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Cluck Brag Kiss Shout

bz panel 11-10-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Food Discrimination.

Here’s a lovely pastoral view of a truly free-range chicken farm where some of its residents are planning a vacation. It is nothing like where real chickens come from.

 

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I’ve been giving a lot of thought recently about the important things in life and have decided that the amount of money and “things” you have isn’t one of them.
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Bizarro Sunday Punnies #36

Bizarro 11-09-14 hdr WEB Bizarro 11-09-14 WEB(click any image to see it get bigger.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Serious Grooming.

Welcome to the 36th edition of Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies. The three cartoons below are my interpretations of pun ideas sent in by readers. Congrats today go to Keith R., Kandice, and Michael Capozzola!

Want to see YOUR original pun in a future edition? Just leave it here in the comments section and I’ll consider it. Here are the rules: (more…)

Quintuple Cavalcade of Comedy

Bizarro is brought to you today by Tiny Alien.

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Monday: Dogs are funny. Dogs without electronics are just sad. (Get a print of this cartoon.)

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Tuesday: I was on a jury once for a one-day civil trial and it was boring as hell. I can imagine after a long trial wishing that someone would kill me. (Get a print of this cartoon.)
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Peach Tweet Bug Neurosis

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Selfies.

 

Just for the record, I’m all for organic, locally-grown food. Our current food system is deadly to our health and that of the environment. I am against forcing children to lug backpacks weighing several hundred pounds to school, however.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s a cute idea from my friend, Brian Levy. He claims he lives in Texas somewhere but I’ve never been to his house so I’m not sure if I should believe it. (more…)

Hostile Chickens

bizarro 10-19-14 hdr Bizarro 10-19-14 WEB(Don’t be a goober, click these images for larger views.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Common European Photo Ops.

Those of you who have traveled as young adults are likely familiar with hostels. I stayed in a few when I was doing my backpacking-through-Europe trip when I was 20 years old. Lest you mistake me for a privileged white kid, I hasten to add that I paid for every cent of that trip, which lasted nearly four months when I ran out of money and flew back to the U.S. on the stand-by ticket I had in my shoe. The trip was a life-changing experience and one I’ve recommended to every person of that age group I’ve spoken to since. I was never beaten up in a hostel, as this cartoon depicts, but the similarity between the words “hostel” and “hostile” always gave me pause. My trip was full of youthful adventure, however, and I was a victim of robbery by a public official in Palermo and nearly got arrested in Paris––but those are stories for another time. (more…)

DNA Hippo Can Bellbottoms

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Granny Sale.

 

It’s Saturday, so I’m posting the silliness exhibited in Bizarro since Thursday. If that confuses you, consult your local calendar expert. I have no specific comments to make about any of them. I know, it is rare.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

REZARRO: From Bizarro of 1998, I offer you this other bit of foolishness that has deep, hidden meaning. Let me know if you figure out what it is so I’ll have a good answer should someone ask.bizarro981002WEB

Successful Inferior Parakeet Hostage

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Dressing For Success.

 

I’m not sure where this gentleman is from but wherever it is, he’s enviably successful. And, I want to live there. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My own personal adventures in therapy have yielded amazing results and by following this simple credo––Be an inferior version of someone better than you––I’ve become who I am today. Just think of me as a poor man’s Walt Disney. (For a print of this cartoon, go here.) (more…)

Strolling Monsters

Bizarro 10-12-14 hedrWEBBizarro 10-12-14 WEB(Why won’t you click on these cartoons and look at them larger?)

 

Bizarro is brought to you today by Sharing Chinese Food.

I have long been an opponent of people assuming that gigantic animals are up to no good. Whether you agree with me or not, or find this gag humorous, let it never be said that I didn’t put a hell of a lot of effort into drawing this cartoon. Whew! (more…)

Mojo Clown Fly Game

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Bizarro is brought to you today by Stowaway.

Pharmaceutical companies have known how to prevent bad juju for decades, but there is so much money in mojo treatment that they’ve buried the cure. Sometimes capitalism sucks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you don’t know the song this cartoon refers to, you likely have no idea what this is about. If you do know it, though, it’s a real kick in the pants. Here it is but be warned: it’s a pretty insidious earworm. (more…)

Six Smiles

bz panel 09-29-14bz strip 09-29-14bz panel 09-30-14bz strip 09-30-14bz panel 10-01-14bz strip 10-01-14bz panel 10-02-14bz strip 10-02-14bz panel 10-03-14bz strip 10-03-14bz panel 10-04-14bz strip 10-04-14Bizarro is brought to you today by Being Your Own Pet.

It’s been a busy week at Rancho Bizarro and I didn’t even fully realize I hadn’t posted any cartoons since last Sunday until this morning. Crazy, daddio. I’m still working as the host/narrator of FOX TV’s Utopia, which has kept me pretty busy. I don’t know how long the gig will last but it sure has been fun to work on. It’s already led to other opportunities, which is terrific. One notable one is that the Coen brothers are planning a live-action version of Snow White and I’m being seriously considered for the role of Creepy, an eighth dwarf they added specifically for me. Wish me luck! (more…)

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