly, dangerous, shuffling, impossible to get rid of completely. I’ve done many cartoons about it, here’s my panel 06-12-15Saturday: I don’t know what to say about this one other than that I like the uniforms.

bz panel 06-13-15Quick bits of business: Only three days left to grab one of my limited-edition Bizarro Jazz Pickle shirts. It’s the fourth in a series and is the definition of a collector’s item!

I’ve posted some new sketch cards in the original art section of the Bizarro Store. Check them out here. These also make unique and thoughtful gifts. Oh yes, they do.

Live Comedy Tomorrow Night Seattle!

Hey, Seattle Jazz Pickles, go see my good buddy, Michael Capozzola’s stand-up comedy show tomorrow night. He’s very funny and you will laugh. Later, you’ll remember things he said and laugh again. 

Official PR copy:

This Sunday in Seattle: it’s comedian Mike Capozzola’s show, “Emperor Ming’s Mercilessly Spicy Wings!”

He shines a Bat-Signal on superheroes, Star Wars, secret agents, werewolves and time travel, augmented with original comic and cartoon art including one that depicts Elektra skewing a zombie Sheldon Cooper…

Sunday June 14th 8:30pm at The Seattle Comedy Underground

109 S Washington St, Seattle, Washington

“Emperor Ming’s Mercilessly Spicy Wings …and other tales”

Grin and Bear It?

Bizarro 06-07-15 hdrWEB Bizarro is brought to you today by Art Supplies In The Wild.

As you regular readers of my work well know, I affectionately call regular readers of my work “Bizarro Jazz Pickles”. I can’t remember why, but that’s what I call you. To show my appreciation, (and to enable me to continue to offer all of my cartoons to you for Bizarro 06-07-15 WEBFREE on this blog!) I have created a series of special designs on T-shirts. Each is limited edition and is only on sale for two weeks. The fourth in this series (and the first one in more than one color!) is available now, for ten more days only. Grab one or more here and show your pride in being a Bizarro Jazz Pickle! 

Now for this week’s cartoons, starting with today, Sunday: Bears are scary. Super smart bears with sign painting capabilities are even scarier.

bz panel 06-01-15 Monday: People rarely go to 3-dimensional banks anymore but if you did and there was a fortune teller behind the counter instead of a bank teller, you might find it bz panel 06-02-15amusing.




Tuesday: I have a neighbor who coaches his son in baseball in their backyard every night after dinner and though he isn’t this kind of dad, it made me think of this gag. My eldest daughter, Krapuzar, played baseball on a boy’s team when she was ten years old (because there were no girl’s teams in our area) and there were dads like this. One of them openly objected to her being allowed on the team because she didn’t have a penis. My original impression of him was that he was a dick but bz panel 06-03-15 after getting to know him, I also thought he was an asshole.

Wednesday: There was a typo on my part in the published version of this gag that appeared in newspapers around the world. I put 193 million miles instead of the correct distance of the sun –– 93 million miles. I misread my map, I guess. So bz panel 06-04-15 embarrassing.

Thursday: If you haven’t heard, there are a LOT of problems with America’s industrialized food system, only one of which is antibiotics in meat. It’s a very bz panel 06-05-15serious health threat to the human species, but in this case it’s a little amusing.




Friday: Don’t you hate it when something is the wrong size and you have to bz panel 06-06-15return it?









Saturday: There’s no simple answer why I wrote this gag about a nerd and his girlfriend. I just thought it was funny that he thinks he’s dating someone from another century. That seems like something a certain kind of nerd would find appealing.

That’s it for this week. Please do consider snagging a T-shirt from me, it really does help keep the lights on at Bizarro International Headquarters since most people read my work on the Interwebs for free. :^}




Bizarro Jazz Pickle T-Shirt #4!

The fourth in my series of limited-edition, Jazz Pickle T-shirt designs is finally here and AVAILABLE FOR TWO WEEKS ONLY!  This magical* garment is guaranteed** to change your life for the better while destroying the lives of your enemies. Buy several now before it is too late and you are condemned to a life of regret and horror.

*Not magical in the literal sense                                                                                           **Not an actual guarantee

Comes in black or gray and a bunch of different styles. Go here for choosing the shirt that will go home with YOU!

Jazz#4 WEB

Cat Fancy

Bizarro 05-31-15 hdrWEBBizarro is brought to you today by Creepy Love.

Just got back from a weekend in San Francisco, a city that Olive Oyl and I dearly love and would live in if it weren’t for the weather. Unless the sun is shining, I’m genetically programmed to be a serial killer, so I try to live where my neighbors and loved ones will be safe.

Here are the cartoons that ended the month of May for Bizarro 05-31-15 WEBBizarro. For the unaware, one of the longest-running TV shows in American history was a western called Gunsmoke (1955-1975), and a main character in the show was a saloon gal named Miss Kitty. In reality she would’ve been a prostitute, but they never mentioned that in the show. My grandfather saw every episode and I watched many of them with him when I was a kid in the ’60s. I have since wondered from time to time why “Cat” and “Kitty” are fairly common names but “Dog” and “Puppy” never caught on.

bz panel 05-25-15 Earlier in the week I did some other cartoons that looked exactly like the ones posted here. Ever been to couples counselling? Sometimes it’s a bit like the old Rock’em Sock’em Robots toy. I loved that toy. Couple counselling, not as much.

bz panel 05-26-15




Shark week is a popular TV thing on one of the cable channels but I have to admit I’ve never seen a single show. That kind of stuff doesn’t appeal to me for some reason.



bz panel 05-27-15




Here’s a fun little pun from the Old West. This is not Miss Kitty. This is Crystal, the waitress with a heart of gold and a rash she’s never been able to completely get rid of.




bz panel 05-28-15





Even though the wedding I attended last weekend was fancy-schmancy and there were a lot of very proper people in attendance, there were a couple of pretty saturated folks by the end of night. Would it be a wedding without some? Well, yes, but probably not one worth attending.

bz panel 05-29-15


I thought of this gag as soon as I heard that cops in certain cities were going to start wearing body cameras. It’s always exciting to come up with a good gag that is very timely but with a typical syndication schedule it still takes several weeks to get something through the pipeline and into the papers.

bz panel 05-30-15


I love this pun about the popular book/film Fifty Shades of Grey. It was the brainchild of my good buddy Cliff The King of Wordplay. Everyone I know comes up with puns but Cliff’s are so unexpected. I’m in awe of the way his mind works.

Super busy with art right now so I’m outta here. I’m going to post some new sketch cards in a day or so. Weeeee!


Buy This Book

One of the best New Yorker cartoonists to come along in the past decade or so is Matthew Diffee. He also happens to be one of my best friends of all the New Yorker cartoonists I know and he and his wife hang out with Olive Oyl and me fairly regularly. The reason I mention this is that he has a new book out that is actually very funny, charming and clever.


It’s not just another book full of cartoons, it’s tied together with a funny and charming narrative and a bunch of extra drawings and jokes. I’m going to risk my impeccable reputation and say you’re going to love this book unless you’re ugly and stupid. People you give it to as a gift will also love it.

Buy it here and make Matt buy me dinner as thanks for all the business I sent his way.

Here’s one of his cute and funny chapter pages, followed by one of his funny cartoons.

Here’s Matt’s website. Here’s a radio interview with Matt about the book.Diffee1

Diffee2 Another good reason to buy the book is because Matt’s wife has a medical condition that we’re all praying will result in the birth of a baby in a few months. If it doesn’t it’ll be extremely disturbing.

Cartoonist Shenanigans

This past weekend, the National Cartoonists Society (NCS) held it’s annual convention. I didn’t make it to the festivities this year but we in the LA chapter were well represented with this special video we prepared. It played at the awards ceremony on Saturday night and I’m told it was a big hit!

Appearing in the video: Me, Tom Gammill, Bill Morrison, David Silverman, Mell Lazarus (and wife Sally), Dave Kellett, Chad Frye, Tony Carrillo, Keith Robinson, Matt Diffee, Arnold Roth (and wife Caroline), Cathy Guisewite, and the widow of Charles Schulz, Jean Schulz. Behind the scenes were Max Pross and Spencer Ramsey.

The song at the end is particularly funny and starts at 4:25 but the story before that is worth watching, too!


A bit of behind-the-scenes fun at the video shoot with me in the bear head and David Silverman in the tuba.


Page 17 of 20« First...10...1516171819...Last »