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Mouth Using

(If you wish to embiggenate any of these cartoons, close your eyes, click your heels three times and click them.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Anger Management.

As regular readers know, I enjoy doing fake magazine covers from time to time. It’s a fun way to use wordplay in a slightly more sophisticated way than just illustrating a pun. The basic idea for this one came from a reader who goes by the suspicious name of Kevin Bartlett. (It’s the perfect name for someone trying to “hide in plain sight,” wouldn’t you agree? I’m guessing he’s at least got credit problems if he isn’t actually in a witness protection program.) Anyway, “Kevin” envisioned a guy holding a magazine called “Parts of Speech” and saying he only reads it for the articles.
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Couture-Related Injuries

(“Click unto me and thee shall find embiggenation,” sayeth the cartoon.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Making The Bible And Science Work Together.

Bible times were hilarious. I should know, I was raised in Oklahoma, the prong of the buckle of the Bible Belt, and a state that has done everything in its power to maintain the atmosphere of the Old Testament well into the 21st century. In small ways they’ve progressed a bit since I was a teenager there, but when I was growing up in Oklahoma, anyone who did not wear the local “uniform” was treated much like poor Kevin of Jericho above. In those days––the early 1970s––the local uniform was a mullet and some form of Confederate flag. Basically, you had to look like a roadie for Lynyrd Skynyrd to keep from being called a “faggot” by strangers on the street, which happened to me weekly, often more than once. I didn’t let it get to me, though. I simply became a widely known satirist and made a living making fun of them in ways they didn’t understand.
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Territory

(To electronically embiggenate any image, turn the arrow thing on your screen into a pointy finger thing and poke it.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Is That So Difficult?

I confess I’m not a big fan of cats. I hope too many of you don’t hate me now. I mostly object to their habit of forcefully placing their fangs and razor-sharp claws into places I’d prefer they not be such as furniture, doorjambs, my flesh, etc.  However, I live with a cat that I have come to love because my beloved Olive Oyl loves her.
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Pyramid Builders Union

(To embiggenate these images to “a million, a million and a half people on the mall,” click the invisible unicorn that dances on your imaginary rainbow.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Alternative Facts.

It was another supremely disturbing week in American politics and one wonders how long the pace of insanity can remain this furious. If you were under a rock last week and didn’t witness the ongoing carnival of spoiled brat billionaires trading your rights, ideals, and environment for cash in their pockets, definitely stay there. Do not come out. Under a rock is the only safe place to be right now.
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Bye!

(To embiggenate a cartoon, click on any character’s ear.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Marriage Statistics.

I often don’t comment on the title panel that appears at the top of each of my weekly posts but I’d like to say that today’s was cobbled together using a detail of one of the pages of my new book. It’s technically an adult coloring book (aimed at adults but safe for kids) but even if you’re not a person of color(ing) I have no doubt you will enjoy the fanciful hallucinations I’ve illustrated on every page. Here’s the full page that the title panel art was taken from. And here is where you can go to arrange for that and the other 30 pages of the book to arrive at your hovelAnd, no, that price is not a misprint.
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Tolerable Humor

(Be an embiggenator by clicking any object in these images that has curved lines.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Good Point.

Political correctness can be tiresome, to be certain. But in the end, it is nothing more than people in a society asking each other to be kind to others and make this a more pleasant world to live in. And even though some people get carried away with it and erroneously think that everything is an offense, the basic concept is not a bad thing.
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Houseguests

(Find yourself wanting more embiggenation out of any of these cartoons? This desire can be satisfied by the mere clickage of the images.)

Happy holidays and other things, Jazz Pickles! I hope you’re having (or have had) a lovely holiday month and that the good times will continue to roll into the new year. As a special holiday treat, I’ve put some of my favorite Bizarro holiday cartoons of the past behind the blue links in this post, so be sure to click those and claim your BONUS CHUCKLES––you’ve earned them! (Don’t ask me how you’ve earned them. I’m only pretending to know you.) Let’s start with this mash-up of competing mythologies.

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Muy Much

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(To begin the embiggenations, click any warm color.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Action Figure Nativity.

Regular readers of my weekly posts will know that Olive Oyl and I moved Rancho Bizarro from Los Angeles to San Miguel de Allende a week ago. With most of our stuff still on a moving van between California and Mexico and no wifi in the house for the first several days, my post last week did not include all of the cartoons from that week because I really hate sitting in adorable cafes in foreign countries typing for hours instead of looking around at the weird place to which I decided to move my life. So, now that I’ve got wifi and am typing from the boring comfort of my own home, here in this post you’ll find today’s big, wide Sunday cartoon and title panel (above) and all of the Monday-through-Saturday cartoons from the last two weeks. And as if that weren’t too much, I’m adding some pics and commentary from our now home in Mexico at the end of the post. Yowza! That’s a lot of value for the price. (Free)
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Game Show

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(If ye seek embiggenation, clicketh any image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Holiday Magic.

Today’s cartoon would have been more appropriate around Columbus Day, but given that the United States accidentally elected a reality show host as president and given his attitudes toward non-white people, it seems relevant now, too. I’ve long despised our tradition of honoring Christopher Columbus with a holiday; he was by all accurate accounts a terrible person who neither proved the world was round nor was the first European to discover the Americas (as I was erroneously taught in elementary school in the 1960s), and he murdered more than 100,000 indigenous people for commercial gain.
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Small Domiciles

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(To embiggenate any cartoon, move your screen closer to your face. Or just click the image.)

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Beard Espalier.

The number over my signature in today’s Old West Extravaganza tells us that there are seven Secret Symbols to hunt for and I think I might have even gotten the count correct this time. Lately, there have been a spate of inaccurate symbol counts and I apologize for that. Like I used to tell my 7th grade math teacher, “What’s with your obsession with absolute accuracy all the time? Geez.” 
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