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Sunday Punnies #31

Bizarro 08-11-13 WEB

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(To witness this cartoon grow before your eyes, click the wizard’s undies.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by You Kids Get Off Of My Lawn!

Welcome to the 31th installment of Bizarro’s Sunday Punnies, the cartoons which come from puns donated by readers. This week, we congratulate Jazz Pickles Bradley Ward, T. Filice, and Alex. There are no words for the pride they feel today. (more…)

Whatevs

Bizarro 08-04-13 WEBBizarro 08-04-13 hedr(For an up-closerer look at this scribbling, click the Panda’s nose.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Japanese Super Heroes.

This cartoon is a lampoon of the beloved, cheap ‘n’ cheezy Japanese sci-fi films of bygone days, as well as a comment on our modern attention span. Some of you may remember such eminent feature films as King Kong vs. Godzilla,Godzilla vs. Mothra, and King Kong Saves Godzilla’s Life With CPR. Today’s sequel to these brilliant cinemagraphical feats was the brainchild of my cartoon colleague and good buddy, Jim Horwitz, whom we in the industry fondly refer to as “Jimmy Ho.” JimHo does a web cartoon called “Watson,” which I’ve mentioned on this blog before. As the newspaper industry shrinks and fewer cartoon features are being signed to syndication contracts all of the time, Jim is part of the new wave of cartoonists whose work only appears on the web. Let’s call them “New Artists.” I don’t know why, but let’s do. (more…)

Pooch Suitor

bz panel 07-26-13bz strip 07-26-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Avante Dogs.

Does this cartoon imply that if you send your dog to an Ivy LBz panel 10-14-06 new puppyeague school that his pick-up technique will be more sophisticated than humping a leg? Yes, it does. If this is in your dog’s future, get him one of these.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In keeping with my habit of including an old cartoon each day in my blog, here’s one from ’06 that got some terrific hate mail. I can’t find it now (of course!) but the woman was angry with me because, according to her, plenty of people abuse and neglect their children and “we” shouldn’t be giving them more ideas with cartoons like mine. Really? Really? I told her that if someone was irrational enough to give up their children for a dog, the kids were better off anyway, and that the reason I wrote this cartoon was because of all of the idiots who drop their family dog off at the city shelter because they are afraid it would hurt the baby. This happens a lot, I’m sorry to say.

Fly By Drawing

Here’s something interesting and strange that has never happened to me before. I got a comment this morning from Alex Wild, a photographer who does a lot of super-close-up images of insects. Apparently, and unbeknownst to me, he took the photo of the fly that I used to create the fly drawing in my title panel (the green thing in this post.) He objected to my using this image without permission and I fully understand his concern, however, I don’t think mine is close enough to his to warrant concern. Yes, I used his image as reference to create my fly sketch, but I think mine is loose enough to be considered a translation rather than a copy. He feels otherwise, and that’s understandable. (more…)

No Fly List

Bizarro 07-21-13 WEB

 

 

 

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(To see a more enormouser version of this cartoon, click eye # 8435 on the fly in pink.)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Big Kiss.

This is a fairly soft gag about the lifespan of common houseflies but I used it as a Sunday panel so I could really get into drawing the bugs. I’m a big fan of insects, which don’t scare me or creep me out unless I suspect them of being dangerous. Outside of that, I think they’re the coolest things on earth.  Also worth noting in this cartoon is the maggot-covered Bizarro Bunny on the wall poster––also really fun to draw. (more…)

Going Straight

bz panel 07-20-13bz strip 07-20-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Self-Eating Crow.

Part of the reason I like to explain my gags a bit on this blog is because my readership is international. Since many of my gags come from English idioms or wordplay, it is common even for a person who is fluent in English but has never lived in the U.S., Canada, or Britain to have no idea what I’m referring to. Additionally, I don’t know how widely a given idiom is used. This cartoon is a twist on the expression, “as the crow flies,” which refers to how far away something is if you could go straight there rather than taking available roads. “It’s only a mile as the crow flies but you have to go five miles around that gated community of frightened white people to get there.” (more…)

Rex Me Up

bz panel 07-15-13bz strip 07-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Badass Messiah.

Over the weekend, Klamelda and I went to a big fundraiser here in LA sponsored by the Derby Dolls: a women’s roller derby league. It was held in several large warehouse spaces and the parking lots of said buildings. They had circus performers and various other sideshow kinds of things, as well as an exhibition match between two derby teams. It was a blast. (more…)

Worst Picnic EVER

Bizarro 07-07-13 WEB(For an embiggened view of this cartoon, click on the ant’s acidopore.)

Bizarro is brang to you today by I Only See Two.

Here’s a dandy collaboration between my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh. To understand this gag, you must be familiar with 1950s sci-fi movies about the effects of radiation. One of them was called “Them” and it was terrifying if you’re afraid of large, mechanical ants. (more…)

Shell Shirts

Bz panel 07-05-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Reptilian Garments.

bz strip 07-05-13Here is day 5 of J.C. Duffy‘s six-day heroic stint as my guest cartoonist. Tomorrow is the last day, so get your bets in before the windows close!

Have you ever been really close to a large sea turtle in the open sea? I have, while snorkeling, on many occasions and I have always found it to be exhilarating. Sea turtles are among my favorite animals, for some reason. If I believed in reincarnation, I’d likely believe I was a turtle in a previous life, somewhere between my life as a salamander and as Burt Reynolds. Burt isn’t technically dead yet, but since I’m talking about make-believe, I can make up my own rules. (more…)

Hissing Bliss

Bz panel 07-03-13bz strip 07-03-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Handsome Homemade Towels.

Here is J.C.Duffy’s (Fusco Brothers, New Yorker) third cartoon of the week. If you missed my previous two posts then you may not know that a few weeks back I took a vacation and J.C. filled in for me. He did the work I was supposed to submit that week, which is just now running in newspapers, so I’m not actually on vacation now; in case you were thinking of robbing my house. (Okay, my nest hanging on the side of a building in downtown L.A.) (more…)

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