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Turkey Giant Litter Box

bz panel 11-27-14bz strip 11-27-14bz panel 11-28-14bz strip 11-28-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Get Ready For Christmas.

Here are some Thanksgiving leftovers for your amusement. When I first submitted the cartoon at left, which ran on Thanksgiving Day, my editors were worried that it was too brutal and asked if I really wanted to publish it. I did and here it is. Thus far, I have gotten one piece of angry mail from a reader who said, “you have crossed the line. Why would you have a naked black woman posed as a human Turkey? It wasn’t funny and during these times of rioting and strained race relations the last thing we need is some hack artist making disgusting drawings that demean a national holiday AND a naked black woman lying on a dinner table!” Given what this reader thought they saw, I can’t blame them at all for being incensed. The person on the table is not black, nor a woman, but is Cynthia’s husband, who presumably objected to a turkey-free Thanksgiving dinner. As a long-time animal rights advocate, I have met other activists who lose their ability to separate their hatred of cruelty from their hatred of the species that inflicts it. Cynthia is one such person who ends up losing her shit and offing her husband. Even the turkeys know this is the wrong approach. Most vegans I know do, too.
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Evil Turkey Stuffing Aliens

bz panel 11-24-14bz strip 11-24-14bz panel 11-25-14bz strip 11-25-14bz panel 11-26-14bz strip 11-26-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Being Your Own Pet.

An email buddy of mine, Michael Lagace, sent me the idea of an “evil Knievel” twin and this is how I used it. I had a good time drawing Evel, as he was one of my childhood heroes. The kids in my neighborhood and I used to build ramps out of plywood and stacks of old tires or whatever we could get hold of to prop it up, then jump our bicycles over it at great speed. Yes, it was dangerous, and bones were broken. For all I know, Knievel may be the person for whom the ubiquitous statement, “Don’t try this at home!” was invented.
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Academic Bludgeon Duck

Bizarro 11-23-14 hdrWEB Bizarro 11-23-14 WEBBizarro is brought to you today by Things That Add to Your Worship.

My effervescent and sublime life partner, Olive Oyl, came up with the idea for today’s cartoon. The breadth of her skills continues to amaze me and I consider myself a very lucky man.

If you’ve ever played the enduring classic board game, “Clue,” you’ll doubtless recognize Professor Plum as he enters the Office of Admission and admits what he’s done. I got a good chuckle from it and I hope you do, too. Plus, even though the drawing is not particularly complex, there are still 5 secret symbols to search for. Click the image for a larger view.
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Bear Blog Mouse Eskimo

bz panel 11-17-14bz strip 11-17-14bz panel 11-18-14bz strip 11-18-14bz panel 11-19-14bz strip 11-19-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Freudian Typo.

Insider tip: Don’t bother calling Teddy Bear Headquarters on a Monday. Those dudes are some picnic-loving freaks.

 

 

 

 

 

Insider tip: Don’t use a therapist who has a blog on which he features highlights from each week’s therapy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Insider tip: Mice taxis are notoriously inefficient. But when you’re spending your life in a rodent prison, it’s worth a try.
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Butts, Knock-Offs, Cosplay

bz panel 11-13-14bz strip 11-13-14bz panel 11-14-14bz strip 11-14-14bz panel 11-15-14bz strip 11-15-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Useful Government Institutions.

I thought this “Rear Admiral” gag was a harmless bit of slapstick fun but at least one reader who left a comment thought it was “absolutely classless especially around  veterans day.” (That person must REALLY hate Beetle Baily.)  I generally tend to think that no one is above having a bit of fun poked at them, especially those in authority. What do you think? Should military personnel be held sacred when it comes to cartoons?
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Cluck Brag Kiss Shout

bz panel 11-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Food Discrimination.

Here’s a lovely pastoral view of a truly free-range chicken farm where some of its residents are planning a vacation. It is nothing like where real chickens come from.

 

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I’ve been giving a lot of thought recently about the important things in life and have decided that the amount of money and “things” you have isn’t one of them.
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Bizarro Sunday Punnies #36

Bizarro 11-09-14 hdr WEB Bizarro 11-09-14 WEB(click any image to see it get bigger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Serious Grooming.

Welcome to the 36th edition of Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies. The three cartoons below are my interpretations of pun ideas sent in by readers. Congrats today go to Keith R., Kandice, and Michael Capozzola!

Want to see YOUR original pun in a future edition? Just leave it here in the comments section and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

Quintuple Cavalcade of Comedy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Alien.

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Monday: Dogs are funny. Dogs without electronics are just sad. (Get a print of this cartoon.)

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Tuesday: I was on a jury once for a one-day civil trial and it was boring as hell. I can imagine after a long trial wishing that someone would kill me. (Get a print of this cartoon.)
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Peach Tweet Bug Neurosis

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Selfies.

 

Just for the record, I’m all for organic, locally-grown food. Our current food system is deadly to our health and that of the environment. I am against forcing children to lug backpacks weighing several hundred pounds to school, however.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a cute idea from my friend, Brian Levy. He claims he lives in Texas somewhere but I’ve never been to his house so I’m not sure if I should believe it. (more…)

Hostile Chickens

bizarro 10-19-14 hdr Bizarro 10-19-14 WEB(Don’t be a goober, click these images for larger views.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Common European Photo Ops.

Those of you who have traveled as young adults are likely familiar with hostels. I stayed in a few when I was doing my backpacking-through-Europe trip when I was 20 years old. Lest you mistake me for a privileged white kid, I hasten to add that I paid for every cent of that trip, which lasted nearly four months when I ran out of money and flew back to the U.S. on the stand-by ticket I had in my shoe. The trip was a life-changing experience and one I’ve recommended to every person of that age group I’ve spoken to since. I was never beaten up in a hostel, as this cartoon depicts, but the similarity between the words “hostel” and “hostile” always gave me pause. My trip was full of youthful adventure, however, and I was a victim of robbery by a public official in Palermo and nearly got arrested in Paris––but those are stories for another time. (more…)

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