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Rex Me Up

bz panel 07-15-13bz strip 07-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Badass Messiah.

Over the weekend, Klamelda and I went to a big fundraiser here in LA sponsored by the Derby Dolls: a women’s roller derby league. It was held in several large warehouse spaces and the parking lots of said buildings. They had circus performers and various other sideshow kinds of things, as well as an exhibition match between two derby teams. It was a blast. (more…)

Worst Picnic EVER

Bizarro 07-07-13 WEB(For an embiggened view of this cartoon, click on the ant’s acidopore.)

Bizarro is brang to you today by I Only See Two.

Here’s a dandy collaboration between my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. To understand this gag, you must be familiar with 1950s sci-fi movies about the effects of radiation. One of them was called “Them” and it was terrifying if you’re afraid of large, mechanical ants. (more…)

Shell Shirts

Bz panel 07-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Reptilian Garments.

bz strip 07-05-13Here is day 5 of J.C. Duffy‘s six-day heroic stint as my guest cartoonist. Tomorrow is the last day, so get your bets in before the windows close!

Have you ever been really close to a large sea turtle in the open sea? I have, while snorkeling, on many occasions and I have always found it to be exhilarating. Sea turtles are among my favorite animals, for some reason. If I believed in reincarnation, I’d likely believe I was a turtle in a previous life, somewhere between my life as a salamander and as Burt Reynolds. Burt isn’t technically dead yet, but since I’m talking about make-believe, I can make up my own rules. (more…)

Hissing Bliss

Bz panel 07-03-13bz strip 07-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Handsome Homemade Towels.

Here is J.C.Duffy’s (Fusco Brothers, New Yorker) third cartoon of the week. If you missed my previous two posts then you may not know that a few weeks back I took a vacation and J.C. filled in for me. He did the work I was supposed to submit that week, which is just now running in newspapers, so I’m not actually on vacation now; in case you were thinking of robbing my house. (Okay, my nest hanging on the side of a building in downtown L.A.) (more…)

Dog Blog

bz panel 06-11-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Prehistoric Dogs.

Many readers already know that I’m an ethical vegan, meaning that I’m vegan because I don’t believe in cruelty to animals. Vegans are routinely against hunting (in cultures where it is not necessary for survival) for obvious reasons. I am, too, but I must say that hunting is the least cruel way to put meat on your table. (Unless you’re doing it with a bow and arrow.) The suffering an animal experiences being shot in the wild is many times less than what happens to “food” animals in commercial production facilities and slaughterhouses. This is true even of “free range” and “cage free” chickens. This is an example of how FDA-approved “free range” chickens live in most cases. At least animals killed in the wild lived a natural life and died relatively suddenly. Still, I don’t hunt because I don’t feel comfortable killing things for strip 06-11-13 (more…)

Feline Attraction

Bizarro 06-09-13 WEB(For an enormously larger view of this cartoon, click on any cat.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by What the…??

I love me some super hero satire and have done a metric ton of it in my career. In fact, I put out an entire book of Bizarro super hero cartoons which is still available at finer book outlets like this one. I recommend it for several reasons: you might laugh when reading it; it makes the perfect gift for friends and enemies alike; I need the money. (more…)

Poisonous Beauty

bz panel 06-06-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Hideous Disfigurements.

I love this gag but I figured I’d get questions about it. The simple answer is that Botox is supposed to eliminate crow’s feet. (In Canada, they are better known as “crow’s centimeters.”)

I have a couple of crows that live in my backyard, Joe and Flo. They live there with Earl the squirrel, Darrow the sparrow, Robin the robin, Dale and Gail the snails, Jake the snake, and Schneider the spider. Joe and Flo are my friends, so I warned them about Botox since we live near Hollywood and the local trash bins are overflowing with old containers of the strip 06-06-13 (more…)

Don’t Speak

bz panel 06-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by What I’ve Been Saying For Years.

I’ve never been on trial but I’m sure it sucks. Worse yet, would be when trusted companions testify against you. All those years you thought that person was your confidant and loyal friend till the end, then suddenly, they’re telling your secrets to a public court. That would really suck. (more…)

Sunday Punnies #30

Bizarro 06-02-13 WEB(For larger fun in a bigger size, click Kirk’s shirt logo.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by How Do I Shut This Thing Off?!

As you can see, this is the 30th installment of Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies, the cartoons which come from puns donated by readers. This week, we congratulate Anne Livingstone of Canada, Don Shook of somewhere, and Peter DM, who is from god-knows-where. (more…)

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