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Don’t Ask, Don’t Smell

bz panel 10-18-13bz strip 10-18-13Bizarro is branged to you today by Purse Snatcher.

Here’s a fun little doggy thing that my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh and I collaborated on. The basic idea is his but I changed the text a bit and added a dandy-looking (if I may say so myself) police dog to the mix. There is a person in my neighborhood who walks an ENORMOUS German Shepherd about the same time I walk my precious Jemima, and man, I can only imagine the fear that would strike your heart if this guy were on the end of a cop’s leash and was snarling at me. He’s the biggest German Shepherd I’ve ever seen and I’m thankful he’s docile. So is Jemima, who has a crush on him I think, even though he is no longer anatomically prepared for romance. (more…)

Headless Visit

bz panel 10-15-13bz strip 10-15-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Celebrity Meese.

This cartoon was published on a day that is also my mother’s birthday, which is why if you look closely, you’ll see a happy-birthday message to my mom. She’s a terrific lady, lots of fun, rarely gets into bar fights anymore, always willing to give anyone the shirt off her back. (Which sometimes leads to an indecent exposure arrest, but that doesn’t stop her. That’s how big her heart is!) Happy birthday, Mom. You’re the best! (more…)


bz 04-01-97 ZippyBizarroWEB Luann_BizarroOne of my Jazz Pickles asked about the Great Comic Strip Switcharoo of 1997, so I dug up my files on the case and offer them to you here.

Here’s what happened: Jerry Scott and Rick Kirkman of Baby Blues thought it would be fun to play an April Fool’s Day gag on readers by getting artists to write and draw someone else’s cartoon for that day. Those of us who agreed to participate (forty-something syndicated cartoonists) were assigned another feature to do for April 1st. I was given Luann by Greg Evans and Bill Griffith of Zippy the Pinhead was assigned to do Bizarro. I’ve met Bill a few times and although he’s quiet and stoic, he’s a delightfully weird guy. I admire his work for its inscrutable quality, always seeming as though it means something but I’ll be damned if I can figure out what. His version of Bizarro that day was right in line. (more…)

Out of the Bag

bz panel 10-09-13bz strip 10-09-13Bizarro is brought to you today by President Garfield.

I think there is one thing we can all agree on: alcoholic cats are hysterical. I especially like the ones that hang around outside liquor stores asking people to buy them booze. I’ve never done it, mind you, because I believe that providing non-human animals, or humans not of legal age with alcohol is wrong. Of course, the best thing about alcoholic cats is that if it kills them, you still have a few lives left to get them some help. There are many excellent cat rehab facilities in the U.S., as we have learned from the well-publicized case of Garfield and his battles against substance abuse. Inside sources say that Garfield is down to his ninth life, however, and is still boozing it up pretty heavily. I’m not proud of it, but I look forward to the day when he is put out of my misery. (more…)

Inappropriate Gifts

Bizarro 10-06-13 WEBrevise



(If you can place your cursor on the pedestrian’s backpack, you can make this cartoon bigger!)

Bizarro is brought to you today by Serpentine Circus.

I’ve had this idea in the dugout for quite some time but hadn’t drawn it yet. Then I corresponded with one of my most loyal, long-time Jazz Pickles, Jan, who, along with her  dog, Penny, and python, Louise, has been featured on this blog before. I found out that the three of them are having some pretty serious difficulties at the moment and Jan asked me if I’d do a another snake cartoon for her sometime soon. It seemed like the perfect time to use this gag, which features some of my favorite issues about pets, and dedicate it to her and her loved ones. You can see my dedication to them in the upper left corner. (more…)

Relative Abuse

bz panel 10-02-13bz strip 10-02-13Bizarro is brought to you today by Wedding Party.

Chimp intelligence has long been a subject of intense study by us humans. There is a book by Pulitzer Prize winning author, Jared Diamond, called The Third Chimpanzee in which, among other amazing, fascinating scientific and historical observations, he makes a case for considering humans a third kind of chimpanzee (alongside the Common Chimpanzee and the Bonobo) rather than a whole new category of super-special, divinely-ordained, non-animal creatures. This book was seminal in forming my world view and I can’t recommend it highly enough. I agree with his assessment wholeheartedly and you can see evidence in the remarkable similarities of not only our bodies (around 99% identical DNA) but also our social behavior. (more…)

Noah Logic

bz panel 09-30-13bz strip 09-30-13Bizarro is brought to you today by the Consequences of Tardiness

I’ve already gotten a few questions about this cartoon so I’ll ‘splain it. Clowns are famous for emerging in large numbers out of very tiny cars. So a clown Noah…

If you still don’t get it, blame my known associate, Wayno of Pittsburgh, with whom I collaborated on this cartoon. Among the many wonderful things that Wayno and I share is a repulsion for actual clowns and an affinity for clown cartoons. He does his own ‘splainin’ about this here cartoon here.   Of the points he makes therein, my favorite is that an ark this size is just as likely to carry two of every species on earth as one of the size prescribed in the Bible. I smiled broadly. (more…)

Birds in the Hand

bz panel 09-17-13bz strip 09-17-13Bizarro is brought to you today by a Banner Ad That I Saw And Was Afraid To Click On So I Have No Idea What It Means.

I have a deep and abiding love of birds. I can’t stand to see them in cages and have on many occasions considered freeing them, knowing I would be risking arrest. I’m ashamed to say that I’ve never quite had the courage to do it because I don’t want to end up in jail or court. (more…)

Snakes ‘n’ Rabbits

bz panel 09-14-13 medusabz strip 09-14-13medusaBizarro is brought to you today by Huh?

Contrary to usual, I had more fun drawing the strip version of this one than the vertical panel. It’s entirely because of the giant bunny attack on screen, of course. I’d love to see the whole movie.













MedusaBeach WEB

BIZARRO OF THE LIVING DEAD: As you can see, today’s panel isn’t the only Medusa cartoon I’ve ever drawn. This one from 1998 was never published in Bizarro, of course, but appeared in a Swedish magazine or two and is in my autobiography, “Bizarro and Other Strange Manifestations of the Art of Dan Piraro”. This is one of my favorite gags I’ve ever written and I’m thrilled to have a good excuse to share it with you here.

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